If you're a lover of over the top Hong Kong kung-fu action movies just drowning in a sci-fi plot and containing romantic undertones, then this movie is for you! However, if you're like me, and you expect this to be a live action adaptation of the Animated movie of the same name, then in the words of Judas Priest, "You got another thing comin'"! Sure, there are things relating the two, like the concept of a human secret agnet falling in love with a not-so human woman while they try to save the world, but death gods like myself will get annoyed when they see just how much of the movie's been changed around. As usual, it stars a bunch of people with funny names who all look alike (I'm not racist, I'm just calling it like I see it). The flick opens with a scene very similar to the Anime, as a Japanese "business man" *wink*wink* gets a little comfy with a whore. Before he can get his rocks off though, the bitch turns into a gangly spider demon and the guy's partner makes a sudden appearance as the two kill the many-legged wench. The girl wasn't any normal Hong Kong hooker as you can imagine, she's actually a Reptoid: member of a race of alien shapeshifters who are hiding amongst us and attempting to integrate themselves into our society so we can all live in peace and harmony and crap. Meanwhile, there's also the Reptoids who want to say "fuck you" to the humans, wipe em out, and take Earth for their own. Sound familiar? It should. If nowhere else, the same idea was reproduced in BLADE several years later. Anyway, our two heroes from the begining are Taki and Ken, and they're agents for a secret CIA-esque Anti-Reptoid agency devoted to taking out the bad Reps at any cost. Recently there's been a big problem on the Hong Kong streets, as a powerful Rep narcotic called "Happiness" is starting to pollute the city's junkies and it's up to the agency to put a stop to it at it's source. But, Taki's going solo for this assignment, because the chief has ordered that Ken not be involved! Despite the order, Ken makes an appearance in a restaurant kitchen, as he rescues the seemingly helpless Taki from a silverware slinging Rep assassin. After this scene, we learn that Ken is the son of a human man and a Reptoid woman, making him half Rep. The chief thinks this may give reason to leak agency secrets to the evil Reptoid faction in a move of sympathy and Reptoid pride, hence why he's ordered Ken off the case in the first place. This also leads to Taki's flashback, where we discover that he had a Reptoid lover at one time... and yes, it was a FEMALE Rep... or at least that's the form it took. Anyway, despite the chief's orders Ken AGAIN disobeys, joining Taki in the taking down of a rich Reptoid business man named Geng-Dai-Soy (don't quote me on any of these names, I'm just doing my best to spell them even REMOTELY close!). However, this seems somewhat askewed in logic, since the guy only wants to continue the Rep transfusion into Hong Kong social life, going about it peacefully and profitably. Shouldn't they be going after the guys who prefer to kill everyone instead?! Well, Taki and Ken discover that one of the chicks working for Dai-Soy is Taki's ex Rep lover, Gengi-Mai, who, I think, is also Dai-Soy's wife or concubine. Sure enough, political turmoil amongst the different Reptoid factions intervenes, as Dai-Soy and his peace loving associates foolishly drink some spiked punch. Spiked with what? Well, it's not poison, vodka, or even gin, but liquid Reptoids! THIS was a welcomed twist to things in my view! Meanwhile, Taki saves Gengi-Mai, who was being held in a bad Reptoid trap. At this time, Taki's pals at the bureu decide to break in on the party and take out some Rep ass! As for Gengi-Mai, it's actually Dai-Soy and his electirified blood that make it possible for her to beat a hasty retreat, leaving him to be captured by the agency while she makesher escape. What a noble guy. Stupid and overly sappy, but noble. Afterwards, GM (Gengi-Mai) wants to find out who it was that betrayed Dai-Soy and called the men in black, so she seeks out Dai-Soy's son Shudo. She walks in on him as he's fucking a Rep bitch... who has changed her shape to a pinball machine... okay, odd but, again, a nice little change of pace. Later, after visiting Shudo, GM decides to try and rekindle her romance with Taki... by poisoning him?! For the next 5 or 10 minutes I'm confused as Hell, as, apparently, Shudo possessed GM, fucked her, then gave her some antidote that turned out to really be poison... so, uhm, now I think Taki and GM are BOTH poisoned, and only Ken and the bureu can save them. Speaking of Ken, he winds up lossing his job, under suspicion that he's giving the Reps classified info that's helping them avoid and hurt the agency! The good guys heal Taki without a second thought. As for GM, they have other plans for her, including eperimentation and disection! Taki won't lay down for this shit though, so, now healed, goes against his own employers and saves GM! Then Taki sends her on her way before he disappears himself. Here we discover the truth of who it is supplying the Reps with info: Ken....... 's would-be-girlfriend Shira! Had ya goin' there didn't I? So, Ken then goes off in a matter of urgency as he and GM team up to battle Shudo, the head of the evil Rep movement! Actually, GM does the fighting while Ken drives around... once again, I get lost and confuseat this point. My confusion finally halts though, as the agency comes looking for Ken, branding him as a traitor due to some BS story Shira told them about witnessing KEN dealing drugs with the bad guys! Back at agency headquarters, Ken manages to slip in and free the captive Dai-Soy (who had his powers dampened by an agency electro-magnetic field), and after picking up Taki too, they head off to rescue GM from Shudo, who captured her at the end of their battle. While all this shit goes down, we bare witness to some Rep plan of Shudo and friends to open up some kind of space and time vacuum that will turn back time itself, to humans first began to roam the Earth, where the Reptoids can kill them off and take over everything! To get to Shudo tho ugh, the trio must over come more liquid Reptoids and a horny elevator (that pinball machine chick, who Dai-Soy then sexually dominates, turns into a motorcycle, and throws out a 17 story window!). After beatin' on the B-Team, it's time to take the final fight, as the good guys battle Shudo, who has reverted to his true Reptoid form, lokking very similar to the red guy from NIGHT BREED! Things start to break down as a jetplane somehow gets involved in the whole equation! Ken, reverting to his own Rep form, battles his former friends from the agency as Dai-Soy amd Shudo have a little father-son fight to the death on the plane, high above the ground! Meanwhile, Taki saves GM from the Happiness induced haze that Shudo put her in (remember, the drug, not the emotion). But, just as Ken gives up his human side entirely in a last ditch effort to save himself, GM intervenes, killing Ken before he goes balistic. Figures, save the life of the woman you love, and she kills your best friend! There's more metaphore here than you can being to fathom... After a heartfealt goodbye to the dying Ken, Taki transfuses his blood to GM (only a total transfusion could get rid of all the contaminated Happiness blood), then set off to take his hand against Shudo. GM regains her strength in time to prevent Taki from getting his ass handed to him. Shudo winds up shoved through the jet's engines,then Dai-Soy, Gengi-Mai, and Taki are teleported to Ken's side as he's slipping into death, and the bureu's telekinetic squad brings the out of control plane to a soft landing on top of the building all this shit has been happening around! Dai-Soy and Gengi-Mai leave, escaping arrest from the good guys. Dai-Soy then gets REALLY old REALLY fast, leaving GM to shed a tear and drive off into the sunset. Of all the differences between this movie and the Anime version, I'd have to say the ever biting confusion the movie weighed me down with was the BIG discomfort factor! I like an action packed kung-fu ass beat movie as much as the next guy in the Jackie Chan shirt, but not when everything happens so fast and without straight explanation that I don't know just WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!! Aside from the confusion, I also didn't like the changes made, such as the changing of the original's super powered demons into the shape changing Reptoid aliens. Also, the whole drug angle was stupid, especially since they named it something like "Happiness"! Why not "Bliss", "Euphoria", or "A Night With A Passed Out Cindy Margolis"? The name "Happiness" just registers a 12 on the "faggy names for drugs" meter. Some of the character additions were cool, like the whole angel about Ken, and the presence of Gengi-Mai's husband Geng-Dai-Soy. The gore and action, though, were deffinately the highlights! However, the Anime will always stand tall over this live action feature. Any who disagree can open wide and take a bite out of my large, glistening, well oiled.... CHAINSAW!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: the animated WICKED CITY or MEN IN BLACK