infancy, allergies, colitis ,ibs, chronic anaemia, and various problems of health. i had ME in the days when it was called yuppie flu, and told its in your head which is what you believe at first because like you the tests show nothing. but i use to get sweats and lose my voice completely, sometime i would get in my car burst in to tears because i could not remember
how to drive. work became a nightmare of finding slots to rest, and then drag a lead weighted body
around, i work in accounts which was very pressurised. Sometimes i had to hang on the back of my mothers coat because my legs became so heavy i could not lift them. but i was finally diagnosed in 1987 with ME total food allergy syndrome and chronic candia albicans which had
rampaged through my insides. I also have fibromyalgia and sacrillitis which has now
affected eyes, which kept haemorraging yesterday i was told by the hospital specialist that i have iritis. i also developed agrophobia which has lasted 5 years i am now beginning to cope better with it,and can control the shear panick i use to feel much better. I will close now and wish you the best in you pursuit of coping, i have great faith in Gods power to give me strenth at those times when i just want to give up especially when coping with indifference and
predjudice.
Frieda
Over the next 13 years it would occur without warning while I tried to hold down 2 jobs college and then eventually a full time job. I would go to my doctors and they would prescribe an antidepressant after spending a mere 5 minutes talking with me. I loved one of the last doctors I spoke to who proceeded to back out of the door as I described my symptoms, her way of telling me the consultation was over.
I am writing this article as much for the people suffering with the same illness as I am for their friends and family. I hope that by describing my symptoms might make those afflicted feel some level of comfort, knowing they aren’t alone, they aren’t crazy and they aren’t just tired.
I have told very few people that I am sick. At present most of my family isn’t even aware that I am ill and no longer working. I got tired of being asked, “So you are just tired?” I would go through and explain the feelings, the exhaustion, the pain just to be faced with, “Oh yeah I get tired like that too.” I would smile and change the subject because I knew this person didn’t face months or years confined to a bed. I knew that spending a full 4 hours awake wasn’t an accomplishment for her and I knew that until you are faced with this illness you are unable to understand how bad it is. I didn’t. I was afflicted with this since I was 13 years old and I didn’t understand the depth behind it. I wrote it off as I didn’t get enough sleep, I wasn’t eating well and that’s the problem. In part I was right, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of proper diet, exercise and of course rest. I would sleep for a week, feel better and go right back to my life, the life that was making me sick.
It wasn’t until this last time that I realized how powerful our bodies are and how powerless we are year and a half. It was a young group of people and in the beginning was interesting and kept me busy. The people I worked with for the most part were nice and fun to be around and I had maybe 2 years without getting sick. My husband, mother and I would talk about it must have had a lot to do with finding the right job and the right environment and whatever I am doing I must be doing something right. It was a relief.
I would love to be able to tell you what changed. In January 2004 my husband and I decided to try to lose some weight, eat better, exercise more-the typical New Year’s Resolutions. We were doing very well too but I noticed I was getting dizzy to the point where I would have to grab on to something to keep from falling and I was getting these pains in my chest. I went to a new doctor and lucked out because she was great. She said she wanted to run some tests which was fine with me. I went back to work on Tuesday and that was my last day. Wednesday I awoke feeling tired and sick so I took the day off and that was the end of me. I spent the next 2 months pretty much confined to bed. I would get up occasionally and go downstairs to watch TV but the stairs were too much for me and I would have trouble breathing. On a good day I could maybe empty the dishwasher and remain awake for 4-6 hours. On a bad day I would got to bed around 8:00pm and sleep until 2 or 3:00 the next afternoon only to repeat the cycle. I saw 3 doctors, an endocrinologist and a cardiologist only to be told by all of them that they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. I was let go from my job and the pattern started again only this time worse. I wasn’t better in a week, not in two weeks, not even in a month. In fact as I sit here writing this I am still not well. I am better but not well.
So what does it feel like? Well I can tell you it’s not just tired. I have been tired. I have gone to bed at 4am only to wake up at 8am-that’s tired. This is exhaustion, complete and utter exhaustion. Making a phone call was too draining, getting up for a drink of water was too exhausting, sitting and watching TV was too tiring I would have to lay down. I couldn’t read because holding the book and focusing that much was draining. The idea of showering and blow drying my hair would take days to build up to.
The doctors didn’t understand. Most people don’t, we all get tired why am I any different? It was through my friend Dawn that I learned of Adrenal Fatigue and became my research. Research that lead me to the Clymer Healing Institute in PA. I quickly learned I wasn’t alone, in fact I learned that I was one of the better patients he’s seen. There are people that have been afflicted to the point of being bed ridden for years, to weak to get out of bed. I have slowly been getting better, revamping my life, learning my limitations getting control of my stress.
There are 2 fantastic books I have read on this subject, on treatment, and I won’t even try to relay the valuable information contained inside. For me, the best treatment was reading these books and learning that someone else had been there, this author was telling me how I felt! So I urge you to check out the resources I have listed below.
If you are a spouse, roommate, family member of someone suffering with this illness I urge you to also check out these resources. It’s difficult on the patient but equally difficult on the family members. We aren’t just lazy, just getting up and getting dressed won’t make us feel better, we aren’t just depressed-although being confined to a bed for months can make anyone depressed. But most importantly we aren’t making this up.
The doctors can’t find proof in their blood work that it exists, in fact many doctors will tell you nothing is wrong with you-“snap out of it.” But it is real. Modern medicine has achieved many great things but along the way has lost its humanity, lost its touch with the body and how it responds to every day life and stressors. Doctors treat the symptoms not the cause so I urge you, before you get that prescription for an antidepressant filled or before you give up hope visit the sites below. You may just find that you aren’t just tired.
Michele Ann Fawcett is a freelance author that writes on a variety of subject matter including fiction for adults and children. Please visit her site Fischer Freelance Writing.
Copyrighted 2004 Michele Ann Fawcett
05/28/04