Some of these lovely songs and poems were written
by Mandy...
If we specify that they are hers please respect our
deep feelings for these displays of emotion and ask
before you use them on your page...
Thank you.


Henry, I love you
do you know that I miss you
and long to hold you in my arms each day?
I yearn to touch you
and be there when you smile and when you cry too
You were so perfect in every way

It wasn't time but you still came
I held your hand and I saw your pain
and said "Henry, its okay if you have to go"
I know you tried so hard to stay
and my heart broke when you went away
but one day we'll be together again...I know

Henry, fly free and high now
jump on the clouds as only you know how
Slide down the rainbows and play in the sun
I'll see you every night
up in the sky you're that star shining bright
My little man have lots of fun... until I come...

(Song - written with love by Henry's Mere (Mandy)...)


It's been such a long time
since we have felt okay
We've had so many mountains to climb...
along the way
but then you came into our lives
and stole our hearts away
and now we're finally standing here
smiling as we say....

We love you Harry
You know we do
and we'll do anything,
to make your dreams come true...
We love you Harry
and all these people do to
so when you need someone..
take a look around my son
there will always be someone here for you.

We promise that we'll guide you
the best way we can
To help you grow up into,
a beautiful man
to be sensitive and loving,
strong and in good health
we wish you every happiness
but most of all....
just be yourself.

(Song - written by Harry's Mere (Mandy) for Harry's naming day
ceremony....Jan 1998)



Some people are too good for this life
so they don't stay long...

You, Henry, battled for 32 hours to be with us
but when we saw your pain and told you
it was okay to go.... you did.

Your purpose on earth was not to stay
but to bring people closer together with understanding
and to make us appreciate life
and live it to the fullest.

and in your short time with us, you fulfilled that task
you are a very small
but so very perfect in every way -
with the face of an angel.

and now while you wait for us to join you
fly free while you watch over us...
jump on the clouds and slide down the rainbows.

we will see your beauty in every sunset
and see your smile shine on us every night,
from the brightest star.

Thank you for letting us share some time with you
we love you Henry
To the moon and down again
Around the stars and back again

Goodnight little man
See you in our dreams....

 (Letter written to Henry and read at his funeral service...)


You will always be there...
the rays of light filtered through the sentinels of
trees this morning.
I sat in the garden and contemplated.

The serenity and beauty of my feelings and
surroundings completely captivated me....
I thought of you.

I discovered you tucked away in the shadows
of the trees.
Then rediscovered you, on the smiles of the flowers
as the sun penetrated the petals...
In the rhythm of the leaves falling in the garden...
In the freedom of the birds as they fly
searching as you do....

I'm very happy to have found you...
now you will never leave me for I will always find you
in the beauty of life...

(Author Unknown - Given to us at Henry's funeral.)



Have you ever watched kids
on a merry go round...
or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight...
or, gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
don't dance so fast...
time is short, the music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?
When the day is done...
do you lie in your bed
with the next hundred chores
running through your head?
You'd better slow down
don't dance so fast...
time is short, the music won't last.

Ever told your child
we'll do it tommorrow..
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
let a good friendship die
cos you never had time,
to call and say "Hi"
You better slow down
don't dance so fast...
time is short, the music wont last.

When you run so fast
to get somewhere...
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through you day,
it is like an unopened gift...
thrown away...
life is not a race
do take it slower
hear the music...
before the song is over.

(Writer - Unknown)


Our future rests in a tiny mind...
not yet influenced by politics,
not yet predjudiced by skin color,
not yet concerned with money and status,
not yet worried about size, weight or fashion,
not tainted by bias.

Our future rests in the heart of one...
who hasen't yet been to school,
who cannot read or write,
or play sport,
whi has not yet learned to speak.

To Guaruntee we have a future...
We need to protect, nourish, love and educate.
We need to look at our new beginnings.

The future is in our hands...

(Writer - Unknown)


The day my child died
I fell into the pit of grief.
My friends watched me struggle through daily life
waiting for the person I once was to arise,
from the pit,
not realising, "she" is gone forever.

The pit is full of darkness, heartache and despair,
It paralizes your thoughts, movements and ability to ration.
The pit leaves you forever changed..
unable to surface the person you once were.

Some of my "pre-grief" friends
gather around the top of the pit
waiting for the old me to appear before their eyes....
Not understanding, whats taking me so long
to emerge.
After  their eyes, Ive been in the pit
for quite some time.
Yet, in my eyes, it seems as if I fell in
only yesterday.

Not all my "pre-grief" friends
are gathered at the top of the pit.
Some are helping me with the climb
out of the darkness....
They climb side by side with me
from time to time
but mostly they climb ahead of me..
waiting patiently at each plateau...
Even with these friends,
I sometimes wonder,
if they are also waiting for the
"pre-grief" me to magically appear
before their eyes.

Then. there are the casual acquaintancs...
You know, the ones who say
"Hi, How are you?"
When they really dont care, or really dont
wanna know
These people are the people,
who sigh in relief that it
was my child who died and not theirs.
You know.. the "better them than me" attitude,
(not that I blame them for that sigh or attitude
I too, wish it happened to someone other than myself.)

My post grief friends are the ones who
climb with me...
Side by side,
inch by inch,
out of the pit of grief...
They have no way of comparing
the "pit climber" to the "pre grief" person
I once was...
You see, they started at the bottom of
the pit with me...
They are able to reassure me when I need
rest when I need resting,
and encourage me to move forward
when I don't have the strength...
They have no expectations, no memories
and no recollection of how I "should" be.
They want me to get better...
to smile more often
and find joy in life...
but they've also accepted the person
Ive become.
"The person, who is emerging from the pit"

(Author - Unknown)

Before I was a mom

Before I was a mom . . .
. . . I made and ate hot meals.
. . . I had unstained clothing.
. . . I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how
late I got into bed.
. . . I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom . . .
. . . I cleaned my house each day.
. . . I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
. . . I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I had never been puked on . . . pooped on . . . spit on
. . . peed on or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I had complete control of my mind . . . my thoughts . .
. my body . . and my mind.
. . . I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I never held down a screaming child so that doctors
could do tests or give shots.
. . . I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
. . . I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
. . . I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I never held a sleeping baby just because I
didn't want to put it down.
. . . I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
. . . I never knew that something so small could affect
my life so much.
. . . I never knew that I could love someone so much.
. . . I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I didn't know the feeling of having my heart
outside my body.
. . . I didn't know how special it could feel to
feed a hungry baby.
. . . I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
. . . I didn't know that something so small could
make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom . . .
. . . I had never gotten up in the middle of the
night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.
. . . I had never known the warmth . . . the joy . . .
the love . . . the heartache . . .
the wonderment . . . the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much . . .
. . . before I was a Mom.

(Author - Unknown)