It's the tolerance that allows you to appreciate the other person. And its the respect for each other that can make you fall in love.
But until then, at least I know exactly what I want.
All you niggaz talkin bout bounce that ass this aint no free show we
want the motherfuckin cash hoe fuck your weed don't want no drank
don't
even thick that you can't fuck me you got enough to even touch me I seen
yo stuntin in Benz but them broads know its for your motherfuckin
friends wanna be balla nigga your ho you clain playa still gettin
fronted dope callin us freaks,but your the freaky one tounge lickin on
my pearl like a stick to a snare drum until I cum all in ya fuckin face
floss ya teeth with my pussy hairs,and than I'm outta there I cares a
fuck bout how you feel but I will slip a mickey in yo drank getcha
getcha out your dope and your bank leave ya stank my cuz I aint the hoe
to shake my ass at the club for you negros I can't stand a motherfucka
talkin shit when he knows he gets spung when the pussy lips drip that
lil dick yea you call me bitch but I wander why you still try to sweat
me trick impress me trick now aint that a trip you niggaz try to flip
the script but still aint sayin shit you niggaz call your selves pimps
and try to spit the game but your to lame for aTRU bitch.
From: Freak Hoes- Mia X
You know lil' mama ain't with that quick shit
You better break me off stiff tongue or stiff dick
One minute, two minutes, three minutes
Hell naw, to please me you gotta sleep in it
I see you talk a good game and you play hard
But if I put this thing on ya, can you stay hard?
If not, you better keep your day job
Cause I'm looking for a man to make me say God (GOD!)
I'm off glass and you know this
I'll work your ass out like aerobics
So baby stay focused
Start off slow and then speed it up
Baby show me what you got, is you a G or what?
If you can't beat it up then eat it up
Put a cherry on top, whip cream it up, What?
from -One Minure Man-Trina
Does she work that body?
Throw that ass like pu-pump-pump-pu-pump that hottie
Do she handle it like she got a deep throat?
I mean suck that cock 'til she start to choke
Does she like to have sex high off the X?
Try it with me and tell me who's the best
Does she like to wear thongs that you can eat?
Do she fuck your brains out 'til you fall asleep?
Is she drop-dead fine?
Does she like it from behind?
Is she fly?
Do she got a style like mine?
Does she slurp it, rub it, jerk it, ride it?
Tell you how you feel when you inside it
You love me, and I know she know
Cuz everytime I come around, she be like 'let's go'
Girls know not to leave they man around me
I get my hands on 'em
He puttin' rent and a Benz on me
Lil Kim - Bet you she dont Love* you
The first guy claims he was the drunkest, claiming, " I walked straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I walked through the door I blew chunks."
To wich the secong guy replied...
"you think thats drunk? I got into my car,got out of the parking lot and wrapped my car against the first tree I saw. I dont even have insurance!"
And the third guy proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got into a big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over, and burnt the whole house down!"
There was a silence for a moment and the first guy exclaimed,"Listen, guys, I dont think you understand...Chunks is my dog."
The AT&T penis
:Reach out and touch someone
The Alka Seltzer Penis:
POP,POP, FIZZ, FIZZ.......Oh what a relief it is...
The ALSTATE Penis:
Your in good hands
The BACARDI Penis:
Taste the feling.
The BEEF penis:
Its whats for dinner.
The BIG RED penis:
Its longer with big red
The BUD LITE penis:
great taste less filling
The CAMBELL'S SOUP penis:
mmm mmmmm good
The CAPTAIN PLANET penis:
Go PENIS!!!!!
The CHARMIN DOUBLE ROLL Penis:
It last longer because it is longer.
The CHEVY TRUCK penis:
Like a Rock!
THE CITIBANK VISA penis:
its everywhere you want to be.
The DAIRY QUEEN penis:
Hot eats, cool treats
The DIET COKE penis:
Just for the taste of it...
The DOMINOS PIZZA:
Delivers in 30 minutes or less
The EDGE SHAVING CREAM penis:
ultimate closeness,ultimate comfort.
The EGGO penis:
leggo my penis
The EQUAL penis:
Tastes like sugar
The GENERIC penis: one size fits all
The HEINZ penis:
Good things come to those who wait
The JUICY FRUIT penis:
The taste is gonna move ya.
The LIFE penis:
Mikey likes it
The MICRO MACHINES penis:
A whole world, in the palm of your hand
The MILK penis:
Got penis?
The PAYDAY penis:
Its almost totally nuts!
The PRINGLES penis:
Once you pop....You can't stop
The RAGU penis:
comes out chunkier than the rest
The SECRET penis:
Strong enough for a man, PH balanced for a woman
The SKITLES penis:
Taste the penis
The SNICKERS penis:
It satisfies you.......Why wait?
The SPRITE penis:
obey your penis
The STARBURST penis:
The juice is loose.
The TOMBSTONE penis
What would you like on your penis?
The TOYOTA penis:
I love what you do for me
The TWIZZLER penis:
makes mouths happy
You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I love you" or "Here's fifty dollars, Ma'am."
You don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff.
Cause everybody's doin'it, all across the land.
Masturbators of America, Give yourselvess a hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and its fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how its done.
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators Of America, give yourselves a hand!
You can do it in the bahroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert, While you watch the Grateful Dead.
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
You attitude will soften,your horizons will expand.
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourself a Hand!
Rellationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% if all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.
Sex:
Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults. Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
Magazines:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
Handwriting:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
Comedy:
Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of the Three Stooges comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite Stooge. The woman will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
Bathrooms:
A man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reached the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
Shoes:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.
Leg Warmers:
Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants. A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."
Going Out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup...
Cats:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Low Blows:
Let's say a man and woman are watching a boxing match on TV. One of the boxers is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee. That must have hurt." The man groans and doubles over, and actually FEELS the pain.
Dressing Up:
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.
Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
Weddings:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".
Socks:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks. Women wear strange socks. Socks that are cut way below the ankles, that have pictures of clouds on them, that have a big fuzzy ball on the back.
Nicknames:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut-Brain and Useless.
Eating out:
.. and when the check comes, Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will always check themselves out in a mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors , spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe Garagiola's head.
Menopause:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction --- he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
The Telephone:
Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks , and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Directions:
If a woman is out driving, and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions. Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there." and, "I know I'm in the general neighborhood. I recognize that 7-11 store."
Admitting Mistakes:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. The last man who admitted he was wrong was General George Custer.
Richard Gere:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.
Madonna:
Same as above, but reversed. Same reason.
Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate.
Plants:
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
Cameras:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course women always end up taking better pictures.
Locker Rooms:
In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room -- sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.
Garages:
Women use garages to park their cars and store their lawnmowers. Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.
Nudity in movies:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
Jewelry:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Hats:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.
Movies:
For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind." For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy."
Politics:
Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do political things such as voting.
Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.
Cheerleaders:
Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American. Male cheerleaders are scary.
Mustaches:
Some men look good with mustaches: Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women who look good with mustaches.
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