"If you want to teach a kid to count, don't give the same allowance."
"It is okay to prepare a sermon if you would prepare a stopping place."
"When a match gets lit, it loses it head - Same with a man."
"Before you retire, watch television in the daytime for two weeks."
"Knowledge without wisdom is dangerous."
"Tears don't always mean compassion. A block of ice weeps."
"Asking too little of God will cause you to have to ask too often."
"Optimists shake hands - Pessimists shake head."
"Polite conversation is not to open your mouth until you have something
to say."
"If every member of this church were just like ME - what kind of a church would this church BE?"
"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'WHAT IS HELL?' Come early and listen to our choir practice"
"Don't let worry kill you - let the church help"
MORE TO FOLLOW.........