"Joshua!"
The familiar sound stopped me in my tracks. I knew the best thing
was to stop now, right where I stood. What unseen danger was
Mother protecting me from this time? I planned to stop anyway. I
always feel something in the air when I know it's time to stop.
Why can't Mother realize I can take care of myself? "Yes,
Mother!"
"I simply want to know where you were going! You don't have
to act like I don't think you can go where you want, I just want
to know."
Who does she think she's fooling? She knows very well I am going
to sit outside the shop with my basket and hope for a few
shekels. What else can I do? The last time I tried to play with
the other kids in the village, she had a fit. You would think I
was a leper the way she acts. We were playing blind man's bluff,
only I didn't need a blind fold. We thought it was great, but she
came out yelling at them. I tried to tell her it was my idea, but
she wouldn't listen. She never listens. When I ask her why I
can't see, she says, "It is God's will. Only He can tell
you." When I ask her "Why can't I learn to make pots
like Father?" she says, "You can't see." When I
ask her "Why can't I talk to the girls down the
street?" she said, "Because." That's all, just
"Because!" What am I supposed to do? Sit around all of
my life wondering why God made it so all I can do is sit around
all of my life wondering why.
"I'm going to sit in front of the shop and watch the pretty
girls go by. What do you think?"
"Just be careful. I love you, Joshua."
"Yes, Mother, I love you too." I just wish you'd let me
alone.
"Joshua." Micah's call rumbled up from what must have
been the deepest voice in all Jerusalem. "Want to go down to
the marketplace? You'll make more for the afternoon. I'm going
down soon. You can come with me."
"Thanks Micah Bar Samuel. Mother wants me to be near the
shop, just in case. I guess I'd better say here." Why didn't
he say “Joshua, would you like to go to the temple with me.
I am going to pray and study the law. You may come to study and
listen, then someday you can celebrate your Bar Mitzvah.”
Why didn't he say, "Come Joshua, we will sit in the
marketplace and listen to the elders and the business and the
talk."
"As you wish Joshua. I’ll talk to your father and maybe
you can join me another day." The tall man bent down to
carefully place a few coins in Joshua's basket and walked off.
"Joshua, hey Joshua! Come with me to the marketplace.
Lazarus has a new donkey. It's supposed to be the biggest one in
the city. Don't you want to come see it... I mean smell it ...
ah...touch it ..."
"It's okay Eleazar, you..."
"I know; you've told me a hundred times, but I'm such a
haystack. Come on; let's go before I say something really stupid.
Here's my elbow; now let's go!"
"Mother, I'm going with Eleazar to the market. He is going
to take me to see Lazarus' new mule. Bye Mother!" On his
feet and down the street, Joshua pretended not hear his mother's
voice.
"Joshua, you get back here this ...Joshua!"
She wasn’t really mad, just talking to herself. "Oh,
why should he stay. He never gets a chance to do things with boys
his own age. Jonathan is so funny about letting him act his age.
I don't know why he won't let Joshua be a boy. Heaven knows
he’ll never be a man like his father.
"Come on Joshua, your mother will catch up with us. Let's
run."
"Right past the baker's and the carpenter's, let's walk. I
love the smell of this place. The quiet aroma of the baker's shop
curling around me like a morning mist and the carpenter's shop;
his shop smells of wood and smoke and oils and men. They all jump
out at me; each one trying to get my attention first."
"Let's go so I don't have to listen to you any more."
"We must be getting closer to the donkey seller's shop, I
smell Lazarus now."
"Don't you mean the donkeys?"
"Donkeys are supposed to smell like that. No, I smell
Lazarus first. Hey, why are you pulling me. I thought we were
going to the donkey sellers, not the Pool. "
"It's nothing, just something in the way."
"You mean someone. I know Sari is here in the marketplace.
You don't have try to protect her from me. What happened was a
long time ago. She doesn't hate me or my father, so let's get
back to the donkey stall."
"Sometimes I just don't know about you. For somebody who's
blind you don't seem to care much about what you are supposed to
do. I couldn't look a girl in the eye if our fathers had done
that to us."
"If you could look her in the eyes, you wouldn't have to
worry. Come on; the new donkey. Good day Sari."
"Good day Joshua Bar Jonathan. How did you... ? I will never
understand how you know I'm here in the marketplace." Sari
tugged at the rope in her hand. "Come on goat. He does that
with everyone, but he knows it’s me half way across the
market place. I wonder if he knows me better because we were
supposed to be married soon. I know our fathers meant well, and I
know that many children are promised at birth, and I know that if
he weren't blind we would have our wedding feast in just a year
or two, and I know that God in his infinite wisdom knows what he
is doing, but it still hurts. I still want to know the joy of
love, and children, and more children, and seeing them have
children and watching my sons in the fields, and hearing them
read from the holy book, and ...oh, why does it have to be this
way." The goat simply bleated back as if to say, "Let's
get going."
Further down the marketplace the boys crossed the door post of
the donkey sellers. "Eleazar, is she pretty?"
"The new donkey is a jack."
"No, I mean Sari. Is she pretty?"
"Oh, I suppose you could say she was pleasing to look
at."
"’Pleasing to look at sounds’ like somebody's
sister, thanks."
"Lazarus, I brought Joshua to feel your new donkey. He
really knows the feel of a good animal. He has eyes in his
fingers."
"Good day boys, but I don't have time to talk with you
today. The centurion wants to see this new donkey of mine. Says
he wants the finest for a Roman officer. I'll be lucky to get
half of my cost for him if the centurion wants him. They never
pay me what my animals are worth, but what is a humble animal
trader to do?"
"Thank you any way Lazarus, and may he hate your donkey and
all your animals from now on."
"Thank you Joshua, and I hope that was a blessing; not a
curse."
The rest of the day passed quietly for Joshua and Eleazar. They
wandered from stall to stall, looking, smelling, touching, and
tasting the rainbow of things in the market; finally, Joshua
stopped in front of the temple for a while before evening
prayers. He always did well that time of day. When Eleazar
brought him home, the sun was dipping behind a cloud for the last
time that day.
"Joshua, where in the name of Moses' beard have you been? I
needed you to sit the shop today while I went out to dig more
clay and you were nowhere to be found." Jonathan's voice had
a hard edge to it. Good thing Joshua had done well in the
marketplace.
"I went to market with Eleazar, Father, and then I stopped
in front of the temple. Look, 15 shekels, 2 denarii, and a silver
piece from Micah."
"I'm glad you did so well, but you still should have been
here at the shop when I needed you. Get ready for dinner."
Joshua crossed to the washbasin to clean the marketplace from his
hands and face. "Joshua," his father continued as he
crossed the room. "There is a new teacher in the area. I
heard of him from your uncle over in Galilee. They say he does
miracles."
"Haven't we gone through that often enough, Father. If El
Shaddai himself were to be in Galilee, I might go, but I'm tired
of chasing after smoke. That's all they ever are, smoke."
Joshua quickly steered the conversation in a totally different
direction. "Father, when are you going to start showing me
how to throw pots on the wheel. I know I could do it. I can feel
it in my hands. I know the rhythm of the wheel, and the shapes of
the pots, and the feel of the cold smoothness of the clay as it
dries, and ..."
"Joshua, there is more to being a potter than just throwing
pots. You have to dig the clay and prepare it for use. You have
to be able to see the colors of the clay to get a beautiful pot.
People who have eyes want pots that look nice as well as hold
water. I'm sorry son, but I can't get your hopes up about being a
potter. Learn to be a good beggar, then you will be able to feed
yourself when your mother and I die. Now finish washing for
dinner. You are late, again."
"Yes, Father." You'd think once he would let me try,
let me show him that I could do it. One of these days, I'll show
him. I'll learn another trade and become rich and famous. I'll
have servants just like the master potter of Jerusalem. I'll even
have Sari for my wife. I'll be the first blind carpenter in all
Israel, and then I'll fly around the sun and make my home on the
moon. At least I'll be a good beggar and give money to Sari
through the temple.
After dinner that night, Joshua went to bed with too much on his
mind. All the sounds and smells and thoughts and dreams struggled
to find a place of quiet in his mind to be ordered away for the
night. Each one found no room for a quiet thought, no room amidst
the sea of what would never be.
© 1998 Laughing Wind Production Company. All rights reserved.
Chapter One
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Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five
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