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Have you ever wondered what Xmas would be like it if were a Jewish holiday?
: LAWS OF XMAS :
I. PREPARING FOR XMAS
1. PREPARATIONS FOR XMAS MUST NOT BEGIN(1) BEFORE THANKSGIVING.(2) THIS APPLIES TO PREPARATIONS WHICH AFFECT THE HOLIDAY MOOD,(3) BUT NOT THOSE WHICH ARE DONE IN PRIVATE.(4)
(1) This contrasts sharply with Shabbos, for the mitzva of honoring Shabbos
applies all week long. For example, if one finds a particularly good food
during the week, one should save it for Shabbos even though it is now only
Sunday and Shabbos is a week away. However, Xmas preparations may not begin
too far in advance, in order to fulfill the dictum, "It's beginning to look
a lot like Xmas."
(2) This is because of the principle that two festive occasions should not
be mixed into each other. Note the decree of the great R.H. Macy, who
established that Santa Claus may not appear in the Thanksgiving Day parade
until after all the other floats have passed.
(3) Such as setting up the Xmas tree (some say even buying one,) or playing
holiday music on the muzak.
(4) Such as buying gifts or buying the Xmas dinner turkey. Cooking the
turkey may not be done before Thanksgiving because it will appear to be a
Thanksgiving turkey.
2. SOME HOLD THAT THE TREE SHOULD BE DECORATED IMMEDIATELY AFTER
THANKSGIVING,(5) BUT OTHERS PREFER TO DECORATE IT AS CLOSE TO XMAS AS
POSSIBLE.(6)
(5) For the mitzva of "adding to the yom tov" by beginning the Xmas season
early.
(6) As it is said, "Do not put off for tomorrow, that which can be put off
for the day after tomorrow."
II. THE TREE
1. ANY SPECIES OF TREE IS KOSHER FOR USE AS A XMAS TREE, PROVIDED THAT IT
HAS NEEDLES AND NOT LEAVES. IN OUR LANDS IT IS CUSTOMARY TO USE A FIR
TREE.(7) IT SHOULD BE REASONABLY FRESH, BUT NOT TOO FRESH, IN ACCORDANCE
WITH THE PRINCIPLE "A XMAS TREE WITH NO FALLEN NEEDLES IS LIKE A SUKKAH
WITH NO BUZZING BEES."
(7) If the lady of the house already has a fur, then any evergreen may be
used.
2. THE TREE SHOULD BE CHOPPED DOWN SPECIFICALLY FOR USE AS A XMAS TREE;
IF IT HAD BEEN CUT FOR LUMBER IT IS INVALID. IF THE TREE WAS CUT FOR
GENERAL DECORATIVE PURPOSES, BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY AS A XMAS TREE, SOME
AUTHORITIES ALLOW IT WHILE OTHERS ARE STRICT. A STOLEN TREE IS NOT VALID
FOR THE MITZVAH.(8) FORTUNATE IS ONE WHO IS ABLE TO CHOP HIS OWN TREE
HIMSELF.(9)
(8) One who cuts his own tree must make sure that he has permission from
the landowner to do so. Ideally, cut only from one's own backyard. A tree
taken from a reshus harabim, such as the county park (which is actually a
carmelis, not a reshus harabim,) is considered as stolen and pasul.
(9) One who is unable to cut his own tree should make sure to purchase it
from a reputable dealer, or one who is certified by a national kashrus
organization.
3. DURING THE SHMITTA YEAR, A JEW MAY NOT CUT THE TREE DOWN, BUT IT SHOULD BE DONE BY A GENTILE. HOWEVER, SINCE THE TREE IS INEDIBLE, THE PROBLEMS OF "KEDUSHAS SHVIIS" WHICH APPLY TO THE ESROG DO NOT APPLY TO THE XMAS TREE.
4. THE TREE MUST BE BRIGHT GREEN. BRIGHT RED, OR A MIXTURE OF GREEN AND
RED, IS ALSO ACCEPTABLE FOR A XMAS TREE(10), BUT BROWN IS NOT. THERE MAY
BE ONE BROWN SPOT NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE TREE,(11) BUT IN THE TOP HALF OF
THE TREE, EVEN ONE BROWN SPOT WILL PASSUL THE TREE. A TRULY PIOUS PERSON
WILL MAKE SURE TO BRING ALONG A XMAS TREE EXPERT WHEN HE GOES TO LOOK FOR
HIS TREE.(12)
(10) Because such trees do not grow red naturally, many Sefaradim adorn the
tree with red poinsettia flowers. Ashkenazim prefer poinsettas.
(11) Or even two, provided they are on opposite sides so they cannot be
both seen at the same time.
(12) But it is more macho to pretend to be an expert and pick the tree out
himself.
5. THE REQUIRED HEIGHT OF THE TREE IS SUBJECT TO MANY RULES. AN INDOOR
TREE MUST BE TALL ENOUGH SO THAT IT REACHES WITHIN 3 TEFACHIM OF THE
CEILING.(13) AN OUTDOOR TREE MUST BE AT LEAST 20 AMOS TALL.
(13) Where local fire codes prohibit the use of such large trees, a smaller
tree - even a bonsai - may be used, provided it has toy people around it
who will make it appear tall.
6. THE LAW IS "ETZ ISH U'BEITO" - ONE TREE FOR A MAN AND HIS HOME. THIS
TEACHES THAT INDIVIDUALS MUST HAVE A XMAS TREE AT THEIR HOME, AND THAT
THE MAIN FUNCTION OF THE TREE IS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE FAMILY, BUT
PUBLIC PLACES ARE EXEMPT. IF ONE WISHES TO PLACE HIS PERSONAL TREE IN A
PUBLIC LOCATION HE MAY DO SO, BUT HE WILL NOT HAVE FULFILLED HIS
OBLIGATION UNLESS IT IS TRULY SEEN BY THE PUBLIC. IN THIS CASE, "SEEN BY
THE PUBLIC" MEANS THAT THE TREE IS LARGE ENOUGH THAT IT IS SHOWN ON THE
LOCAL TV NEWS REPORTS.(14)
(14) This is the origin of the custom of the great tree in Rockefeller
Center, where a shaliach from Lubavitch lights the tree just before sunset
on Erev Xmas, and is then returned to Crown Heights by an NYPD helicopter
in time for the dinner meal.
7. IN RECENT YEARS, THERE HAS BEEN A GREAT CONTROVERSY OVER THE USE OF
MANUFACTURED TREES. L'HALACHA, SOME HOLD THEY ARE PASUL,(15) WHILE OTHER
AUTHORITIES HOLD THEY ARE VALID.(16) L'MAASEH, HOWEVER, EVEN THE LENIENT
OPINIONS HOLD THAT ARTIFICIAL TREES ARE TOO TACKY, AND THUS VIOLATE THE
PRINCIPLE OF "HADAR". BUT IF ONE HAS ALREADY MET HIS OBLIGATION BY
DISPLAYING AT LEAST ONE KOSHER XMAS TREE, HE MAY HAVE ADDITIONAL TREES OF
ANY KIND, NATURAL OR NOT.(17)
(15) Based on the pasuk "Etz chayim hee" ("A tree is alive"), teaching that
even if it looks like a tree, it still cannot be a tree unless it was alive
at some point.
(16) Based on the pasuk "Etz chayim hee" ("It is a tree of life"), teaching
that some trees have life, and others do not necessarily have life.
(17) Similarly, manufactured trees are acceptable in malls, offices, and
other exempt public places.
8. ORIGINALLY, THE LAW WAS THAT THE TREE MUST BE DISPLAYED SO THAT IT WOULD BE VISIBLE TO PASSERS-BY OUTSIDE THE HOME. OVER THE CENTURIES, AS PERSECUTIONS INCREASED, THE PEOPLE INSIDE THE HOME BECAME THE MAIN AUDIENCE. EVEN SO, IT SHOULD BE DISPLAYED IN A PROMINENT AREA OF THE HOUSE, TO SHOW RESPECT FOR THIS MITZVAH. WHEN POSSIBLE, IT SHOULD PREFERABLY BE BY A WINDOW WHERE IT COULD BE VIEWED FROM THE STREET, TO CONTINUE THE ORIGINAL PRACTICE.
III. DECORATING THE TREE
1. AS WITH ALL MITZVOS, THE TREE SHOULD BE TASTEFULLY(18) DECORATED.
POPCORN TASTES EXCELLENT, AND SOME STRING POPCORN TOGETHER (WITH NEEDLE AND
THREAD)(19) TO MAKE LONG CHAINS WHICH ARE WRAPPED AROUND THE TREE.
(18) In order to keep children actively interested and participating in all
the goings-on, "tasteful" is defined by the youngest person in the
household. This generally results in displaying all sorts of holiday
projects in school, no matter how tacky or amateurishly done, giving great
prominence to "artwork" which is normally allowed nowhere but the
refrigerator door.
(19) To remind us of the pasuk, "We're all connected." (Nynex)
2. THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT MINHAGIM REGARDING THE DECORATIONS. THE MORE
DECORATED THE TREE, THE BETTER. ONE MUST BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE THE
DECORATIONS ARE PUT ON SYMMETRICALLY.(20)
(20) This is derived from the law that one's head tefillin must be in the
exact middle of one's head, and the similarity of the words "tefillin" and
"tree fallen".
3. TREE DECORATIONS ARE CONSIDERED "MUKTZA L'MITZVASA", "SET ASIDE FOR
ITS MITZVA", AND MAY NOT BE USED FOR ANY PERSONAL USE UNTIL AFTER XMAS IS
OVER.(21) FOR EXAMPLE, EDIBLE DECORATIONS MAY NOT BE EATEN UNTIL AFTER
XMAS. SIMILARLY, SINCE THEY MAY NOT BE USED FOR PERSONAL USE, ANY
DECORATIONS WHICH FALL FROM THE TREE ON SHABBOS OR ON YOM TOV MAY NOT BE
REPLACED(22) UNTIL AFTER SHABBOS OR YOM TOV.
(21) See Siman 9 below for opinons regarding when Xmas actually ends.
(22) Or even handled.
IV. GIFTS
1. ONE IS OBLIGATED TO BUY PRESENTS, REGARDLESS OF HIS INCOME LEVEL, FOR EVERY PERSON THAT HE HAS EVER SPOKEN TO IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE AND THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS. ONE MAY GO INTO SERIOUS DEBT IN ORDER TO CARRY OUT THIS MITZVAH. PRESENTS MAY BE EXCHANGED AT ANY CONVENIENT TIME DURING DECEMBER UP UNTIL THE 25TH.
2. REGARDING A CHILD WHOSE BIRTHDAY OCCURS ON OR AROUND XMAS, SOME SAY TO
GIVE HIM A DOUBLE PORTION OF GIFTS,(23) AND OTHERS SAY TO GIVE HIM A
SINGLE PORTION.(24) SOME RESOLVE THIS BY GETTING HIM A NORMAL NUMBER OF
GIFTS, BUT THEY WOULD BE DOUBLE IN SIZE OR VALUE.(25)
(23) Which may cause others to feel cheated.
(24) Which will surely cause him to feel cheated.
(25) Another idea has been to celebrate "Xmas in August". See Rabbi
Edward's opinion below, in section 9:2.
V. THE OFFICE PARTY
1. "WHEN DECEMBER ARRIVES, OFFICE PRODUCTIVITY DECREASES".(26) BEGINNING
AT 9:00 AM ON THE MONDAY PRIOR TO XMAS, ALL REAL OFFICE WORK STOPS.(27)
IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN THE ILLUSION OF DOING REAL WORK, EMPLOYEES BUSY
THEMSELVES WITH TASKS SUCH AS THE COMPANY NEWSLETTER, OR PLANNING THE
OFFICE "HOLIDAY PARTY".
(26) As it is said, "It's a slow time of year."
(27) When that Monday is Erev Xmas itself, this work stoppage is moved up
to the preceding Monday.
2. IT IS A REQUIREMENT THAT ALL COMPANIES CONDUCT AN ANNUAL "HOLIDAY
PARTY" EACH YEAR. THIS HAD BEEN CALLED A "XMAS PARTY" UNTIL 1972, WHEN
THE SUPREME COURT RULED IT TO BE A DISCRIMINATORY NAME. THE TERM "HOLIDAY
PARTY" WAS ENACTED IN ORDER TO MAKE NATIVE AMERICANS, ASIANS, AND
MUSLIMS(27a) ALL FEEL EQUALLY UN-AMERICAN.
(27a) When Ramadan is not in December.
3. THE "HOLIDAY PARTY", IN ORDER TO BE DONE PROPERLY, REQUIRES A GREAT
DEAL OF RITUAL DRINKING AND DEBAUCHERY. "AD'LOYADA" - ONE MUST DRINK AND
CONTINUE DRINKING UP TO(28) THE POINT HE CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN HIS FAT DUMPY WIFE AND HIS GORGEOUS 22 YEAR-OLD BLOND
SECRETARY.(29)
(28) In this case, "up to" means "ad v'lo ad b'clal" - "up to but NOT
including" the point when he cannot tell the difference. Once one has
reached this point he is excused from further drinking. See next note for
more details.
(29) The example above presumes that he is a male, and his secretary is a
female. However, if his secretary is male, and he has reached the point
where he cannot tell the difference between his fat dumpy wife and his
handsome 22 year-old blond male secretary, then he is forbidden to drink
any more alcohol until Purim.
4. ALL BANKS AND OFFICES MUST CLOSE AT NOON(30) ON THE 24TH OF DECEMBER
SO THAT EVERYONE MAY BE ABLE TO GET HOME IN TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THE LAST
MINUTE PREPARATIONS.
(30) Retail establishments remain open until 4 PM on Erev Xmas, and Toys
'R' Us until midnight. Denny's never closes.
VI. THE FESTIVE MEAL
1. AFTER TZEIS HAKOCHAVIM, THE FAMILY GATHERS TOGETHER FOR THE EREV XMAS
MEAL. THERE ARE VARIOUS OPINIONS AS TO WHAT IS TO BE EATEN AT THIS MEAL.
ONLY FISH IS TO BE EATEN AT THE EREV XMAS MEAL.(31) ITALIANS HAVE THE
MINHAG OF EATING 12 FISHES(32) AT THIS MEAL CORRESPONDING TO THE 12 DAYS
OF XMAS.
(31) When Erev Xmas is on Friday, and the seudah coincides with the first
Shabbos meal, only gefilte fish may be used.
(32) Even on Shabbos, one can easily reach 12 different kinds of gefilte
fish: Rabbi Yosi HaGlili said, How can we show that four different fishes
can make twelve different dishes? Because we ate four different fishes in
Egypt, (whitefish, pike, carp, and whitefish-pike,) but we are now able to
buy them three different ways. We can buy them ready-to-eat in jars, frozen
in loaves, or ground raw at the fish store. Now, it follows that if there
were four different species, then there are 12 different gefilte fishes.
Rabbi Eliezer said, How can we show that each of the twelve fishes is
actually eight dishes? Because they can be made with or without salt, with
or without sugar, and with or without matzo meal, and there
are eight combinations of those three options. Thus, if there are twelve
fishes that can be prepared eight ways, then there are a total of 96
dishes! Rabbi Akiva said, How can we show that each of the twelve fishes is
actually sixteen dishes? Because each of Rabbi Eliezer's eight recipes can
be made either cooked or baked. Thus, if there are twelve fishes that can
be prepared sixteen ways, then there are a total of 192 dishes!
2. ONCE THE MEAL IS COMPLETE, THE FAMILY GATHERS IN THE ROOM WITH THE
TREE WHERE THEY SING ZEMIROS AND DRINK EGGNOG.(33) AT MIDNIGHT THE FAMILY
HEADS TO SHUL FOR TIKKUN CHATZOS. SOME OPINIONS SAY THAT TIKKUN CHATZOS
CAN BE SAID AS EARLY AS 8:00 PM,(34) BUT IT IS GOOD TO BE STRINGENT ON
ONESELF.
(33) Eggnog being a milchig drink, some hold that this is the real reason
for eating fish instead of meat.
(34) So that the children will be awake.
VII. SANTA CLAUS
1. FOR MANY YEARS, THE EXISTENCE OF SANTA CLAUS WAS A SUBJECT OF INTENSE
MACHLOKES IN THE ADULT COMMUNITY. IN 1897, A TEAM OF INVESTIGATIVE
REPORTERS WAS COMMISSIONED BY ONE VIRGINIA O'HANLON TO RESOLVE THE
QUESTION. THEIR FINDINGS, CONCLUDED "YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA
CLAUS."(35) THIS WAS REAFFIRMED SEVERAL DECADES LATER IN A COURT CASE
BROUGHT IN NEW YORK COUNTY SUPREME COURT.(36)
(35) New York _Sun_, September 21, 1897
(36) Testimony from the United States Post Office proved to be crucial in
deciding this case, as documented in _Miracle_on_34th_Street_, 1947.
2. IT IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN TO LIGHT ANY KIND OF FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE
ON THIS EVENING.(37) THOSE WHO WANT TO ROAST CHESTNUTS ON AN OPEN FIRE
SHOULD USE A BARBECUE.
(37) DUH! (But see also below, note 39)
3. TO DEMONSTRATE OUR FAITH(38) IN SANTA, EACH YEAR WE LEAVE HIM A PLATE
OF DONUTS OR COOKIES ON A TABLE NEAR THE TREE, WITH A GLASS OF MILK TO
DRINK. SOON AFTER THIS PRACTICE BEGAN, CHILDREN BEGAN TO QUESTION WHY THE
MILK WAS STILL ON THE TABLE THE FOLLOWING MORNING, SO THEIR PARENTS
ADOPTED THE MINHAG OF DRINKING THE MILK AFTER THE CHILDREN WENT TO BED.
HOWEVER, JUST THREE YEARS AGO,(39) WHILE DELIVERING HIS GIFTS, SANTA
ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED TO A YOUNG GIRL THAT HE SUFFERED FROM LACTOSE
INTOLERANCE, AND THAT THIS IS WHY THE MILK HAD BEEN LEFT UNDRUNK ALL
THOSE YEARS. THE FOLLOWING YEAR, SHE LEFT HIM A GLASS OF PAREVE SOYBEAN
"MILK", AND THIS PRACTICE HAS SPREAD FAR AND WIDE SINCE THEN. (IN
COMMUNITIES WHICH ACCEPT THE USE OF GOVERNMENT SUPERVISED MILK IN LIEU OF
RABBINIC CHOLOV YISROEL, LACTAID MILK IS USED INSTEAD.)
(38) "I believe with complete faith that he knows if you've been bad or
good, so be good for goodness sake." Ani Maamin #11, daily siddur.
(39) _The_Santa_Clause_, by Tim Allen, produced by Walter Disney, 1994.
This film also showed Santa's new fire-resistant suit which was developed
just that year. Nevertheless, the principle is that a protective measure is
not abandoned even if the reason no longer exists, and so the ban on
lighting fireplace fires remains in full force.
VIII. OTHER MINHAGIM
1. ONE IS TO RISE EARLY ON THE MORNING OF THE 25TH IN ORDER TO OPEN THE PRESENTS. THERE IS A SEUDAS MITZVAH WHICH MUST BE COMPLETED BEFORE SHKIA.
2. MEAT AND WINE MUST BE SERVED AT THIS MEAL. LOTS ARE DRAWN TO CHOOSE A DESIGNATED DRIVER WHO MAY NOT HAVE ANY WINE.
3. THE MEAT MAY ONLY BE ROASTED. ONE MAY NOT EAT ANY BOILED OR BROILED MEAT AT THIS MEAL.
4. AFTER THE MEAL, MANY HAVE THE CUSTOM TO RETIRE TO THE FAMILY ROOM TO WATCH SPORTS ON T.V.
5. KIDDUSH IS NOT RECITED ON XMAS, BUT ONE SHOULD DEFINITELY HAVE SOME HOLLY.
IX. HAVDALA
1. THERE ARE MANY OPINIONS REGARDING WHEN THE XMAS SEASON IS OVER.(40)
BAIS HILLEL HOLDS THAT XMAS IS OVER WHEN THE LAST ITEM IN THE AFTER XMAS
SALE HAS BEEN SOLD. BAIS SHAMMAI IS STRICT AND HOLDS THAT XMAS IS OVER
IMMEDIATELY AT THE CONCLUSION OF THE FOOTBALL GAME.
(40) Many are confused by the term "twelve days of Xmas", implying that the
Xmas continues until and including January 5. Today, this view is accepted
only by the Eastern Orthodox, who hold that December 26 through January 5
constitute Chol Hamoed Xmas. This view is opposed by both the Modern
Orthodox and the Ultra Orthodox (and even the Non Orthodox) who hold that
Xmas is only one day long, and any context which seems otherwise actually
refers to the Xmas *season*.
2. WALLED CITES CONTINUE XMAS UNTIL THE END OF THE WINNING TEAM'S TICKER-TAPE PARADE. A RECENT ACHARON, RABBI EDWARD, CELEBRATED XMAS IN AUGUST; FOR THIS HE BECAME KNOWN AS "CRAZY EDDIE".
X. HAGADA FOR XMAS
This is the fruitcake of our affliction, which our ancestors baked 400
years ago.
All who are in need, come and celebrate Xmas with us.
All who are hungry, come and partake of this 400-year-old fruitcake, as it
is written, "Let them eat cake!"
This year we watch football in the living room, next year may the Super
Bowl come to our city!
Some have the minhag to place the gift-wrapped presents under the tree so that they will pique the curiosity of the children so that they will ask the four essential questions:
The Four Questions
We were slaves to our employers, working seven days a week with no benefits, and then the unions were organized, and decreed a five-day workweek and many holidays in the end of the year. Now if the unions had not gotten their act together, then we, and our sons, and even our grandsons, would still have to work on Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Years. But our daughters and granddaughters still await their salvation.
There are four types of children who ask questions on Xmas: the wise one, the bad one, the simple one, and the one who does not know to ask.
If we would have stockings hanging from the fireplace, but not get today off from work, it would have been enough.
If we would get today off from work, and not get off on Erev Xmas as well, it would have been enough.
If we would get off on Erev Xmas as well, but not get presents, it would have been enough.
If we would get presents, but not a delicious dinner, it would have been enough.
If we would have a delicious dinner and no dessert, it would have been enough.
If we would have dessert, but not watch the football game, it would have been enough.
If we would watch the football game, but not see our team win, it would have been enough.
If we would see our team win, and have a hangover the next morning, it would have been enough.
(Pick up the eggnog and say:) But we do have a beautiful tree, and we have stockings hanging from the fireplace, and we got today off from work, and we got off on Erev Xmas as well, and we got presents, a delicious dinner, and dessert, and we watched the football game, and saw our team win, and so we will now toast our team, and pray that we do not get a hangover tomorrow morning: "Yay team!"
Next year is Purim!
Who knows one?
I know one!
One is a partridge in a pear tree.
Who knows two?
I know two!
Two are the turtledoves, and
One is a partridge in a pear tree.
Who knows three?
I know three!
Three are the french hens!
Two are the turtledoves, and
One is a partridge in a pear tree.
Who knows four? I know four! Four are the calling birds! ...
Who knows five? I know five! Five are the gold rings! ...
Who knows six? I know six! Six are the geese a-laying! ...
Who knows seven? I know seven! Seven are the swans a-swimming! ...
Who knows eight? I know eight! Eight are the maids a-milking! ...
Who knows nine? I know nine! Nine are the drummers drumming! ...
Who knows ten? I know ten! Ten are the pipers piping! ...
Who knows eleven! I know eleven! Eleven are the ladies dancing! ...
Who knows twelve?
I know twelve!
Twelve are the lords a-leaping!
Eleven are the ladies dancing
Ten are the pipers piping
Nine are the drummers drumming
Eight are the maids a-milking
Seven are the swans a-swimming
Six are the geese a-laying
Five are the gold rings
Four are the calling birds
Three are the french hens
Two are the turtle doves and
One is a partridge in a pear tree.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer,
My father bought for two zuzim.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer.
Then came a cat and ate the reindeer
My father bought for two zuzim.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer.
Then came a dog and bit the cat,
That ate the reindeer,
My father bought for two zuzim.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer.
Then came a stick and beat the dog,
That bit the cat that ate the reindeer
My father bought for two zuzim.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer.
Then came a fire and burned the stick, ...
Then came the water and quenched the fire, ...
Then came an ox and drank the water, ...
Then came a shochet and slaughtered the ox, ...
Then came the angel of death and killed the shochet, ...
Then came the Blessed Holy One and slew the angel of death,
That killed the shochet that slaughtered the ox
That drank the water that quenched the fire
That burned the stick that beat the dog
That bit the cat that ate the reindeer
My father bought for two zuzim.
One little reindeer, one little reindeer.
If you are interested in seeing some other works, mostly serious Torah throughts, by this same author, please check out the following link. Links to pieces by Akiva Miller.
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