One day, Justin dies and finds himself in hell. As he is
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a
demon:
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Justin: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of
fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Justin: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On
Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila,
Guinness, wine coolers, diet Coke... we drink till we throw
up and then we drink some more.
Justin: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Justin: You better believe it.
Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get
the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our
friggin' lungs out. You cant get cancer,... you're already dead.
Justin: Golly!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Justin: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a
pai gow poker table.
Justin: Gosh, I never played pai gow before...
Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Justin: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..
Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself
to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you
overdose, it's okay... you're already dead.
Justin: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon: You gay?
Justin: Uh, no.
Demon: Oooh. You're gonna hate Fridays
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