Journal entries for the month of December, 1999

December 9, 1999

    Well, this week I had a gain of 1.5 pounds. (It had to catch up to me eventually and boy am I glad that it did!)  I did have the vegetable soup for lunch daily the first half of the week. I found that I felt more satisfied with it when I ate it with toast. Later in the week I got a little carried away with myself and ate too much (a few points over each day) and drank too little water - did I mention that I didn't exercise those days?) Soo, I didn't do the best I could.  I started the week with a new longing to be on track and to keep working toward my ultimate goal of being a healthier, happier woman. I know that I am in complete control of that situation and if I want it, I have to go and get it by myself.  That may be the hardest part of sticking to a program, realizing that you and only you are in control. 
     I lived so many years of my life pretending that I was not in control of so many things - that there was someone or something else making all those decisions for me. I can't live that way any more.  I have to choose what I want for myself, and then decide if it is important enough to me to act on it. If I don't make that choice, or follow through with the actions necessary to make that decision a reality, I have no one to blame but myself. Such a simple concept, so many years to really grasp it and take it to heart!
     The last few weeks I have promised myself to be completely on track and to do it all and do it all well.  This week I am only making myself 2 promises - small but in a way the biggest I have made myself yet.  Not to journal, not to drink my water, eat my soup, to exercise or even to stay inside my points range. This week I promise to --
     1) To keep my ultimate goal in mind at all times
     2) To really think about my choices and decisions before making them, but moreover to take complete responsibility - not only for the decisions that I will make, but for any and all consequenses of those decisions.
     To me this means - if I don't exercise because I don't have time? I didn't make time. If I go over points because I miscounted? I chose not to count more carefully.  If I eat way to much because I am stressed out? I chose to deal with my stress improperly.
   I am also posting this same challenge -- to each and everyone of you -- Keep your goal in mind and make the best decisions you can for yourself, but no matter what your decisions are, take complete responsibility for those decisions and their consequenses!
   If you are willing to take this challenge, please email me with "challenge" in the subject line. Include the name you would like me to use and I will post a list of all those who accept my challenge!
    I hope that you all have a blessed week filled with joy ~~ God Bless~~
    Chel

December 2, 1999

    The time just flies by! I know, I say that first thing in every journal entry -- but I  just can't believe that it has been another week - in this case 2!  I lost 2 pounds this last week - much to my own suprise! With the Thanksgiving holiday I felt like I ate all week!
     I am going to try something new this week, and that is to eat the "free" weight watchers veggies soup for lunch each day this week. (veggies in chicken broth and water) I find I am a little more filled by it if I eat it with a piece of toast.  I have found that the last few days since I have been having the soup for lunch that I am having a much easier time staying in my point range, and strangely it seems as if maybe I am craving less junk. I did have an intense craving the other day -- for an apple - a cold and juicy apple -- go figure!!
      I have to race off to work -- I hope that you all have a very successful week!

                  Chel

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