Journal entries for the month of May, 1999

May 27, 1999

Well it looks like the week panned out ok after all! I lost 1.75 pounds! I am feeling more motivated than I was a couple weeks ago - I guess that will just be part of this whole process.  Feeling motivated, then not. It was still relatively easy to stay on program the last couple weeks. There were a couple days when I really didn't do that well, but even when I wanted to quit for just a day, I just couldn't!

This next week holds its own new challenges! Last night was a big one! After my weigh in I had to go to work, where we were having a goodbye dessert potluck for a coworker. I had very low points all day and then used all my points (maybe plus a couple, or maybe not) on desserts!   So, I had 9 points of "real" food and 20 of dessert. Now, I do realize that this is NOT a healthy diet. I also realize that it was a once in a blue moon thing.  I felt really good about how I did, I knew that I would not be able to resist all the goodies, so I tried to make it easy on myself!  I took a small piece of everything I wanted to try. (Just 3 - 4 bite size piece )  There was one dessert I took some of that was good, but just wasn't good enough, so I didn't eat it.   A little later someone brought out a lemon merangue pie - which I LOVE so I had a regular size piece of that.  It was to die for!  I wiped my slate clean and started fresh with nothing saved and nothing owed this morning - and it feels good. I know I did well because I don't feel guilty!

I am looking forward to having a good week, I know I can do it! We leave for our trip to Disney World in just 25 days - I do worry about that! I am hoping that I can make it through 6 days of probably high fat days without going up over 200 again.  I do anticipate some gain ~ but how often do I plan on going there any way? At this rate, once every 28 years!  I am going to do my best to keep track of points while I am there.  My current minimum is 22, max 29. I am going to try to stay within that range, however, when on maintainence, you raise your points by 4, so if it is too difficult I will do my very best to stay under 33 a day. That seems reasonable.   I know that no matter what happens,  I will get beyond it again.  You all have a great week!

May 20, 1999

Hi all! This week was a great one for me! I lost 2 pounds which dropped me below 200 pounds for the first time in over 5 years. I was nervous about weighing since I had been so good over the last couple weeks and had not much of a loss.  I was soo happy when I weighed in!

I have been telling myself for years (literally) that the day I get below 200 again, I am going to go have myself the biggest and most decadent hot fudge sundae the world has ever seen and not feel a bit guilty about it! Well, I just had to laugh, because that was the very last thing I wanted! Instead I went and bought myself some clothes. I bought a pair of slacks and a pair of jeans - in a size 18, which felt sooo good! The last time I bought jeans and slacks I bought 22's - knowing full well that I should have bought 24's. I also bought a couple of cute tops that I would have never worn 32 pounds ago.

This next week I know will be a rough one. That time of the month will be here, and I always want to eat, eat, eat, and EAT!!  So, I am going to try really hard to stay in control of that - darn those female hormones!  My plan is to plan out what I will have each day, with lots of low point munchies - including both sweet and salty. I am hoping to get exercise in atleast 4 days.  I have not yet seen a gain at this time of the month, but it would be a bummer especially this time, because it would push me back up over 200 again.

Good luck to all this week, and remember, if you are feeling discouraged, look ahead not behind, at where you can go rather than where you are coming from.  To quote the WW book - "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got!"

May 17, 1999

Hi all! This weeks weigh in was a bust. No loss, no gain. I was feeling a bit discouraged at first, but now I am not. I know that there are going to be plateaus and sometimes gains, and I know that I will make it eventually.  Sometimes I just want to wake up at goal weight and forget the entire process!  I am back to feeling ok about it, and trying really hard (well, trying) to be op so that I will show some kind (any) of a loss when I weigh in this next thursday.  It can be easy to get discouraged, but with the support of my friends and family, I am also finding it easy to get back on track!  I will undoubtedly be back with another report come thursday!  

By the way -- sweet treat of the week? Dairy Queens fudge bar!  1 point - and very delicious!  Also their raspberry and orange bars are also just 1 point -haven't tried them yet though, I am still hung up on the fudge bars!

May 6, 1999

Ha ha! Thought I would throw you all for a little loop with something new! This has a nice and fresh look! Last week I had a really good week, I am not sure why, but I did really well! I walked every single day, one day I went twice! I did very well staying in my point range and I was sure that when I weighed in I would have lost "well".

When I went and weighed in I was so  surprised! I lost half a pound! I certainly wont complain, because I know that I am doing well, but I must admit that I was disappointed. I had the best week ever, and only lost half a pound! I was so suprised, I actually said "That's all??"  Pam, my WW leader was so sweet, she told me that I was doing great and I should be  proud. She reminded me that last week I had a large loss because I had been sick. She told me that usually when you have a large sick loss, that some of it is gained back.  I realize that had I not worked really hard last week, I would have had a gain.

I am now at 201.75, and I am really proud of that because it is less than I have weighed in a really long time. (Like 5 years).  As soon as I get below 200 I will be in a new point range. I am hoping to get there next week, but I am not going to sweat it if I dont because I know that I will get there sooner or later!

I am enjoying the changes that I am noticing everyday now. My wedding ring twists and turns around my finger, and soon I will be afraid to wear it for fear that it will fall off and get lost.  I can no longer wear my jeans that were too tight because I cant keep them up! The only pair I have to wear right now is a pair that used to get stuck at my hips, I couldn't even get them up!!! Now, not only do I wear them, but they are also getting to be loose, I am going to have to start wearing a belt with them so they will stay up too!!! Although I still have my tummy, the "love handles" on the sides are almost all gone! These are all things that are helping me to know that I can make it, and help keep me inspired to continue on. 

I hope that everyone has a great and on track week, good luck to you all, see you next week!

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