Sex in Palladium Games:

Jokes and Sick Humor



Altara Warriors do it with their eyes closed.

The reason that the Splugorth breed Altara blind is so that the Slaver will have companions that can't tell how ugly they are.

Thieves do it in leather.

Assassins do it from behind.

Wizards do it with their hands and mouth.

Is that a laser pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

What is a "Headhunter" really after?

Druids do it in the woods.

Rangers do it in the bushes.

Ogres do it with stone clubs.

Cyber-Knights do it in their dreams.

Vampires do it in the dark.

Illusionists do it by themselves.

Necrophim do it in chains.

Q: Would sex between a wolfen and a human be considered bestiality?
A: Only if they do it doggy-style.

What is the age of consent for a dragon? I shudder to think what their "early" years must be like if, like most species, they don't reach sexual maturity until adulthood.

Q: What is the base skill percentage for Foreplay?
A: 69%

Do Dog Boys and Girls really do it doggy-style?

What happens if the metamorphosis of a dragon in human form runs out during sex with a real human?

Q: In the Jucer army, Who has to clean out the cod pieces on the vibro-spike armor?
A: The Wannabes--which is just one more reason not to play one. "Here's my character concept: I want to be a masochistic drug addict who has devoted his life to catering to the whims of other, more dangerous, sadistic drug addicts. I want to name him Marion Berry."

Wouldn't it be frustrating to play a full 'borg? After all they can live up to 300 years, but can't ever have sex again. (Unless someone wants to do stats on cyber-.... Well, that's a little too far :-)
But then, there's always cloning or bio-systems...

Glitter Boys are into serious protection: "Gold plated, laser-restant, and it's ribbed!"

Then there's the Freudian interpretation of a "Boom Gun"...

Wouldn't creatures with supernatural PS have to make a serious pull punch roll to have sex with an SDC creature, or else turn his partner into jelly?
For more on this topic, see the hilarious article "Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue" by author Larry Niven.

The same would have to apply to creatures from HU with supersonic speed, but only to prevent 3rd degree friction burns. Ouch!

Wouldn't creatures with supernatural PS have to have MDC condoms?

A Splugorth can have an orgy all by itself!

How about a Bio-Wizard Dildo? Or MDC Vibro!

How about a TW vibrator? Runs off PPE (Potential Perverted Energy).

New pick-up line: "Hey babe. Ever done it with a man who's hung like a centaur?"

What was Kevin Long thinking about when he designed every second robot with a penis-gun?
(Examples: The Allosaurus 'bot from South America and the Cyber-Horseman from Conversion Book One.)

What was Kevin Siembieda really thinking about when he created the "Vibro-Blade"?

Anyone ever consider a real cheap way to make pornos in Nightbane? Just have a Mirrormage cast Lesser Scrying Mirror in a hotel room at a hotel known for its... um... lack of discretion. Turn the mirror on, turn your camcorder on, and voila!


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