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Jeff Holt
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EHOWA - The Baddest Fucking Humor Site on the Net!

This site is certified 50% EVIL by the Gematriculator

I am 65% Evil Genius.
Deceitful & Crazy!
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Gallery

I like to think of myself as an artist. I have just discovered Photoshop, and have been doing some experimentation. So I can justify all this in some way, I am publishing the drawings here. Parental Guidance suggested. Click on a picture to see it full size. By the way, these are my drawings, and I have included a little license for people to use them. (Why they would want to is beyond me.)

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.  

Another space ship drawing. I ran across someone on the Web who did a picture of the Super Star Destroyer from Star Wars in a similar view, and thought I could do something like that. Sized for you 800 x 600 desktop. Enjoy!
While I was finishing college and grad school, I began writing a comic strip called "Plainsgiht, Texas." It was a humor strip about a crazy cast of characters in a fictional Texas town. I wrote perhaps 15 stories, and even tried to pencil a half dozen or so. One three part story was called "The Big Adventure." Akina, the Japanese exchange student at PU (Plainsight University) is kidnapped, and Roy, who looks suspiciously like the guy on the home page, rushes off to Japan to rescue her, meeting ninjas, Yakuza, and a hottie named Yoshi. Once I finish chasing the sun, don't be surprised to see "Plainsight, Texas" on the web. I drew this in the late 80s, while I was living in Austin.
Back in the 80s, Hollywood made a movie called "Legend of the Lone Ranger." An attempt to reinvigorate the Lone Ranger franchise, the move sucked so badly that the producers even forced Clayton Moore to stop appearing in public with a mask. While the movie blew, there was a brief newspaper strip that continued the adventures of the Lone Ranger that was pretty good. This drawing was an homage (read "redrawing") of a panel in that strip. I framed it and for years it hung on the wall of every place I lived. I thought I had better save it by scanning it into the computer.
When I was living in Austin, i had the privilege to meet a couple of musicians: Larry Boyd and Jimmy Davis. They had a country band they called "Cookin'." One day Larry showed me his business card and I was appalled. His card showed some guy crawling through a desert with buzzards circling. I went home and drew him a new logo. But for some reason, I never gave it to him.
I have always liked Star Trek, and I grew up drawing space ships. Here is one I designed, based on a design by a friend of a friend.
A friend of mine in middle school, Scott Poehlmann, also created a Star Trek-like series that he called "Trade Vessel." The show would have followed the adventures of a futuristic merchant ship and its crew. Unlike most SF which puts humanity in the lead, Scott's ship, the SS High Sky, was manned by a race called the Venerans, who needed less sleep than humans, were telepathic, and when threatened by a weapon could simply concentrate and make the weapon disappear (I wrote a story where his captain was being placed under arrest, and was told that he would not allow himself to be held at gunpoint, and would will the gun away. Never before or since has his character exhibited that ability. Oh well, it's all water under the bridge.), and whose sun had a ring.While working on a fictionalized comic version of my experiences in Japan, I had one character be a huge fan of this series, and created this pin of the ringed sun of Venera to be worn on the lapel of his jacket.
Somewhere in the back of my mind is a design for what I call a "Master Suite." It is based on the layout of Captain Picard's quarters on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I designed the coffee table to go with the room/ I imagine that the delta sheild and the wings on either side are covered by glass.
This is where the Parental Guidance comes in. After returning from Japan, I continued my correspondance with a hottie there, and hoped to go back, or to get her over here. I drew a pile of drawings for her during the "if it's mant to be, it will happen" phase of our long-distance relationship. I just rediscovered this one. Maybe you could go buy Jerry Jeff Walker's CD, "Hill Country Rain" to understand this one.
This one was inspired by a photo in Penthouse magazine.
Always a fan of spy movies, in my besotted state of affection for the Japanese hottie, I drew this. I called it "I will always protect you." No vomiting in the gallery, please.
This was inspired by a Justice League International cover. Inspired? Hell! I stole it.
I have only seen "The Graduate" once. But that one image of Dustin Hoffman photographed under the woman's leg has stayed with me. This is my version. Notice the background. The caption reads (barf bags not provided) "Everytime my pen touched the paper, I thought of you." *cough* 'Scuse me. I had a little bile in my throat. (People have asked where my romance went. Between this long-distance relationship, and The Bitch in Austin it withered away. Speaking of Dee Glass. . .)
There is a story behind this one. I was dating Dee Glass (or as I have come to call her: The Bitch in Austin) at the time. Long story short: I was in love, she wasn't, but said she was. One time, about '91 according to the date on the signature on this drawing, I hadn't seen her in a month. Sure, I'd talked to her on the phone, and she told me she would like to go out, but there were problems at work, at home, yada yada yada. I drew this and left it on my coffee table for three weeks hoping she would see it. While I was never suicidal, it was a message nontheless. Damn! Now I'm gonna have to drink.
No story behind this one. I just drew it. It has been colored in Photoshop.
I am working on a comic book that fictionalizes my experiences in Japan. While the comic will be in black and white, I wanted to color this one. The first night in Isahaya, the school took Melissa and me (we had arrived before the others) to a Chinese restaurant. This is the outside of the restaurant.
Did I mention that have always been a Star Trek fan? During the days I was dreaming of drawing comic books, I did several sketches in this musclebound style. Lucky you. You get to see them. This drawing is based on a scene in the third season episode "Day of the Dove." I used india ink and water to create the wash effect. As many flaws as I can see in this drawing, it is till one of my favorites.
I don't know if you are aware of this, but I once wrote a story called the "Entellus Dilemma" that was published in a Star Trek fanzine sometime around 1980. While writing the story, I drew a few illustrations to help me focus. I never submitted the drawings, but I did save them. I manipulated this one in Photoshop for the floor and ceiling.

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