| "I'm only charming after the 75th time you meet me." |
 |
| "I hope the food comes soon so we don't have to struggle to make conversation anymore." |
 |
| "Viva la Mexico. I'm gonna help Mexicans get into America." |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| "I'm thoroughly heterosexual." |
| "I don't know what I'd do without my puberty." |
| "Hey Hideyo, wanna date my sister? She's free you know." |
| "Hey, Baylor University's trying to recruit me to go to their law school. But I say, 'Baylor University, get off my jock. There's not enough room!'" |
| "I am the master debater. I masticate quite frequently. Aww yeah." |
| "Tao Ping Kuang." (Response to the question, "Ben, how do you say 'cowboy' in Chinese?") |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
| "That's what Swimsuit Issues are for." (Response to the observation that men and women don't communicate along the same lines.) |
| Honorable Mention |
| The Wise Sayings of Ben Ping Kuang Tao (A Top 10 List) |
 |
| "Man you gotta have some cuh-jones to do something like that." |
| "I wish I had telekinetic powers. That way I'd be able to give people wedgies by going, 'Wooop (with hand moving upward).'" |
| "Hey, if I go to the College of William and Mary, I'll go and own a tobacco plantation and have some slaves." |
| "Ohhh, that test just kicked me in the gonads." |
| "Some people used to call me asshole." (Response to the question, "Ben, did you have any nicknames in high school?") |
|
| Now YOU can choose what makes the Top 10 list! Simply select your 10 personal favorites, check the corresponding boxes, and click the submit button below. |
| The Cowboy Motto: Say stuff & think about the consequences later. |
| "Janet Reno... the man-child." |
 |
 |
 |
| "I think I've crapped every color of the rainbow." |
| "To me, I sound sexy." (Response to the observation that our actual voices sound different from our own perspective.) |
| "I should really stop saying stupid stuff." |
| "I wouldn't mind being alone and stranded on a deserted island as long as I have someone with me." |
| "Kelly, be more careful with my stuff!" (Response to his roommate nearly breaking his ankle because of Ben's mess on the ground.) |
| "This is my Kaplan method. Be smarter. Answer more right. Get better." (Describing what he will be teaching at the Kaplan SAT preparation course.) |
| "I would have used that much anyway." (After wiping the bathroom floor using the paper side of an entire toilet paper roll.) |
| "Shoot... I'll make my own loop." (Response to the observation that at times we aren't part of the in-crowd within our old friends because we didn't keep in touch with them.) |
| "I said that?!?! I'm such a genius!" (After reading this list of quotes on his computer.) |
| "I`m so stressed... sometimes I feel like urinating all over the floor." |
| 26 Quotes to Date |
 |
| "My inner desire is to be a professional athlete of some type. Unfortunately God decided that he wanted me to be Asian." |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| "You're the kind of person who if I didn't know believed in the institution of marriage would be a multiple divorcee." |
