Plot:
At the start of the film a young Billy (Our beloved hero) is training to be a ninja with Gordon (Richard Harrison). During this time Gordon contradicts himself on what a ninja is at least twice. Anyway, when the film starts proper Billy goes back to his home, only to find that the local thugs want rent from his mother, so of course Billy puts his ninja training to work on them. It`s worth noting that NEVER does Billy show any sort of fighting related to ninja, neither does he ever pick up a sword (which his majority of training is done with in the opening,) most of his fighting throughout the film is done with guns, and when he DOES fight bare-handed it looks more like pub-brawling than ninja FLIP-AND-KICK!!
What follows is one tragedy after the other for poor Billy. Constantly tormented by the gang of Larry (who looks sort of like Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective.) Worth noting is that almost everyone in Larry`s gang has a Mexican accent. Is Godfrey Ho trying to tell us that Mexicans are Evil?
… No, perhaps not.
While Billy is battling those villainous Mexicans, Gordon`s being challenged to a fight to the death by the nefarious Ivan the Red for the title of “Most Flamboyantly Dressed Ninja” (Gordon clearly in the lead with his pink ninja suit with the glittery, silver shoulder things.) Gordon refuses to fight Ivan, however, and so Ivan goes around killing other ninja with the acting skills of a boiled coconut, which just goes to show you how bad their acting is seeing as… well… how often do you boil coconuts? Exactly. Anyway, the dastardly Ivan the Red does this in order to coax Gordon into trying to stop him (with some of the funniest acting and most delayed facial expressions ever,) but Gordon doesn`t really seem to care. This sub-plot really has absolutely nothing to do with Billy`s quest for vengeance, but it`s there, and the two plots are barely connected by a thread so thin that you can`t really see it. The thread is pictured below:
Good ninja killings are alright, however.
Although there are better lines than this one, the others just aren`t funny without the dubbing, and so this line takes the biscuit and dunks it in a mug of that funny coffee with the frothy stuff on the top and the little flakes of chocolate: Billy`s girlfriend`s dad (who is also the chief of police) forbids her from ever seeing Billy because, “Ever since Billy got back in town there have been ninja killings – BAD ninja killings,” you know, as opposed to good ones.
Best Scene:
I`m going to have to say the ninja-ending, because I can`t remember all the words from Billy`s confusing and utterly unconvincing speech about love and what it means to be a ninja. Go here for a play-by-play of this scene.
