Quotes that Kick
Sometimes people (or cartoon characters) say things that change your life. Sometimes they say things that make you laugh so hard it leaves a mark. Sometimes they provoke thoughts in you that you would never have thought before. That is why I have selected these kick-ass quotes. UPDATE: Added some new quotes, which are found at the top, and yanked some of the dull ones.

Click here for page two!

"Therapy?! That's your solution to everything these days!" --Jack

"I just had the craziest dream. Let's have a bake sale!" --Space Ghost

"A best friend isn't the one who comes to bail you out when you've been arrested...A best friend is the one sitting in the jail cell next to you saying, 'Holy Shit! That was awesome!' " --unknown

"One time in high school I got the idea that sculpting might be fun. I got some
clay from a friend of mine who was going through a sculpting phase and gave it a
try, sculpting a girl lying on her stomach, resting her chin on her hands.
When I showed it to my mother, she said it was a very nice puppy.
That was the last thing I ever sculpted." --Esyla

"Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful." -- Mae West

"Everyone's entitled to my opinion." -- Madonna

"Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"  -- Phyllis Diller

"If you're all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed."  -- Kate Halverson

"Shut up, KT, you don't like anything fun." --Skylar

"Hot guys DO exist. I've seen them on Abercrombie and Fitch bags." --Jaeline

"I don't give a shit what you want. You're a dancer, you do what I want." --Cooper

"Who am I? I'm Spider-man." --Spider-man

"Man's best friend: his right hand." --Maurice

"You know whats great about this? They can sit there and argue as long as they want and I can just sit here and take a break. Because I don't really care who wins, and the more time they spend arguing the less time we have to spend dancing." --KT (ah, drill team was a fascinating experience indeed)

"Whores get paid, sluts don't. Remember that. I stopped being a slut when I realized all I was getting was lots and lots of sex." --Kraus

"I live under your bed, watching your every move. If you don't obey your parental figures' every whim, I'll attack you in the night and chew on your bones like I would bacon... bacon... BACON! Argh..." --Emerz

“Great Eggplant says: Dance!” --Courage

“There once was an Ugly Barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End.” --Patrick

“That’s just super! Now Zorak’s dead.” --Moltar

“Nyah! Evil!” --Heather

(Referring to Brittany’s broken bracelet) “Let’s all freak out.” --Erik

“Well, you’re just making this S@#! up! Oh, what? You’re the only one that gets to make S#@! up?” --Moltar (and, no, I didn’t edit it; that is the actual quote)

(talking about her supposed wild side) “I got mud all over my knees and I didn’t even care!” --Shana

“That’s a lightswitch… OF TOTAL DEVASTION!” --Thundercleese

“Don’t ask for a bottle of pop or a can of soda, this will cause merciless beatings. Down South its called a Coke, even if you want Pepsi.” --Anonymous

“They got all-you-can-eat birthday cake. Comes with a small Fresca; $2.95.” --Moltar

“I’m really wanting those pants right about now.” --Cale

“Natural Gas: It... gives you some ideas.” --Space Ghost(s)

“That’s the Towelie call?” --Stan (or Kyle. I forget)

“Zim, there’s a pigeon on your head. You’ve got Pigeon-Head. Go to the nurse’s before you get all the other children infected.” --Mrs. Bitters

“I had broken my lungs, that's what it was. And I was in the process of gluing them back together. So there I am, and I start hearing this scary piano music. So I turn around and there's this guy standing there. And he's wearing this mask, and I'm like, 'What's up with that?' And he's got this knife, and he just starts coming at me, and the knife's like going 'Drrrvvv! Drrrvvv! Drrrvvv!” --Moltar

“Creation is normally reserved for gods and poets. To plant a pine one only needs a shovel.” --Aldo Leopold

“Oh, I am such a diva.” --Ryoko

“I said it was dodge ball time, bitch!” --Stormy

“And I am Denis Leary, of course. Master of the universe.” --Denis Leary

“Damn it! I forgot Jesus!” --Brian

K: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"
M: "No. I also regret to inform you that when I don't see you, you really aren't there, and when I sleep the universe disappears." --a conversation held between pandachan’s siblings

“Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to hell.” --Zorakfan

“The chickens are restless and the baloney that beholds the green mold of wisdom seeks the future” --Emerz

“Time is an abstract concept created by carbon based life forms to monitor their own growing decay!” --Thundercleese

“If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one person enjoys it?” --unknown

“Hi! I’m Mike. I’m a razor-toed spine masher. Wanna be pals?” --Mike the razor-toed spine masher

“Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.” --Nydia

“I don’t know what I would do if I was deformed…” --Alicia

“I will unleash the wrath of God on him…” --Marty

“Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes when you are happy, no one sees you smile. But fart just one time..…” --unknown

“I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my other handle. Oh, no… I’m a sugar bowl!” --Josh (his own little twist on a Young Actor’s Guild classic)

“You can ascend my throne…” --William

“Now, I want your balls please.” --Ryoko

"Adultery: It's not just for adults anymore!" --Zorakfan

“I’m KT’s sweet lovin’ strawberry jam honey biscuit!” --William

“This desert reminds me of a woman… It goes on and on and on.” --Freddie

“On the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and are spanked with moon rocks!” --Err

“There’s nothing more dangerous than an emotionally-upset oyster.” --Not Joe, but the other fish

“Chocolate, behave yourself!” --Tira

“I feel empty. I need what you got. I need a woman. Someone that I can sell her organs to Black Sabbath… make me some money.” --Zorak

“Puff the Magic Dragon, if you don’t keep quiet I’m gonna come over there and nail your magic feet to the floor!” --Space Ghost

(how to pay for feng shui) “By selling pot… holders. Made out of hemp.” --Sparks

“Can I help you… To die?!” --Zorak

“Mrs. Bitters, I’ve got a pencil lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse’s office?” --Dib

“For some people, Christmas is about Jesus.” --Mr. Hanky

“Cheerleaders are dancers that have gone retarded.” --choreographer

“Lemony-fresh victory is mine!” --Zim