Things to Know and Do
this is a list of things to know and do all recommended by Maxim magazine, if you have anything to add you can add it here.
(DISCLAIMER:some things on this list arent the best idea so do them at your own peril, they will be the ones listed in red)


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bring a laser pointer to a theatre, and throw it at someone

suffocate an old woman with a pillow

if you don’t already stink, you will eventually. Especially if you’re fat

all bourbons are brown, that’s how you tell them from 7up.

put a hot dog on a stick, it’s a tasty treat!

never bring a beluga to a bear fight

saying “take it straight up” will lead people to believe you are gay

gay dogs aren’t allowed to adopt


here's some seldom used words compliments of maxim, be sure to test them on your parents and others ignorant of this list, it's guarenteed to be a fun time had by all! Enjoy

Bdolotic- Prone to farting

Blissom- To copulate with a ewe

Copernesis- The condition of being so constipated that one vomits one's feces

Dasypygal- Hairy-assed

Gambrinous- Full of beer

Gobbets- Pieces of human bodies that wash ashore from a shipwreck

Irrumate-To insert one's penis into someone's mouth

Jumentous- Smelling of horse urine

Keck- To attempt to vomit without success

Mammose- Having an ample bosom

Meable- Easily penetrated

Meldrop- A drop of liquid suspended at the end of the nose

Mentulate- Possessing a large Penis

Nisus- The exertion involved in defecating

Pilgarlic- A sorry looking bald person

Pizzle- The penis of a bull or other large beast, especially when dried and used to flog people

Plooky- Covered with pimples

Pornocracy- Government run by whores

Potvaliant- Bold or brave when drunk

Pygobombe- A woman with big, sexy buttocks

Scatophage- An eater of excrement

Sharny- Befouled with dung

Smatchet- A small and nasty person

Suggilate- To beat black and blue

In the Collected works section is a story i created with these words.

Alzheimer's disease has reduced the nursing home workload by allowing seniors to hide their own easter eggs.

Bones aren't supposed to stick out of your leg


like to get drunk, but can't stand the taste of the hooch? now you can make your own and party like it's 1099!!Make your own mead!

Life is short, particularly if you are very old, very sick, or starred on Diff'rent Strokes

Sex is like bull riding: it's wild, dangerous and lasts eight seconds