--Jay Leno
Under California election law, virtually anybody can run for governor, except, of course, smokers.
--Dave Barry
Arnold Schwarzenegger has hired billionaire Warren Buffett as his senior economic adviser. Not to be outdone, Gary Coleman announced his senior economic adviser will be Thurston Howell III.
--Conan O'Brien
Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question: "Do I live here?"
--Craig Kilborn
Larry Flynt, the founder of Hustler, he's running for governor. You know what his campaign slogan is? "A smut peddler who cares." Today Bill Clinton said, "Hey, that was my slogan."
--Jay Leno
I love all these politicians. They all say the same thing--"We'll give California back to the people." Yeah, great, now that it's not worth anything, they want to give it back to us.
--Jay Leno
Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and adult film star Mary Carey, they're also running. You know what bothers me about the two of them? See, this could split the all-important porn vote.
--Jay Leno
Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal--change our state bird to the spread eagle.
--Craig Kilborn
Experts say with all the media attention centered on the governor's race, it threatens to turn the Kobe Bryant trial into a dignified proceeding.
--Craig Kilborn
There was also talk of bringing Al Gore to California to help out, but there was concern that Gray Davis and Al Gore in the same state would cause some kind of rolling personality blackout.
--Jay Leno
Republican Congressman Darrell Issa funded the recall campaign with the money he made selling car alarms. So this isn't the first time annoying millions of people for him.
--Craig Kilborn
