A: (laughing) Dude, did you just get your butt handed to you by a bunch of five-year-olds?
V: I most certainly did not!
A: Ah. I must have misinterpreted the way that one kid was kicking you in the stomach while you were down, shouting, "That all you got, Chosen One? That all you got?".
V: They outnumbered me! And caught me by surprise. Yes, that's it. They caught me by surprise. They must have been the advanced class.
A: You just keep telling yourself that...
(Vader rises and departs the room.)
A: Where to now, o mighty warrior?
V: The security room. I need to tweak the video record of that little...incident.
A: You need-? You're going to alter it to look like you killed those kids, aren't you?
V: Hey, I've got a rep to maintain here.
A: You are a sad, sad man. But don't worry...I'll keep an eye out for any toddlers on the way. You'll have time to hide from them.
V: Oh, shut up...
-----------------------
(Vader lies on the operating table, writhing and crying out as the medical droids work on him.)
ANAKIN: You know, it occurs to me that if you hadn't called the doctor's mother a filthy toaster...he might have given you an anaesthetic for all this.
VADER: Aaargh! When will it stop?
A: Suck it up, man. No pain, no gain.
V: Gain?! What could I possibly be gaining here?
A: Well, y'know...you'll be taller now.
V: Oh, that just makes up for the agony, doesn't it?
A: Hey, chicks dig tall guys.
V: And they'll just overlook the hideous burns, right?
A: Well, you'll still be able to dazzle them with your sparkling personali- Okay, maybe you are out of luck. But look at it this way - you've lost all your limbs, yeah. But you won't have to worry about those pesky hangnails anymore.
V: Hm. They were a nuisance...
A: And corns. Bunions. Or that weird fungal thing you had growing between your toes. I don't know what that was all about-
V: I don't want to hear-
A: I mean, how Padme could sleep in the same bed with that is beyond-
V: That's quite enough-
A: You could have scraped it off and sold it as a hallucinogenic-
V: Alright!
A: I'm just sayin', sheesh...
(Later, the mask begins to descend toward Vader. Readouts flash across the inside of the eye lenses.)
A: Oh, sweet! I wonder if you could pick up the Holonet with this thing?
V: Why?
A: Think about it, man. You could be sitting in some boring council meeting, pretending to listen while you're actually watching your shows. Nobody would ever know!
V: I suppose that would be- Aaargh!
A: What?
V: I just remembered...I forgot to record the season finale of Stranded.
A: Dude! We were supposed to find out how the space liner crashed on the island! And what the monster in the jungle is!
V: I know, I know. But I had more pressing concerns. I just forgot all about it.
A: More pressing than Stranded?
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