V: Turning to the dark side, going to Mustafar to kill the Separatists? Hello? A little more important. A: That is a matter of opinion. You're going to be so out of the loop at the watercooler conversation... (The helmet seals up, and a moment later the respirator kicks in with its deep rasp-hiss.) A: That just sounds ominous, doesn't it? V: Hmmm...tastes minty. Quite refreshing, actually. A: 'Cause when you're subjugating the galaxy, it's important to have fresh breath, right? V: Exactly... -----------------
		INSIDE THE OPERATING CHAMBER: (The operation to seal Vader into his armor is complete. The table holding Vader slowly begins to rise.) ANAKIN: Dude. That sucked. Those guys have got to work on their bedside manner. At least, they could have given you a lollipop or something. VADER: Urgh. I hurt. A: Well, duh! V: And I think I need to pee. How do I do that? Is there some kind of receptacle in this suit? I don't see a zipper... A: See, that's the problem with letting droids design your clothes... (The Emperor approaches.) PALPATINE: Lord Vader, can you hear me? V: Yes, Master. Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she all right? PALPATINE: It seems - in your anger - you killed her. V: I...I couldn't have. She was alive. I felt it. A: Wow, bummer, man....But look on the bright side. V: What bright side?! I've just lost the love of my life! A: Yeah, but you've still got me. And I'll be with you forever and ever and ever and ever and- (Items around the room begin to rattle and shatter. Vader breaks free of his restraints and shambles forward.) V: (aloud) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pause) A: I'm sensing a lack of enthusiasm here. ---------------------------------------------------
					ABOVE TATOOINE: (Aboard the Tantive IV, Rebel troops ready themselves as, with a brilliant spraying of sparks, the access hatch is blown open and stormtroopers charge in. Shots are exchanged, the battle rages...and after the fight has moved farther into the ship, Vader steps through the hatchway and looks around at the rebels and stormtroopers sprawled in the hallway.) ANAKIN: Wow. Must have been one hell of a kegger. VADER: Some people just can't hold their liquor, I guess.
			A: So what's the plan? V: Find the Good Guys and crush them in my Iron Grip of Terror. A: Ah. The old classic, huh? V: Why mess with success?
		(A squad of stormtroopers brings a Rebel officer to Vader. Vader grabs him by the neck and starts to interrogate him about the transmissions that were beamed to the ship and the Death Star plans.) A: You know, call me crazy, but- V: You're crazy.     A: Funny. As I was saying, maybe this guy would be a little more cooperative if he wasn't hanging a foot in the air. I mean, have you ever heard the phrase "You can attract more flies with honey than with a Death Grip"? V: You ever heard the phrase "You can kiss my bony white a-" A: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Potty Mouth! No more late-night cable comedy specials for you! home   previous   next