A: Hey, you know, I never thought of that. That is kind of gross, isn't it?
(The Rebel in Vader's grasp gurgles out that his ship's on a diplomatic mission.)
V: (to Rebel) If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?
(Vader tightens his grip on the Rebel's neck; there's a loud snapping and crackling, and he flings the dead Rebel away.)
A: And you wonder why you flunked chiropractor school. Sheesh.
(Vader turns to an Imperial officer)
V: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans, and bring me the passengers. I want them alive!
(Vader storms away.)
A: What do you want the passengers for? I'm sure the guy on the floor back there would be happy to help you out if you give him a second chance. Y'know...after the vertebrae regenerate.
V: Quiet.
A: And the heart starts beating again.
V: Quiet!
A: And the brain functions resume.
V: Have I ever told you how much I truly, deeply hate you?
A: Yep. And it just gets funnier every time.
V: Aaargh!
-----------------
(Onboard the Tantive IV, Leia is escorted into Vader's presence by the squad of stormtroopers that captured her.)
ANAKIN: Hey, she's a cutie. Tell her she's got nice hair.
VADER: Excuse me?
A: Tell her she's-
V: I heard you the first time. But I'm not trying to get a date here. I need information from her.
A: Exactly, and you're not going to get it if you wind up snapping her neck like that last guy. So just try to sweet-talk her into telling you what you want to know.
V: I don't need your advice on how to deal with women.
A: Uh-huh. Because you've had so much experience with them since Padme booted you out.
V: Hey, she didn't boot me. I dumped her.
A: Sure you did.
V: I did!
A: Riiight. I must have misinterpreted things when she said, "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out".
V: That- I- She-
A: Yes?
V: Oh, shut up. I can handle this without your help.
A: If you say so. But for heaven's sake, will you get your hands off your hips? That just looks way too effeminate.
(Leia glares at Vader.)
LEIA: Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a diplomatic mission-
V: (to Leia) Don't act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
A: Okay, not exactly "What's your sign, baby?", but you're a little rusty, so I'll cut you some slack...
V: (to Leia) You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor. Take her away!
(The stormtroopers haul Leia away.)
A: You silver-tongued devil, you.
V: Hush.
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