A: Well...can you at least do it without hurting her? V: Why? What would you suggest? A: You could maybe...reason with her? V: You've got to be kidding. There can't possibly be any reasoning with a woman who sports that hairstyle. A: Well, you've got me there. But you could try. Remember all that stuff you read in that book, "Men Are From Corellia, Women Are From Dantooine"? V: That's just a bunch of crap. I'm glad I had the author liquidated. (The turbolift door opens, and Vader strides out into the detention block. The guards come to attention as he stalks past them down the corridor. He stops in front of Cell 2187 and starts to reach for the door controls.) A: Wait! Wait a second, man! V: What now? Make it quick. A: I've got an idea. It'll get you the information faster than your torture. V: I'm listening... A: *whispers*, *mutters*, *whispers* V: Oh, that is good! And they say I'm the evil one!
						(Vader opens the door and steps inside. Leia faces him defiantly. He looms over her.) V: (to Leia) Now, Your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base... (An interrogator droid floats into the chamber. The door hisses closed. Suddenly, a couple of speakers pop out of the interrogator droid, and spicy Latin-style music begins to blare.) V: (to Leia) Now, Your Highness, let us...MACARENA! LEIA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
		ABOARD THE DEATH STAR: (As the Death Star approaches Alderaan, Grand Moff Tarkin waits in the control room. Soon, Vader escorts Princess Leia in.) ANAKIN: Man, is it just me, or does Tarkin just get creepier every time you see him? VADER: He looks fine to me. A: But he's so...skeletal. And his eyes...They're sunken. I mean, they're actually sunken! He's like the undead! V: Hmm. Perhaps you're right. Maybe I can discreetly suggest that he spend some time under the sun lamp to brighten up that complexion a little. A: You? Discreet? V: Hey, discretion's my middle name. A: No, your middle name is Mortimer. V: Don't you ever bring that up again. A: What? Anakin Mortimer Skywalker. What's wrong with that?
			(Vader leads Leia up to Tarkin and stands behind her. Leia gives Tarkin a haughty look.) LEIA: Governor Tarkin. I should have known I'd find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board. V: *gasps* She knows about the leash?
			A: Man, I told you those holonet pictures would come back to haunt you. V: Hey, I needed the money! Sith Academy wasn't cheap, you know! A: Riiight. And it was a purely artistic endeavor. V: Yeah! (pause) V: Seriously! A: Uh-huh. (pause) V: Do you think she knows about the- A: Man, you'd better hope not... ------------------------------------------ home   previous   next