The sky was black and dark when Brooke arrived in the city from her long drive out into Kentucky's country side.  She had spent the whole trip home pondering what she was going to say to Kevin, and trying to decide if she was mad at him or not, her feelings were so torn.  Brooke didn't know why Kevin refused to talk to her, I mean sure he was upset, but it really wasn't like him to turn her completely away the way he had.  Brooke didn't head home as she saw her turn off, instead she continued on, going straight to Kevin's house.

    His car was gone when she arrived, but she got out anyway, the house was basked in darkness and she shuffled her way to the door.  She rang the bell even though she was pretty sure no one was home, she was right, no one answered.   Brooke stood before the door, should I wait for him, or should I just go home?  She thought, deciding finally to leave.  She searched her pockets and her car for a piece of paper to leave him a note on, but she had neither the paper or something to write with.   Her frustration was growing, she wanted to let him know she had been here, she contemplated writing something in the snow, but she knew it would just get blown away.  Finally, Brooke unhooked the clasp of the necklace she was wearing and took it off, staring down at it in her hand.

    Kevin had sent this necklace to her for her birthday a few weeks ago, he had apologized profusely for not being able to give it to her in person, but he had wanted her to have it.  Hung on the simple silver chain was a small silver star and engraved on the back of it were the words 'my star'.  Brooke loved it, it meant a lot to her and she hadn't taken it off since that day, until now.  She knew she might never see it again if she left it here, but it was the only thing she had on her that Kevin would know she had left, if he saw it.  Brooke precariously hung it from the door knob, and left his house.
 

    She took her coat off as she arrived in her apartment, she was afraid to check her messages for fear Kevin hadn't called, but she tentatively pressed the button.  There were none from him, and  it broke her heart.  Brooke walked slowly to her bedroom, changing out of her clothes and into an old T-shirt and shorts, returning to the living room and kneeling down in front of her stereo.  She didn't feel like watching TV, so she scanned her CD's for something to listen to, something that matched the melancholy mood she was in.  Finally Brooke settled on  Jewel and sat down on the couch with a pad of paper and a pen in her hand.  She began a letter to Annie, it seemed like it had been a long time since she had talked to her even though it had only been a few days, Brooke had a lot to say.

Anns,

Well, even though I just saw you three days ago, a lot of shit has happened.  First my plane got
grounded in Chicago and I was stuck there for a day and a half, it really sucked, but whatever that's
irrelevant right now.  I have bad news, actually I have horrible news that hasn't really set in yet.
David is dead Annie, he died on Valentines day.  I feel horrible, his mother yelled at me in the airport, she blamed me and she had every right to.  I didn't  even know he was dead and that was the reason she was yelling at me.  I didn't know until the next morning he died and  I had told her David would get over the break up eventually, I guess I was wrong huh?   I found out this morning, I read it in the paper, I still can't believe it Anns. David is dead.
It was some horrible accident, he was drinking and he fell and hit his head, that's what everyone keeps telling me.

But I know better, I killed David, he wouldn't be dead now if I hadn't screwed around with his emotions the way I did.  Annie, what is the matter with me?  Why did I do that to him?  I've been thinking about it a lot lately, why I was with David for so long.   The only answer I've been able to come up with is that I'm scared to be alone.  You know my family is in New york, and you are in California and well David and I made such good friends, we just kind of fell into a relationship.  Having him near me was comforting, I always had someone to hold on to, to just talk with even if he didn't listen most of the time.  I didn't know until Kevin came along how much better it could be and how people are supposed to love one another, or more to the point how I should have loved David.  I know people think I just dumped David and went right to Kevin.  I even heard my friend Jessica from work calling it a bitchy thing to do, and I'm sure ALL of David's friends think that's what I did, but it's not exactly true.  I mean sure technically I did leave David for Kevin, but not because I just thought Kevin was better, I just didn't want to see that things weren't normal between David and I, I was scared to not have someone in my life so I stayed with him, I know it was selfish and wrong, but it wasn't something I intentionally did.  But of course now I may not have Kevin either, so I guess I can handle being alone,

I guess I should explain the Kevin statement to you, Kevin came home early, he was supposed to get home this morning, but I guess he came home the same day I was supposed to get here (valentines Day), of course I was in Chicago.  He and David got into a fight about me, and David died that night, and now Kevin won't talk to me.  He didn't even tell me he was home, I found out from one of our friends.  I went to see him and he told me to leave, so I did.   I don't know what to think, I spent the whole day driving, I tried to call you, but I can't find you again.  I hope everything is okay, tell Nick I said hello will ya, he's a great guy, keep this one, although he did grate my nerves a few times this weekend, but I still like him, and he ain't bad to look at either hee hee.

So my tally today, I may have lost two people I love, and you are missing in action,  it's been great here. Call me please, I don't know if I can wait for a letter.
Brooke xox
 
 

Brooke folded the letter and put it in an envelope, she didn't even know where to send the mail anymore.   She thought about it for awhile, finally addressing it to the same place she had always sent it to, hoping she'd get it, soon.   She set the envelope down and picked up the phone, Should I do it? She thought.  She sat holding the receiver in her hand for the longest time, contemplating calling Kevin again.  What will I say if he answers?  She wondered.  Finally she dialed his number.  With each ring her heart raced more and more, and as she heard a soft click she took a quick inhale of breath.

    "Hello?" His deep voice asked.

    "Hi." She replied.

    "I don't really want to talk Brooke." he said.

    "To me or to anyone?" She wondered, her question being met with an awkward silence.

    "To you." He finally said bluntly.

    "Why Kevin?  Why won't you talk to me?" She said, her emotion coming through in the sound of her voice.

    "I just can't."

    "That's not good enough.  I want to know why."  Brooke cried.  "What have I done?"

    "It isn't you Brooke, it's me."  She wished she could see his face, to read the eyes she knew so well, eyes that would show her the truth.

    "No, Kevin it isn't.   It's David right?"

    "David's dead Brooke.  He's dead and I could have prevented it."  He yelled forcefully, Brooke pulled her ear from the phone at his sudden loudness.

    "How could you have stopped it Kevin."

    "If I hadn't taken you from David none of this would have happened.   I have to go." He said attempting to hang up on her.

    "No Kevin." She yelled, not letting him leave it like this.  "You didn't take me from David."

He was silent.

    "So that's it? Because you think you stole me from David you want nothing to do with me anymore?"

Still silence.

"I thought I meant more to you than that, I thought we meant more to you."

    "Well you didn't." His bitter tone was eating through her heart, and she was trying her best to keep from bursting out into tears.

    "You're lying kevin." she choked.  "I know you better than that." Kevin was silent once again.

    "WOULD YOU FUCKING TALK TO ME KEVIN." She screamed angrily.

    "I told you I didn't want to talk."

    "You bastard.  I thought you promised you'd never give up on me." She said, finally allowing her tears to fall.

    "That was before someone died Brooke, how can I be with you when David is dead because of me?"

    "You didn't force the liquor into him, and you didn't slam his head onto the bathtub." She said harshly.

    "YES I DID!" He screamed into he ear, Brooke was taken aback at the comment.  "I killed him, whether or not I was there when he died is irrelevant."  She could hear his overwhelming sadness on the other end, and wanted nothing more than to hug and comfort him.  "Oh God. He loved you Brooke, he loved you so much more than I thought he did and if it wasn't for me NONE of this would have happened, and that's what killed him.  Not being drunk and not hitting his head.  Me.  Me, taking away the one person he loved." His voice was trembling.

    "Kevin, I didn't love David.  At least not the way I love you."

    "I couldn't live with myself knowing I was with you and knowing he died hating me because of it."

    "Do you love me Kevin?" she asked.  The silence on the other end was killing her. "Kevin, do you love me?" She asked again. She heard him clear his throat before he spoke, his words cracking with emotion.

    "I can't do this, I'm sorry......Goodbye." He hung up the phone, and with the click of the line Brooke was alone, no one to turn to, and  nothing to feel but emptiness.   She curled up into a ball on the couch, holding the phone in her hand, the dial tone still ringing as she cried herself to sleep.
 

         “Here are all of your personal belongings Mr. Carter,” said the nurse.  Nick was being released from the hospital and he was in such a hurry to get out, but it seemed everything was taking its time.

    “Just one more signature, right here,” the nurse said as she pointed to the spot she marked an X by.  Nick sighed and signed the paper, thankful that was his last one.

    “Are your parents going to pick you up?” questioned the nurse.

    “Umm, no, my girlfriend is, I think,” Nick said apprehensively.  He and Annie had been talking quite a bit, but things were still strange for them.  Annie still didn’t feel comfortable around Nick and he could feel the tension between them.

    “Well, hopefully someone’s gonna come and pick ya up!” the nurse said laughing loudly.  He smiled at her and she walked out of the room.  Nick sat at the edge of his bed and waited impatiently for Annie to come.  He swung his feet over the edge of the bed for a while.  Then he sat in the hard chair that all of his visitors had sat in.  Then he walked over to the window and stared out at the parking lot for a while.

    “Knock! Knock!” said a familiar voice.  Nick turned around from the window and saw Annie standing at the door.

    “Ready to go?” Annie said meekly. Nick nodded and then the nurse arrived with a wheelchair.

    “I can walk myself to the car,” Nick said.

    “Hospital policy Mr. Carter,” the nurse said cheerfully.  Nick climbed into the chair and they began the descent to the lobby of the hospital.  Annie was carrying Nick’s bag and wishing the nurse would hurry up.  She was way ahead of them and her only thought was getting out of the hospital.  The nurse wheeled Nick all the way to parking lot and waited as Annie went and pulled the car up to the pick-up part of the driveway.

    “Thanks,” Nick said as he climbed into the car.  The nurse smiled and watched them pull away.  Annie sped out of the parking lot.
 

    “Slow down Ann.  We don’t have any place to be,” Nick said quietly as he rubbed her arm.  Annie just stared at the road and didn’t say a word.

    “Something the matter babe?” Nick asked.

    “No.” Annie said sharply.  Nick stared out the window, and took in all the scenery that was     swiftly passing him by.

    “Wanna do something tonight?” Nick asked.

    “Nope,” said Annie.  Nick furrowed his brow and went back to looking out the window.  They drove a little while longer and arrived at Annie’s place.  They both got out of the car and Annie grabbed all of Nick’s bags and drug them in the door.  She threw them down on the floor and said,

    “I’m gonna go take a shower,” and stalked off to the bathroom.  Nick mumbled

    “Okay” and sat down on the couch.  What’s going on? Why is she acting like this? ran through Nick’s head.  He sighed deeply and stretched out on the couch and fell asleep.
 

        Annie got done with her shower and grabbed her bathrobe that hung from the back of the door.  She stood in the foggy and heated bathroom for a long time.  Annie stared at her fogged reflection in the mirror and let out a small sob.

    “Please God, just let me get over this,” she implored in a whisper.  She put her bathrobe on and walked out to the living room.  She spied Nick sleeping peacefully on her couch.  For the first time in a while, Annie smiled.  She walked over to Nick and bent down so she was kneeling next to him.  Nick’s eyes fluttered peacefully under his closed eyelids.  His nostrils flared a little and his lips curled into a peaceful line.  Annie kissed Nick’s forehead and let her lips linger there for a small while.  She closed her eyes and mouthed “I love you” and got up and went to get dressed.
 

        The next few days were quite tense for both Nick and Annie.  Nothing Nick said was pleasing to Annie, or so it seemed to him.

    “Wanna go to the movies?” he would ask.

    “No.” she would say.

    “Wanna watch some tv with me?” he would implore.

    “I’m gonna go read,” she’d retort.  They spent a lot of time alone even though they were in the same house.  Nick didn’t know what was up with Annie, but it was starting to piss him off.
 

        “Hey man, you should come over, the game’s gonna be on soon!” Ryan said cheerfully.  Nick was on the phone with Ryan; he had called to see if anything was up.

    “Man, I just may do that.  What time does it start?”  Ryan told him tip-off was at about 3:45 so he should get over there soon.

    “Alright man, I’ll see you later,” Nick said as he got off the phone.  He walked into the living room and saw Annie reading a magazine.

    “I’m gonna go watch the game with the guys,” he said as he grabbed his baseball cap, and a jacket.  Annie looked up from her magazine,

    “What?” she asked hotly.  Nick stared at Annie in disbelief,

    “I’m going to my dorm room to watch the game with the guys!” Annie got up from the couch and threw her magazine on the table next to her.

    “Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, what about your stitches?” Annie questioned.  Nick could tell she was upset.

    “Ann, I’m not gonna do anything but watch a game and talk to my friends,” Nick said wondering what was up with Annie.

    “Fine! Go then!” Annie said as she stalked off.  Nick rolled his eyes and muttered,

    “Damnit!”  He followed her to the bedroom.

    “Annie, what’s wrong?” he asked.

    “Nothing.” She said.

    “Annie, stop doing that,” Nick said.  Annie gave Nick a pissed-off look,

    “Doing what?” she asked annoyed.

    “Everytime I ask you anything, it’s always these fucking one-word answers.  I’m going to my dorm room to watch a basketball game, okay?  I’ll be back later!” Nick said as he turned to walk out of the room.  He was almost to the door when he heard Annie sobbing in her bedroom.  Nick paused and rolled his eyes and let out a moan.

    “Damnit, what now?” he muttered as he walked back to the bedroom.

    “Ann? What’s wrong?” Annie got off the bed and quickly walked past Nick and mumbled

    “Nothing.”  Nick stood in the bedroom deciding whether or not he should leave now or not.

    “Annie!” he said as he walked back into the living room,

    “Why are you crying?” He walked over to where Annie was sitting on the couch.

    “I’m not crying,” Annie muttered and got up off the couch.  Nick groaned loudly.

    “What?” Annie asked more than annoyed.  Nick stood on the opposite side of the room from her.

    “Why is it everytime I ask you anything lately, all I get is some negative response?  This is annoying the shit out of me Ann,” Nick said angrily.

    “Well excuse the fuck outta me! Go watch your goddamn game then!”  Nick sighed.

    “Damnit Annie! Tell me what is wrong!” he said as he walked over to Annie.  She quickly got out of his way.

    “Go Nick!” she yelled.

    “I’m not gonna leave you here all pissed off at me,” Nick said as he tried to hug her, but Annie moved again.

    “Leave me alone Nick!” Annie yelled.

    “FINE! Damnit Annie! I’m so goddamn sick of this! Lately everything I do is not good enough!  I ask if you wanna do anything and it’s always NO! You won’t even fucking look at me! What the hell is your problem?” Nick yelled.  Annie was getting more angry with every word Nick uttered.

    “Nothing is wrong with me!  But, I’m so sick of you asking me if I wanna do something! Maybe lately I just don’t feel like going out!  I’m sorry if you’re bored, go out and find a damn life then!” Annie yelled.  Nick’s anger rose.

    “FINE! I will! You know what Annie, I had a life before you!  If you don’t want me here you could have said something! I’m leaving!” Nick yelled.

    “FINE!” Annie yelled and watched Nick slam the door.  She stood there for a second and ran to the door opening it and yelled

    “When are you coming back to get your things?”  Nick turned around and yelled,

    “Whenever I damn well feel like it!”