Dear Anns,

Girl you crack me up, just when I'm getting really stressed I get your letter and I feel better.  So before I tell you about the soap opera that is my life, I'll discuss you first.  Okay so tell me about mystery man?  Like details girl, what does he look like?  and you literally bumped into him twice...like SMACK on the ground, or you just ran into him?  and why is he an asshole?  did he do something or is that just your general hatred for the male species rearing it's ugly head?  Annie, you can't let what happened screw your life up more, listen to me would you!  Oh and about Taylor....I vote for murder!  Don't you get straight A's if she dies?  Two birds with one stone!
Okay now about me (no Anns, I'm not self involved!)  Annie, you told me to do what's in my heart right?  Well what if I told you my heart is more confused than my brain.  I don't know what to do, I ran into him again this afternoon, and he confronted me about the frat party, and then he told me he felt a connection between us, then asked if I felt it too.  I do feel it Anns, I mean I love David and I don't think I'd ever cheat on him, it would hurt him too much....but I don't really think I feel "IT" with David, I mean I love him, but is it the right kind of love to marry him?  He gave me his number and said he wanted to talk, but I threw it out.  Was that a mistake?  Should I talk to him, tell me what to do! Please!
I know I keep asking you all these questions I can't answer myself, but I don't know what else to do!  I hope your love life isn't as confusing as mine is right now!  You seriously need to visit soon so I can stress in person!

Miss you,
Love Brooke xox
 

Brooke sealed the envelope and decided she wanted to mail it right away.  Throwing her coat on and grabbing her purse, she left her apartment building and walked down the block to put it in a mail box.  As she dropped the letter in she decided she needed to talk to Kevin, she had to talk out whatever feelings were there between them, she had to sort out the confusion in her head.  Brooke hailed a cab and gave him directions to her office building.  As they pulled up, she paid the cabbie and dashed to the door, unlocking it and disarming the alarm as she entered.  She quickly walked to her office, flicking on the lights and immediately kneeling in front of her waste basket, prepared to dig through it all for that small crumpled ball of paper.  Her heart sank when she noticed then empty basket.

    "Damnit."  She said to herself.  Slowly getting up and leaving the building.

    "What am I doing out here anyway.  It's like nine o'clock, and I'm here digging through the garbage to find the phone number of the one person who can confuse my life to the extreme.  Maybe it's fate that I didn't find it, maybe I'm meant to be with David."  She stated as she shuffled her way down the street, finally getting in another cab and going back home.

When she walked in David stood before her, a questioning look on his face.

    "Where were you?  I was worried."

    "Sorry, I just went to mail a letter to Annie, have you been here long?"  She said taking her coat off and letting it fall on the floor.

    "Nah, just got here."  David walked towards her and embraced her tight.  She laid her head against his chest, his 6 foot 1 frame enveloping her 5 foot 8 body like a blanket.

    "What's the matter"  It isn't Annie is it?" he asked, his dark brown eyes filling with so much concern as he looked down at her face.

    "No, I'm fine, just hold me."  She said, breathing in deeply as he held her tighter.  They sat down on the couch and David pulled a blanket over both of them, Brooke cuddling against him, his arm around her, his hand gently stroking her head.  She laid against his body, wishing she would fall asleep soon, her guilt eating her up inside.  Here I am, she thought, lying with someone who loves me so much, who'd probably do anything for me, and I'm thinking about Kevin and the way he makes me feel inside.  Eventually both Brooke and David fell asleep comfortably in each others arms.
 

        Brooke woke up shortly after midnight, David still slept peacefully, in fact a bomb could go off and he probably wouldn't budge.  She crawled out from beneath his arm, running a regretful hand through his sandy brown hair before she crept to the kitchen, picking up her coat off the floor and quietly leaving her apartment.

    "I must be crazy."  She thought as she got into her car, looking into the mirror and smoothing out her slept on hair with her hand.  She started up her car and anxiously began driving to the one place she felt she needed  to go.

    Brooke hadn't woken up because she heard a noise, or because she was rested enough.  A dream had caused this, a dream which reminded her that she knew where Kevin lived, that she had been at his house before, and that she had to talk to him.  A dream that was now causing her to drive to Kevin's house in the middle of the night, causing her to leave her sleeping fiancee on her couch as she snuck off to see someone else, and causing her to question everything in her life.  She eventually pulled up to the vaguely familiar house, even less familiar without a hundred cars in the driveway.  She noticed a light still on downstairs, as well as few upstairs, and she was glad someone was up, but nervous at the same time.  It took her fifteen minutes to get up enough courage to walk up the steps to the door, and when she finally got there she stood in front of the door for another ten.  She quickly straighten her self out,  smoothing out the wrinkles in her jeans, and adjusting  the shirt she had on beneath her coat.  Finally with great apprehension Brooke knocked lightly,  hoping he was home, but at the same time hoping he wasn't.   Every ounce of her body was riddled with nervous energy as she fidgeted with the silver necklace that hung on her chest and still no one came.  She knocked again, this time slightly louder waited a moment before deciding to go, finally deciding no one was awake and turning to leave, a sigh of relief escaping her lips, but a dejected look of sadness coming over her face.  She shoved her hands deep in the pockets of the thigh length black leather jacket she wore, and hung her head as she returned to the car.

    "Brooke?" The deep brooding voice echoed in her ears.  In a single word he expressed his relief about her presence, but at the same time the fear over what she had to say, the urgency in his voice beckoning her to stop.  She turned around slowly, her breath caught deep on her throat and the mixture of fear and excitement shining in her eyes.  She looked gradually to the doorway, noticing he was dressed only in flannel pajama bottoms and  a pair of slippers on his feet, but when her blue eyes met with Kevin's eyes, they were instantly locked, a deafening silence surrounding them.

    "You didn't call me Brooklyn?"  She stated.

    "Is that why you're here?  Are you testing me?" he said coyly, the side of his mouth rising with the small smirk, melting Brooke at the knees.

    "You know why I'm here.  Is everyone sleeping?"  She asked, finally taking a few steps forward, meeting him on the porch.

    "No one's here but me, I live here alone."  He stepped back, inviting her inside.  She brushed past his body as she stepped across the threshold of his house.   The fact that they were very much alone dawning on her and making her very nervous.

    "The house looks nice in one piece."  She said with a half laugh.  Looking around as she untied the belt of her coat and slid it off her shoulders, Kevin taking it from her hand and setting it on a nearby chair.

     "I can't believe you live here by yourself."

    "Yeah, well I haven't found any one to share it with yet."  he said, his gaze returning to her face.  Kevin continuously spoke to her in a suggestive tone, and she never quite understood how she should read into his comments.

    "You weren't sleeping were you?"

    "No, I was doing some work.  Come on over here, have a seat."  He motioned to the living room, a roaring fire basking the room in an orange glow.

    "Where do you work?  I never did ask you that."  She said curiously, sitting down on a couch, Kevin in a chair opposite her.

    "Actually I work for a record company based out of Florida.  I'd tell you exactly what I do, but it's rather boring, actually I'm going to Orlando next week for a little while to get some more hands on work.  But I'll tell you about that later,  we have other things to talk about."

    "What do we actually have to talk about Kevin?"  She asked, Kevin got up from where he was sitting and joined her on the couch, the warmth of the fire making Brooke's face hot.  He turned his green eyes towards her, and she noticed how his black eyelashes almost touched his eyebrows, and how focused he was on her.

    "We have to talk about us."

    "There is no us Kevin, I'm engaged to David, and well that's probably not going to change."  He looked at her with questioning  eyes, picking up on the doubtful tones she had in her voice.

    "Brooke, there's something here.  Something made you come out here tonight in the middle of nowhere to talk to me, and I don't think that something was telling me you and David are engaged."  He took her hands in his, cocking his head to look into her eyes.

    "It doesn't matter why I came here tonight Kevin,  I came here and I shouldn't have, but I had to talk to you."

    "Why did you have to talk to me?  Ask yourself that."

    "You asked me to call you Kevin."  She shot at him.

    "Brooklyn, I asked you to call me, not drive all the way to my house after midnight to talk to me." He smiled, forcing her to smile back.   "When you walked out on my balcony that night it was like the stars shone brighter for me.  People don't feel that way everyday, I don't feel that way everyday, and I knew that I wanted to be with you, that something about you was special."

Tears were running down her face, she had talked to Kevin twice and she couldn't believe he actually had feelings that strong about her, but at the same time she could, because the feelings she had for him seemed so intense and unreal to her.

    "I don't know how to respond to that Kevin." She said, turning her head away from his again.  Kevin brought his hand to her cheek, stroking it lightly and turning it to face him, forcing her to look into his eyes, the long strands of her black hair entwined in his fingers.

    "Brooke, tell me how you feel.  I need to know." His green eyes pierced into hers.

    "I don't think I can.  I don't even think I know."  Brooke shut her eyes, tears dropping from them.   Kevin wiped the moisture from her face with his thumb, Brooke trembled at his touch.

    "Kevin, I do feel something between us, but how can I act on it without hurting David, or myself.  Can't we just think about this for a minute.  Do we know if  this is just a physical thing or is it more than that?"  She attempted to rationalize her feelings to herself more than to him.  Knowing it was more than just lust between them, but wishing it weren't.

    "Why do we have to think Brooke.  This is deeper than physical and you know it."  Kevin leaned in closer to her, bringing her face towards his with one strong hand, kissing her softly on the lips.   His kiss was so gentle she barely felt it and his facial hair tickled her face.  She leaned towards him more, accepting his kiss, the kiss she had been wanting since the night of the frat party, but also the kiss she had been dreading.

    "Kevin, we can't."  She said through breaths, her hand on his bare arm, and their kissing becoming more and more fervent.

    "Tell me you don't want this Brooke?"  He said, his arm wrapping around her body, pressing her closer to him.  The feel of his bare chest against her and the motion of their breaths rising simultaneously sent electricity running through her spine, she wanted to cry out to kevin that she did want it, but she couldn't.

     "Brooke tell me it feels wrong." he whispered, the warmth of his breath on her skin as kissed her again, both of them moving closer to something they could never turn back from.

    "Kevin, stop. Please.  We can't do this."  She pushed away from him, and he held her by the sides of the face, his hands were strong and rough but gentle on her cheek, his thumb running lightly on her lips.

    "Brooke, come with me to Orlando.  Be with me."

    "Kevin I can't. Don't make this harder on me, on us." She pulled his hands from her face slowly, her tear filled eyes looking into his.

    "So there is an us?"  He asked, hope flickering in his eyes like the light of the fire.

    "No, there isn't Kevin, there can't be.  No matter what feelings I have for you, or what you feel for me."  Brooke backed away from him, her heart breaking with every word.  "We both know I shouldn't be here Kevin.  I can't stay, David deserves better than this, I can't do this to him, I can't pick up and go to Orlando with you just because of this thing between us."  Brooke got up off the couch and returned to the door, grabbing her coat and making a dash for her car.  Kevin ran behind her and stopped her before she got in.

    "We can't leave it like this Brooke." he held her by the arms, running them up to the sides of her face.  Brooke pulled her head away.

    "And we can't make another mistake."  She pushed away from him getting in her car, leaving Kevin staring at her through the glass.  She looked over at him one time before she pulled out of his driveway, enough time to see Kevin's lips mouth the words;

    "It wasn't a mistake Brooklyn."  Brooke drove away, barely able to see through the tears in her eyes, the feeling of Kevin's lips on hers making her heart ache with pain.
 

         Annie was running, running as fast as she could.  Her breath was getting labored.  She gasped for air. She tried to breathe. Nothing.  She tried to scream. Nothing.  She ran as fast as she could.  Her feet only ran in place.  She tried to yell for help.  Nothing.  Sweat began pouring.  What the hell is happening? she thought.  She looked around, was there anyone able to help her?  She began frantically searching around her. Where am I? she thought.  Her surroundings were pitch black.  She couldn’t see behind her, in front of her or to either side of her.  She was still running as fast as she could, but getting nowhere.  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.  All of the sudden, she felt something gripping her wrist and a hand cover her mouth.

        Annie woke with a jump again.  She was again bathed in sweat.  She had tears running down her face, and she was exhausted.

    “What time is it?” she asked aloud.  It was 7:25am.  She didn’t have class until 11:30, but she couldn’t go back to sleep.

    “Well, I could go to the library and do some history catch-up.  Sleep ain’t gonna happen now,” she said.  She rolled out of bed, and grabbed her book bag.  She wasn’t even going to bother getting dressed, it was only the library.   The morning air was nice and cool.  People were strewn across the campus, some sleeping under trees, some doing last minute studying.  She looked at them with envy.  Did they have nightmares like she did?  Did those girls live in fear of guys?  Could those people even possibly comprehend what Annie went through on a daily basis?  She didn’t think they could.  Annie was so lost in thought that she was surprised the trip across campus to the library had been so short.  She walked in, marched up the stairs to the second floor, and sat down in the quiet study section at a big rectangular table in the corner.  She pulled out her history book, took a deep sigh and began reading.

    “A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side…”

Annie hated that song, but it was stuck in her head, and when a person is bored with studying, the crappiest song in the world can become amazingly wonderful!  She was still humming when someone sat down next to her.  She quickly stopped her song, and looked at who was sitting next to her.  It was Nick.  She knew that red hooded sweatshirt anywhere now.  Annie started frantically looking around, and then just stuck her nose back in her book and pretended to be reading.   Nick was drumming his fingers on the table, he would rather have been ANYWHERE but in the library studying. He began looking around and looked next to him.  Annie! he thought.

    “Hey, I know you,” Nick said  happily.

Annie looked up from her book and looked  straight at Nick.  Nick was smiling at her.  It was  one of those half smiles, half smirk things.  Very  sexy.  Annie smiled,

    “Hey, what’s up?”

    “Not much,"  said Nick.

    "Really don’t wanna be here.  What are you  readin’?” he asked.  Annie picked up her history book  to show him; Nick smiled, they had the same book and  same intentions in mind.

    “Been slackin’ I see,” said  Nick.  Annie giggled,

    “Yeah, I have.  I see you have  too,” she said.

    “Well, personally, I find the damn professor so freakin’ boring, it’s all I can do to  keep my eyes open.” said Nick as he laughed.

    “Well, at least you motivate yourself enough to go, I can’t even do that half the time,” chuckled Annie.  Nick smiled.

    “Hey, are you hungry?  I’m starving,” Nick said as he patted his rumbling tummy.

    “Geez, what the hell time is it,” Annie asked. She forgot her watch.  She felt like she’d been there for at least 2 hours.

    “Uhh, it’s umm…8:25,” said Nick.

    “FUCK ME!” Annie bellowed loudly.  People looked up from their quiet studying in the library and stared at the direction of Annie and Nick.  Nick looked around frantically and avoided all eye contact.  His face was red, but he was laughing.

    “Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?” she asked.

    “Ummm, yeah Annie, I think you did.  I’m sure there isn’t one person on the second floor who didn’t just hear you command me to, uh, well, you know.”he chuckled.   Annie rolled her eyes at Nick,

    “As if I’d ask YOU to do THAT to ME!” She smiled as she said that.  Nick gave her a mock wince, and put his hand on his chest covering his heart,

    “Right to the heart.  Oh man, ya got me…” he chuckled.  They both started laughing.

    “SHHHHHHH!!!” came from all directions.

Annie and Nick quieted quickly, and then Nick’s stomach rumbled again.

    “How about breakfast Annie, c’mon…” and he got up from the table and grabbed Annie’s hand motioning for them to leave.  All of the sudden Annie’s heart started to pound, and she started to sweat.  She sat cold and stiff in her chair.

    “C’mon Annie, I’m starving” said Nick, happily.  Annie wouldn’t get out of her chair.  Nick tugged at her arm, and this sent Annie back to a time she didn’t care to remember. Nick grabbed her arm, playfully tugging at her arm, but Annie freaked out.  She stood up with great quickness and yelled

    “Get your hands off of me!” and ran out of the library.  She ran quickly down the stairs.  Nick stood in the library for a second, everyone was looking at him.  He decided to run after her.  He grabbed their stuff and ran out of the room.   He bolted down the stairs,

    “Annie! Annie! Wait!”

She was running so fast.  She bolted out the front doors of the library and felt the cool air hit her face.  She began to cry.  Nick finally caught up to her.

    “Go away Nick! Please!” yelled Annie.  The people walking by were staring at them, but she didn’t care.

    “Annie, what did I do?” asked Nick inquisitively and very concerned.

    “Listen asshole, you keep your fucking hands off of me.  You don’t touch me and you certainly don’t tell me what to do!”  Annie was yelling this, and people were now stopped and watching the two of them.

    “Annie, people are staring at us, can we please go somewhere else and talk about this like human beings?” said Nick.  Annie was crying and  yelling at the same time.

“I don’t give a rats ass who is staring at us.  Yeah people, go ahead, FUCKING STARE AT ME! STARE AT THIS ASSHOLE HERE, TOO!” Annie screamed to the crowd;  Nick was beginning to visibly get upset.

    “Look, Annie, whatever I did, I’m sorry. Can you please just calm down?  This is insane. YOU are acting like a psycho!” This sent Annie into a fit of rage.

    “What the hell did you just call me?  EXCUSE ME???  I have every right to act insane, you are the one who had your hands on me telling ME what to do! Get the fuck away from me,” she screamed.  People were snickering at Nick now.  She was making him out to be a bad guy when in actuality he had done nothing wrong at all.

    “Annie, c’m-“ and he went to grab her arm. Annie yelled

    “Get your hands off of me!” and ran off as fast as she could.

    “Annie, wait, I still have your stu-“ yelled Nick after her, but she was too far gone now.

Everyone was still looking at him, and laughing by now.   He walked away from the library as fast as he could, with thoughts of what had just happened running through his head.  What the hell just happened?  What the hell did I do to her to make her freak out?  He walked back to his dorm room thinking these thoughts the entire way. He felt defeated and like a complete idiot.  Everyone was sure to know of what happened outside of the library, and he knew his basketball team was never going to let him hear the end of it.

        Annie ran all the way back to her to her dorm room, never stopping once.  It was a good mile from the library to her dorm room, but it didn’t stop her.  She had been crying the entire way.  She got to her door, put her key in the lock and opened it.  Annie entered her dorm room, closed her door, stood and sobbed her heart out.  She never meant to go so insane on Nick.  She sobbed like she hadn’t sobbed in years.  She cried some more and then decided she needed to write Brooke a letter.  She pulled out a piece of paper, and began to write.