Hey Annie!
Wow, we're finally back into the letter writing thing again, it took us long enough, but with all the  crap we've been through lately it's understandable huh!  We can never both just be happy can we Annie? Although hopefully I'm speaking too soon and  you are happy right now.  Are you?  I hope to hell you are.  Have you talked to Nick at all since you let him leave? And yes you did let him go for no reason, well no good reason.   I know Paul stabbing Nick  scared the shit out of you, but frankly if he had to get stabbed to save your life it's fine by me, you're okay, he's okay, it's all good.  I think you need to get past the guilt over it all and work things out Anns, one of us should be happy, and I know Nick doesn't blame you for getting stabbed, it was all Paul.  Thankfully Paul is in jail,  I was ecstatic when you told me that, it's about fucking time.   I think the bastard deserves more than he got.  What did you tell me, parole in 7 years?  Hmm 70 would be better.  Bastard, I hope he gets violated left right and center.  I should send him a bar of soap to drop! heh heh  Although I was really surprised he plead guilty, maybe knocking him unconscious knocked some sense into the lunatic.
 

Oh I was talking about you and Nick wasn't I? I swear I have  no attention span.   As I was saying, you and Nick should work stuff out, he loves you, you love him.  I know you do, and I know you aren't telling me everything about the breakup, but knowing you like I do, it was your fault.  I don't mean that in a bad way Annie, you know I love ya, but I also know how you have a tendency to push people away when bad things happen, regardless of how much you really want them, or NEED THEM around.  You're lucky you aren't in my situation Anns, HE LOVES YOU!,  Nick is totally in love with you and you know he is I saw it all over him when I visited, and you don't have to be miserable without him because you're stubborn, three weeks is long enough.

I know I'm being all preachy with you about this, but people go away when you least expect it, get him back before it's too late Annie, I can never mend my friendship with David, never. Not a day goes by that I don't regret the way things ended between us, we were friends once, I always thought in the back of my mind the friendship would come back eventually.

I try not to think about David, I try not to think about Kevin either, I basically try not to think much.  Work, Eat and Sleep is all my life consists of right now.  I know it's only been a few weeks since that night at the cemetery, but I still can't get Kevin's voice out of my head, telling me he didn't love me.  It killed me Annie.  I was already torn up mentally and emotionally over David, so everything with Kevin on top of that has just left me feeling so completely empty inside.  I never thought you could love someone so completely in such a short time, but I did, now all I feel is a void feeling.  You know I think this is the loneliest I've ever felt in my life, I feel like a pariah to all my friends, like they all blame me for David's death, I don't know if they do, but I'm too scared to talk to them.  You're so far away, and well these letters just don't do a lot of the time.  What I wouldn't give for us to be able to sit down and  scarf a tub of Cookie Dough Ice cream, watch Thelma and Louise and hate men together. (Or at least rewind Brad Pitt's part over and over!)

Oh well, sometimes you need to be alone I guess.  I have some vacation time coming up in April, I think I'll go visit my family  in New York for awhile, my parents anniversary is coming up, and they haven't seen me since just after Christmas

I'll write ya again soon, I don't know quite when I'm going to NY or when I'm coming back, if all else fails, I'll call

Love Brooke xox

Annie was sitting in her Women’s Studies class listening to some person giving a presentation and she kept glancing at her watch.  Damn, time did actually stop, I think, she thought.  She started to fidget with her binders and began writing on the block of paper inside.   Annie wasn’t taking notes, but doodling, she looked down and noticed she had actually been drawing Nick’s name.  Annie stared at the paper and noticed her big block letter that spelled out the person’s name who she loved more than anything else in the world.  She fell into a daze and began thinking about the first time she saw him sitting in one of her classes and how she couldn’t concentrate on anything but him after that.  Annie kept thinking about Nick and just how long they had been apart.

    She hadn’t seen Nick in about three weeks, and it had been so hard on her, she hadn’t slept well, and had barely eaten.  The only thing she could do was go to school, so she did, she did all of her homework and read as much as she could  to not think of Nick, but, he always crept into her mind when she was going to sleep and when she wasn’t busy.   She missed him so much that it actually hurt sometimes.

    Annie was so wrapped up in her thoughts of Nick that she didn’t realize it was time to go, she  quickly got up out of her seat and walked out of class.  She had her head down as she was edging her way down the hall when she walked right into someone.

    “Oomph!”  They both muttered, and Annie looked up at the chest of the person she had run into seeing something familiar.  It was a red sweatshirt, a red hoodie actually.  Annie looked up and stared straight into the eyes she had missed so much.  Immediately her eyes began to water but she blinked to keep the tears at bay.

    “Hey stranger,” Annie smiled and said in almost a whisper.  She looked in the eyes she loved so much, and they smiled back at her.

    “Hey,” Nick whispered.  Annie’s eyes began watering so she began looking down at her shoes, her bag, anything actually to not stare at Nick.

    “How have you been?” Nick asked quietly.  Annie’s heart began racing.

    “Ohh,” her voice quivered, “I’ve been…okay,” she mumbled.  Hearing Annie’s voice made Nick’s stomach churn with excitement and to see her face so sad made him feel so guilty for not having called when he knew he really wanted to.

    “That’s good,” Nick muttered.  Annie looked up at Nick’s face and said,

    “Well, I have to go.”  Nick nodded and said he did too.  Annie walked down the stairs of the building and looked back one last time to see Nick walking away.  Just as she turned her head forward, Nick stared back in Annie’s direction and watched her leave.
 

        Later that day Annie was doing some reading for class the next day when the phone rang.

    “Hello?” Annie said.

    “Hey, it’s me,” Nick said on the other end.  Annie’s heart lurched into her throat.

    “Hey,” she managed to push out.  Her heart was racing and her thoughts were coming in and out of her head faster than she could even think.  What should I say? How should I talk? Should I seem calm? Should I act like I didn’t miss him at all? What should I do? Thoughts of this nature raced through her mind.  She was still thinking of what she should say when Nick broke the silence,

    “So, would it be okay if I came over?”  Annie shook her head in response and practically screamed “YES!” into the phone
 

Nick said he’d be over in a few minutes, she hung up the phone and ran to the bathroom.

    “Oh shit, I look awful,” she said to her reflection.  She took her hair out of the ponytail and splashed some water on her face.  Annie stared at her reflection a little more deciding she looked okay.

    “It’s only Nick,” she said trying to calm herself.  She walked out of the bathroom and back to the living room where she sat down and waited for him to come.

        Nick sat in his car and ran his hands through his hair a few times.  His stomach was turning in knots and he could feel sweat forming on his brow.

    “C’mon, just go in there,” he said quietly to himself.  Nick took a few quick breaths and opened up his door.  He got out and walked slowly up to Annie’s door.

    “Okay, I can do this,” he said aloud.  He wasn’t sure if he should just go in, or if he should knock.  However, since he hadn’t been to the house in quite some time, he felt he should knock.  Once again, Nick took a few deep breaths and knocked on the door.  Within seconds, Annie opened the door and smiled at him.

    “Hey,” he said.

    “C’mon in,” Annie said quietly.  Nick walked in and Annie shut the door behind him.  He scanned the room.  It felt different in some way.  He practically lived there before and now, he was knocking on the door and being invited in, it all felt strange.

    “Sit down,” Annie said as she pointed to a seat on the couch.  Nick plopped down and Annie sat opposite him, crossing her legs and staring out the window.  They both sat silently for what felt like ages, but was in actuality about five minutes.  Nick finally broke the silence with a cough.  He sounded congested.  Annie turned and looked at him.

    “Are you sick?” she asked.  Nick nodded his head no.

    “I was over Spring Break, but I’m over it now.  Just got this damn cough.”  Annie’s expression turned to one of concern.

    “You were sick over Spring Break? That sucks.”  Nick looked at Annie and smiled.

    “So, what did you do over Spring Break?” He asked.

    “Nothing.” she replied.

They sat silently again.  Each one stared at each other and then would quickly turn away and stare at something else, it was awkward for both of them, they had never really had nothing to say to each other.  Annie and Nick sat and stared, but couldn’t think of anything to say, or anything safe to say.   Finally, Annie’s stomach broke the silence with a rather loud growl.  Annie looked at her stomach and gave an embarrassed look and Nick laughed.

    “You wanna get somethin’ to eat?” he asked.  Annie nodded her head yes and they grabbed their stuff walking out the door.
 

        They both decided on a local pizza hangout and  got a table as they entered.  It was odd for both of them to walk into a restaurant or something of that nature and not hold hands, but neither one knew what was the right thing to do.  They found a seat and began looking at the menu.  The waiter came and before Annie even knew it, Nick had ordered their favorite pizza and a pitcher of their favorite drink.  She made a noise and Nick looked at her with a look of I’m Sorry, but Annie just smiled.

    “That’s exactly what I wanted anyway,” she smiled.  Nick smiled at her and for the first time, he felt totally at ease.  He began to relax and so did Annie as their conversation began to flow a little more steady.

    “So,” said Nick, “you look really tired,” he said concerned.

    “Yeah,” Annie sighed, “I haven’t slept very much.”

    “Why not?” asked Nick.  Annie looked around the restaurant and said,

    “Because I’ve been thinkin’ about you too much.”  Nick frowned as he mouthed, I’m sorry, to her.  Her eyes began to tear up a little and Nick grabbed her hand, Annie leaned down, kissing his fingers.  Just then, their pizza arrived and they both smiled forgivingly at each other.  Nick cut a slice for Annie and laid it on her plate and then poured her a drink.  They both ate and enjoyed each other’s company, knowing reconciliation was in the works.
 

        After dinner Nick drove Annie home, their evening had gone well.  They both talked a lot about things going on in their life while they hadn’t seen each other and just enjoyed being with each other again.  He walked her slowly to the door.

    “So, here we are,” he said quietly.

    “Yep, here we are,” Annie said.  They both stared awkwardly at each other. Should I say something? ran through both of their minds.  Annie couldn’t take the silence anymore so she decided to say something.

    “Nick, I-“ she was cut off by Nick saying,

    “Annie, listen-“  they both stopped and stared at each other and laughed.    They looked at each other again, but this time Annie broke the silence by reaching up and grabbing Nick’s face, planting a kiss on his lips.  It wasn’t too long, and  it wasn’t very passionate, but it was definitely sweet.

As she kissed him, her eyes filled with tears.  They broke the kiss and Nick just stared at Annie in disbelief, she felt like she had done something wrong so she muttered a  “Sorry” to Nick.  He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, he was so shocked by her apology.

    “No, don’t say you’re sorry.  I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he said as he leaned down and kissed her lips again.  This time there was passion and love in every sweet moment of that kiss, Annie’s heart was racing when she broke away from his lips with a sweet smile.

    “Wanna come in?” she asked as she turned to the door to put the key in.  Nick nodded and followed as she opened the door.

    “Come here.” Nick said, closing the door and grabbing Annie, pulling her in for another kiss.  His lips were pulsing with passion as he pressed them up against hers.  She pressed hard against his mouth, opening her lips, allowing Nick’s tongue to find his way inside of her mouth.  They moved slowly away from the door until they found themselves on Annie’s couch.  She broke away from the kiss.
 

    “What?”Nick asked, afraid he had done something wrong.  Annie smiled a little and let out a giggle.  Nick was lying underneath her and they both sat up on the couch.  Annie touched Nick’s cheek softly, smiling at him again.

    “Nothing.  Don’t worry,” she said as she leaned down and kissed him.  Nick let out a soft moan and Annie pulled back, arching a questioning eyebrow.

    “Carter? What is goin’ on in that nasty mind of yours?”  Annie rested her head on Nick’s chest and listened to his heart beating, it was greatest sound in the world  Nick let out a little chuckle, as he began rubbing Annie’s back, her eyes closing as she took a deep breath.

    “I missed you,” she said.

    “Baby,” Nick said, “was it bad for you? Not being together?”  Annie just nodded her head and he felt her body shudder.  She sat up so she could look into Nick’s eyes, tears were streaming down her face.

    “Was it bad for you?”  Annie asked.

    “I never missed anyone so bad in my life Annie,” Nick choked out.  Annie’s bottom lip began trembling and her body began to shake.

    “Annie, I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry everything happened the way it did,” Nick said shakily.

    “No Nick, I’m sorry,” Annie broke in.  Nick put his index finger on Annie’s lips to shush her.

    “No Ann, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have left the way I did, even though you wanted me to.  I wished so many times I could have gone back and done things differently,” Nick said as tears ran down his face.  Annie wiped the tears away with her fingers and listened as he kept on speaking.

    “These past three weeks have been absolute hell on me.  Listening to Ryan talk about “chicks” and “bitches” when all I wanted to do was be with you.  Hold you.  Kiss you.  Laugh with you.  But, I couldn’t, and I pretended like I didn't miss you, when I was really just dying inside Ann.”  Annie started sobbing.  Nick shed a few tears himself.

    “Nick, I wish I could take it all back too,” she broke off.

    “Hey, shh, You don't have to do that.” Nick said, quieting Annie.

    “I love you Nick.”

    “I love you too.”  Nick cupped her face with his hands and lightly kissed Annie’s lips.

    “We’re here now, together.  Let’s not spoil it with anything bad right now, we've had enough bad."  He whispered.  "All I want is you right now,” He began seductively kissing Annie’s neck, sending  shivers up and down her body.

    “I want you too Nick,” she whispered.  She began nuzzling his neck and playfully biting his earlobes every now and again.  Nick rolled over on Annie and quickly got off the couch, gathering Annie up in his arms.

    “Where are we going?” Annie asked dreamily and playfully.

    “Where do you think?”  Nick smiled, walking Annie down the hall and continued to kiss her, arriving at her room.

    “Is this okay?” Nick asked sort of hesitantly, standing in front of her door, knowing everything she had been through and wondering if she were ready for something like this.

    “Yes.” Annie replied softly but full of sureness.  "I want this with you Nick."  Nick kissed her sweetly as she mouthed I love you, and walked into the room.