Paris.................Aaaaaah, Paris, the city of lights, romance, art, and insufferably rude French waiters.  It has been said that Paris would be perfect if not for the French inhabitants........I disagree, but barely.  It was a good thing that I stayed in Versailles first, or I would have really been soured on the people.  If you don't know French, don't expect to get to know any of the people (as a man, women get free translation from men hoping to get lucky).  If you do speak French, expect to get replied to in english in a condescending manner.  Here's how it works....... 1)  You don't speak French, and address someone in English........   how nicely they treat you depends on how much money they think they can make from you, or how attractive you appear to them.  You are an idiot for coming to France without knowing at least a few phrases. 2)  You ask them politely in French whether they speak English, or what the time is, or whatever phrase you happen to know............  some people will be cool and try to help you.  In businesses, how nicely they treat you depends on how much money they think they can make from you.  The Parisians have no problem being as rude as they possibly can be to you(much like parts of New York, it's the local sport), and then turning around to their friend/co-worker/barmate and remarking just how rude these foreigners are for coming to Paris without a proper command of the tongue.  The irony of this is lost on them.  Again, all bets are off if you are a hot young lady.  Being a hot young man doesn't help you, as Paris is filled with hot young men, and most of them have no moral problem with catcalling women on the street and being cheuvinist assholes in general - no wonder women are difficult to speak to on the street. 3)  You have studied French for several years in Secondary school and University (or come from a French speaking country).  Your grammar, conjugation, inflection, and pronounciation are perfect.  You speak an immaculate sentence in a polite tone to a Parisian................................  They will reply smugly in english and turn to their friends and make fun of foriegners in French....like you can't understand them.  You speak imperfect French (i.e. not parisian), therefore you don't warrant politeness. They must have toned it down for a while to get included in the rebuilding after WWII.  Mind you, people approach humanity when you get away from the tourist centers, and you will do just fine if you are an attractive female.  If you are not attractive, or have a penis, I would not reccommend staying in paris long, unless you bring your own company-you will not meet it there.
				Now that I have that out of my system, I have to say that the City is great.  Good night life, beautiful sights, the Seine, the Eiffel, the Louvre.  It is the perfect city for a honeymoon.  Unfortunately, it really leaves you the options of doing the tourist stuff or staying for long enough to learn the language and culture and be immersed.  Unless you have a local guide, you really won't get to know the people (they seem like New Yorkers, very abrasive until they know you personally, then warm and wonderful).  This being the case, I went to the local hostel and stayed there until I'd had my fill of the tourist stuff, and left.  I can't see myself going back until I learn the language, or am with a partner.  The atmosphere is really, really, really conducive to romance there.  It sucks to be there when you've just broken up with someone.........Found good friends though!
		This is Michelle (the blonde) and whats-her-name.  Yeah, I know that's horrible, but I didn't know her as long, and Michelle said many more memorable things.  These girls are from Australia, and were the first english speakers that I met in Paris.  It was really good to hear english again.  The initiated me to Paris, expat style.  We spent many hours in the Park, getting inebriated, eating bread and cheese, and watching the world go by.  Whats-her-name left after a day and Michelle and I spent a several hours talking about universal things(men and women).  She has a boyfriend, in a bit of an unusual situation, and it was nice to talk to someone who could relate to some things and bounce a few ideas off of.  Michelle, if you ever make it to this page, please e-mail me your friend's name, and thanks for the conversations. In addition to the Australian girls, I was lucky enough to meet a warm Mexican woman, Carolina, a nice guy from Missouri, and two very cute French Canadian women who provided me with great entertainment.  I watched the guys chase them.  The hostel owner actually fell on one of them in his eagerness to impress them.  He is a large (5'6", 230 lbs.) man, so she had to run quick to avoid being squished like a bug.  I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.....
	On to the next page.......I promise, nothing but nice things about Paris......