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| CONTEMPORARY ISSUES Understanding the New Old Age Among Hmong Elderly Thaum kuv laus, leej twg yuav hlub kuv? Kao-Ly Yang, Ph.D. Keywords: aging process, basic needs, being parents, cultural competency, Elderly, gender, health issues, Hmong, love relationship, mental health, notion of aging, social recognition, social status This paper is the product of my presentation "Hmong Voices: The Elderly Tells Their Stories" during the Interdisciplinary Faculty Development Program on "Cultural Diversity in Health and Aging", California State University Fresno, Department of Gerontology, June 12-16, 2002. This presentation was done with April Vue and the Hmong Elderly of The Elderly Hope Project, Fresno Center for New Americans, Fresno, California. The data in this paper is based on my observations and discussions with Hmong Elderly from 1996 to 2000 (in France), and from 2000 to 2003 in California (Fresno; Sacramento) while working on Health Issues with the University of California, San Francisco at the Nursing department, then at the Asian Health Program in Fresno. In the world of change where time and quality request financial independence, what will be the colour of our last age, the old age? Who will take care of us becoming old and disable? Worker in a post-industrial society, one only exists by the professional place, the capability to bring back home a salary. As for the Hmong traditional society, one only exists by the social recognition through the kinship and the number of descendants, and not the professional achievement. Reaching the old age, what will be one's life without work, strength to earn a living, family support and love? Beyond the institutional protections (the welfare, the Medi-Cal or Medicaid, the retirement), who will be the caring ones that, unfortunately, money cannot pay for? Hmong people came from far, from a society promoting auto-sufficiency and interdependence to a society in transition where the individualization process develops new forms of solidarity and responsibility among its members: the notion of sufficiency or interdependence concerns more individuals than community growth. Nowadays, what are the duties of a child toward his/her parents? What kinds of expectation do parents have toward their children? In Hmong American communities, what are the needs of elderly people? Are they different in nature if compared to the ones in the traditional sittings in Southeast Asia? Is there any gap in term of understanding of the Elderly needs, the aging process, the notion of aging on behalf of the children toward their parents and vice versa? Is the senior home becoming the alternative choice for children to take care of their parents? Do elderly parents accept to live in these places? Awareness of an emotional subject - Grand-mom, why do Hmong people have so many kids? asked my 8 year-old niece, one day, astonished by the number of brothers and sisters in other Hmong families. In fact, she is a unique child. -Because when the parents are old, they will have somebody to take care of them, answered my mother, smiling at her grand daughter's curiosity. - Why don't they just go to the senior houses? suggested she again. - Because, in Hmong society, we don't do that, answered the grand-mother without explanation, making the little girl feel that there is something not really clear in her grand-mother's answer. - And why? pursued she. My mother, tired of her questions, doesn't want to extend the day-long questions of my niece, preferring continue her embroidery, next to the door-window of our apartment, somewhere in the South of France, where the afternoons are particularly enchanting. As for the little girl, she still wants to know more, preoccupied by her own situation. As she is a unique child, she realized, at the age of 8, that she has to take care, at the same time, of her mother and father now divorcee. She wonders after the discussion: - If I have a sister or brother, she or he may take of my dad. I prefer my mom. In the traditional sitting, asking such a question wouldn't come out of the mind of a Hmong, especially of a young child. If such a discussion comes out on behalf of children, parents may badly understand the social hidden meanings: they will interpret it as an insult because children would mean they would not want the parents once old. Parents may reply in that case: - Are you thinking to abandon me in some places? Such a topic has its implied emotional meaning because behind words, there is reason to fear the old age alone. - Why do we give birth to so many children? Would now ask my mother to her grand daughter if she wants to continue the talk. And her answer would be: - Because they will take care of us as we did for them. These are our reasons to live, to love, to give birth, and to raise so many children, to support so many sacrifices, privations and to self-abandon, even to accept to become the member of a new clan, and forever denied by our own birth clan. How old is old? Hmong people see life as a successive cycle of steps or rites of passage where each passage leads to a new social status, passing from newborn to child, married-adult/parent then to elderly/grand parent's status. Thus, the notion of "aging" does not only depend on the number of years of life. It basically depends more on the acquirement of the social status at each age. For a man, he becomes an Elderly by passing through the marriage and the acquirement of a name of maturity (npe laus). For a woman, she has to pass by the marriage too and the birth of children, especially of a son, to be recognized as an Elderly. Between woman and man, there is however difference in term of permanence of social status: woman will lose all the acquired social prestige if her husband comes to pass away. Both have to have children and grand children, e.g. descendants, to perpetuate the lineage and to care them, but not only for the old age, but also to honour their soul after death. The physical aspect of aging came, as the last part of defining the aging process. Hmong people identify the aging process by the loss of strength, the loss of memory, the situation of health, visible by chronic illness. But above all these distinctions of becoming old or of being an Elderly, aging is perceived as a social process associated with the acquirement of a social status by effort and commitment in the Hmong culture. The Traditional Way of Taking Care Elderly All her life, a woman will do farming activities even if she takes of the lighter part. She will lead the domestic work, give birth to children, take good care of them while supporting her husband?s lineage. She has to learn during her young age all the necessary assets to later find a good husband. She must be good in embroidering, sewing, cooking, cutting wood, speaking. She must know the social norms and conform all her behaviors to them. She has to behave accordingly to her gender. For a man, he will be in charge of the hardest part of the farming. He will lead the household, play public role towards his clan and other clans, and fulfil rituals duties towards house spirits, ancestors? souls and social events. He, too, has to acquire skills in haunting, seducing and leadership to find a good wife. All the activities for both genders tend to reproduce the group and its values by marriage and giving birth to children, especially sons. In this patriarchal society, daughters do not directly take care of their parents once married and become members of the allied clan. The responsibilities and duties drop on the sons who have to stay with their parents become Elderly. The daughters-in-law, considered as new daughters, should love and care the in-law as their own parents in theory. Even if there is no social prescriptive rule, Hmong parents will always prefer living with the eldest or the youngest son. Daughter with the agreement of her husband will provide material support from time to time during her brief visits. As caring children, sons will feed, dress and nurse the elderly parents, until their last breath. What I have observed in Laos, a Hmong traditional sitting, Elderly, either female or male, could smoke opium and separately eat from the household. If the daughter-in-law is compassionate, the Elderly will find good care: she will wash the Elderly clothes, prepare special food and tender meat in choosing the best pieces for them. But if the opposite situation happens, the Elderly has to do everything by herself or himself. Widowed men would seek to get married again. In the traditional environment, children are "the onlyinsurance of the old age" for parents. Indeed, after a life to survive in a hostile environment, by working in monotonous and exhausted farming tasks, years of living for Hmong Elderly are numbered. There is no precise data on the life expectancy for Hmong Elderly. However, in the United States, only 2.8 % live beyond 64 years old in the census 2000. Even if this percentage is not representative because many Elderly are not American citizens or were not recorded during the census, I think many have died of hardship before reaching the age of Elderly. Reinforced by the filial pity, daughters, especially sons in this patriarchal society, always feel committed to support their parents until their last days where the sons will accomplish the pitiful funerals for the soul of the dead to find its way back to the village of the ancestors or to the Christian paradise. Elderly Hmong in Transition The population of Hmong Elderly over 64 years old is 2.8 according to the census 2000. Currently, there are about 169,428 Hmong in the USA. In 2025, my estimation of the number of Elderly would be about 15% of the total population. As the Hmong community will focus more on the problems of the young generations, Elderly issues may be neglected. According my opinion, Elderly are like roots that will carry out the youth. There is need to understand Elderly needs and, at the same time, the ones of young people so that there are understanding, social cohesion and coherence in the development of the community. The transition for the generation of Elderly of 2000 is questioning and promising. Many of them came to the United States as mature adults, henceforth incapable to learn more because of lack of adaptation and also of the necessity to raise a family. Many of them are marked by family trauma and loss, which made them unable to quickly seize new opportunities to build their life in America. The path of war refugees is different on that point with the ones of economic migrants. Hmong people are refugees. They are attached to the past even when they dream or project the future. When reaching the age of 60, whereas their children became autonomous, many of them then have more time for themselves, but discover themselves unprepared to live as individuals. Most of them just face the new age with weariness where they individually felt empty and useless. Some just invested more time in farming, trying to escape loneliness and the lack of exercise that lead to chronic diseases. Others stay at home taking care of their grand children, waiting for better days to travel back home. Most of Elderly still live with their children while a few have decided to live alone. For the latest, the lack of transportation, of English skills and financial support renders their situation fragile, dependent and emotionally difficult to cope. In Fresno, California, I have observed just a few Hmong Elderly willing to use the public transportation for their everyday needs (Most of them are illiterate and incapable to pass the driver licence). This little number is not due to the lack of knowing how to take the bus, but more to the fear of aggression. This means they do live in isolation. As for the Elderly living with their children, most of them are full time baby-sitters, cooking for the children as well as for the parents who come exhausted from work before taking their children to their own home. There is no time for leisure even if enriching entertaining is rare and culturally non-adapted to Hmong Elderly needs. Wasting money in Casino games just become the bad habit for some, and a source of worry for children, relatives and community leaders. In the resettlement, there is change. Slowly, there is an acceptance on behalf of Elderly and community towards the idea of living independently from the children. Still, poverty, administrative paperwork, heavy medical treatment, necessary hospitalisation or fear of loneliness, remain barriers for them. Socialized as a member living in interdependence with other members, Hmong Elderly suffers contradiction between living one's life independently and fulfilling the norms and standards. (See TABLE FOR COMPARISON OF CHANGES below) Innovative dimensions The innovations come from the contact with the mainstream society where Hmong Elderly find support from institutions and the associative organizations. I visited places in Fresno, California and Madison (Kaj Siab House, 2003 and 2004), Wisconsin, where there are daily activities for Elderly. These places contribute important social escapes from worry and stress where Elderly meet with each other in a more engaging and entertaining activities. I think the Hmong Elderly is reinventing their culture in setting the old age as a new wave of passing time where it is possible to start life again in getting married, in having fun and in finding time to think about oneself even if things do not equally happens in the same way for all and, many only starts to appreciate the last years of their life as a deserved gift instead of morbid wait for death. Understanding the old age as a "new age" is a first step to improve Hmong Elderly life in America. As a researcher and Hmong daughter, I feel that we need to collect the stories of our Elderly because they are the alive witnesses of a precious time before the voyage to the West, after 1975, where great socio-cultural changes are expected in the coming years. Each day, when an Elderly passes away, it is like a library that burns away, a world of memory is lost. TOP Read the story "A Daughter's Care of her Mother" where I shared my experience with my mother For any information, please feel free to email me at HmongContemporaryIssues@yahoo.com Copyrights © 2005 Kao-Ly Yang All rights reserved. |
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