|
When Roses Grow Black Chapter 12 'We need to talk,' that one single phrase repeated itself over and over in my head. 'Oh, god. OH GOD!!' I thought numbly as Howie, AJ, and Brian exited my room, and Kevin shut the door behind them. The dead serious look on his face made my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. Before he even said a word, I knew he had seen past my lie. I knew I was in trouble. "So, what do you need to talk about??" I smiled uneasily as he took a seat in the chair by my bed. "Why did you lie??" Kevin asked, as he looked me straight in the eye. I caught my jaw before it dropped. I was shocked by his bluntness, to say the least. I suppose when you get to be a superstar you tend to forget subtleness. "Who says I lied??" I shot back. There was no way I was going to be shipped back home. I knew now that I would either be sent home; or become a ward of the state for having to many charges against me and be thrown in juvenile hall or a foster home. Either way, I would die first. "Your eyes," he replied as if it were no big deal, "What are you running from?" "Well, since you obviously have it all figured out, why don't you tell me??" I challenged as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. I was actually very proud of myself for not screaming and then passing out when ever they looked at me, never mind spoke. Still, being one of my idols or not, I was not about to let Kevin tell me how to live my life or who I was. I figured I'd see what he had to say and see if I could rip him to shreds for it after for being wrong. "Well," he began collectedly and his southern drawl showed through, "You're obviously aware of who we are since you never once asked for our names." "Anyone who watches Mtv knows your names," I interrupted. He nodded in agreement before continuing, "It doesn't seem you've had it too bad money wise at home, seeing you have name brand clothing, and pretty nice stuff in your bag." "YOU WENT THROUGH MY STUFF!?!?" I shouted as loud as I could. They had no right whatsoever to go through MY personal belongings!!! How could they!! I felt my face flush with anger and embarrassment that they saw the things I held dear to me. "Yes, we had no choice but to look for some type of ID. So calm down," I could tell he was trying his hardest not to explode at me, but was beginning to fail. "You had no right!!" I fired at him in a harsh whisper as I tried to hold in tears of anger and frustration. They were my things. Things not even the people closest to me knew about. They contained secret memories which could and would never be replaced. My own brother had never seen what was packed in that bag I had. Then almost total strangers go through my things. To any other person they were normal items, they didn't mean anything. They could have broken something by accident or something!!!! That was all it took Kevin to reach the end of his line. I'm sure he hadn't appreciated the fact that I was lying to them or the fact he couldn't get anywhere in a conversation with me. "YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE DIED?!?" his voice took on an intensity I had never expected to hear from him. Half of it filled with passion, the other anger and pain. I looked at my hands sitting in my lap on the white bedspread. They had obviously found my wallet and my school ID. Of course they had to go through my things in order to find it. If I had known I'd be in this mess while I was laying in the road, I would have ended it. I looked back at Kevin who was now standing, not sitting. I think my expression said it all. I swallowed, hard and pushed back my tears along with my wavering, cowards voice. Kevin spoke before I had the chance, "We weren't about to let you die, so don't even say you would have rather be gone from this Earth. What are you running from?" I chuckled a little bit over this one. *I* didn't even know that. I could have easily gotten attention from my father had I wanted it badly enough. My friends weren't really that bad, just too preoccupied and taking me for granted. Every aspect of my life could be counted as normal, yet I was no where near being content with my life. I was just so sick of getting up everyday and repeating the same five or six situations day after day, after day, after day. I needed out. I needed something to happen. Then, suddenly, it did! Only not in the way I had hoped it would. Something about me, myself, changed. Something came alive, awoke inside of me. There was just no words to describe it. No way for anyone to understand or feel the same way. I just had to follow this urge, this sensation that was driving me forth. And here I was.Next: Chapter 13 |