kp6

I have always been proud to retain the title of favorite aunt. Early on they would each let me know that I was the funniest and nicest out of all their aunts. Of course, I retained this honor secretly as to not hurt anyone else’s feelings. It was a special little secret the kids and I shared.

I have three sisters, all of which started having babies around the same time. I was thirteen when my nephew was born to my sister 9 years my senior. Then came my first niece a month later from another sister, ten years older than I, and she had one more daughter a year after. The last sister, who’s 8 years older than I, followed suit and had a daughter the following year and then another daughter three years later when I was seventeen. I have a total of one nephew and four nieces and makes for quite a big, close family!

Now I’m pregnant with my first child and living with two of my nieces. I feel myself about to loose the title of favorite aunt.

What made me so special is that fact that I had no children. I was young and free. I had the time, the energy and budget to lavish on my nieces and nephew. I did this often throughout their short lives. We had trips to the park, the zoo, restaurants, museums or just exciting nights of movies or crafts. Spending the night with Aunt Carrie was something every child looked forward to.

When I moved away from my family, I saw the children less often. When I came to visit, I’d bring presents for all the kids. I’d spend time with them individually or, if my stay was short, plan an activity for all of us together that usually resulted in some pretty wildly fun times, no matter what we did. With me, they could let loose, get a little nuts and do things they normally weren’t allowed to, like have desert before dinner, attack an adult an all at once with pillows, or indulge in video games for as long as we wanted. The girls and I would have makeover evenings, something mom and dad didn’t do with them. I always had the latest, trendiest items in music, clothes, games and make up and shared it with them.

As they got older, they could come to me with problems or embarrassing questions that they thought mom and dad were just too un-hip to understand. Because I was able to give them so much of my energy, time and attention in a non-parental way, I became sort of a sounding board for them and someone whose brain is an open book of non-threatening knowledge.

Besides all the fun and neat things we did, there was one thing that made me the favorite. I gave the kids individually my undivided attention. When I had one of the kids with me, they had me all to themselves. They didn’t always have to share me with siblings or cousins. There were no interruptions. No one saying hold one, I’ve got to check on so and so. I had a never-ending supply of patience because I was not their mom or anyone’s mom for that matter. When my patience faltered, I could simply turn them over to their parents. So, it was our time together to simply be together for the sake of togetherness. It was this way up until I got pregnant.

After 12 years of being the fun, coolest, most relax adult they knew, it’s all starting to change. I still make an effort to have special time with each of my nieces and nephew, but it’s getting harder to accomplish. This whole pregnancy, I’ve lost my energy, my budget and a good deal of patience. Never once did I take in to account how much I need to prepare the kids for their new cousin and my new lifestyle. You hear a lot about preparing siblings for the new addition to a family, but never nieces and nephews.

I suppose if you don’t have a close family like mine, a new baby is not a big deal to children who are non-siblings. My family is extremely close- hell, I now live with a quarter of them. In the summer and Christmas, my other two nieces will stay with us and then my nephew is just two minutes down the road from my house. All of them are used to having me all themselves. It wasn’t until recently that I realized just how much they’d be effected by the birth of my baby and how they are going through the same feelings siblings go through in this situation.

What tipped me off to this was my youngest niece coming to me and asking why my baby got so many presents at my baby shower. In her six-year-old mind, she was worried about the imbalance of presents. She had received a goody bag at the shower and baby had received the world and wasn’t even visible yet!