Fandom: Houston Knights
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Category: Humor
Title: And Sunday Makes Seven
Author: Jana - chandon@lvcm.com

Standard Disclaimer: Houston Knights belong to Jay Bernstein and Michael Butler and Columbia Pictures. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made. Please don't sue the poor.
 

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Everything started out quite innocently. A casual comment about "quote, unquote", Seeing the real Texas, not just the high crime areas. A free weekend offered due to the last homicide case being wrapped up so quickly that Lieutenant Joanne Beaumont could still be found basking from the good press. A "Sure, I guess that sounds fun, directed to whom he now considered his sadistic partner, and that was how a very disgruntled Joseph Anthony LaFiamma found himself on a Friday night sitting on the banks of the Rio Grande, facing a real weekend, run by tour guide and Twilight Zone owner, Levon Lundy.
 

"What do you care," LaFiamma grumbled, for the fourth time, as he watched his partner pull on thick wading boots.
 

"I care that we eat tonight. You wanted to have a weekend away, "to see the real Texas" as you put it. Were here, so time to fish for dinner." Levon shouted back over the gurgling waters of the Rio Grande.
 

"I didn't bring stuff to fish with, or in. Hell I hate fish, Levon. They're slimy, wiggly, and sickening. I want lasagna, and I want fresh vegetables with it. Not fish."
 

Wading in, Levon shot one last look of contempt at his partner and said, "if ya don't try, ya don't eat."
 

Folding his arms, Joey responded, "I'm not that hungry, Lundy. I'll just sit here and watch you."

Seeing his partner nod his assent, Joey settled back to relax, hoping to see his partner fall in the water. Unfortunately his partner seemed to be having a good time. Reaching down to scratch his leg, Joey saw his slacks covered with big red fire ants. "Eeeeowwwww," he screamed as he jumped up and hastily began brushing at his pants leg, trying to get the ants off of him.
 

Levon, looking up from his fishing line, smiled when he saw Joey jump, and started to laugh. "Guess nature likes ya as much as ya like it. The water will take care of the bugs."
 

Grumbling, Joey dashed into the water, forgetting all about the waders Levon had provided and in seconds emerged, soaking wet, and even more disgusted than he had been earlier.
 

"Okay, funny man," he called, "What do I do now?"
 

"That depends. Do ya like wet pants?"
 

Snarling, Joey responded, "No, but I'm not stripping out here. God only knows what may get at me then. Guess I'll just go back to your uncles cabin and change. See ya." he snapped as he quickly turned on his heel and left, leaving a howling Lundy in his wake.
 

Damn that Levon. How was I to know that the outdoors would be so dangerous. No outdoors in Chicago that aren't manicured. Flinging open the door to the rustic cabin, Joey thought about all the camp movies he'd watched. Slipping into a pair of dry pants and some fresh socks, he hung his pants over the railing to dry, and decided if he made it through the weekend without sharing a bed with a furry animal of some sort, he might survive. It was, after all, only two more days. Making a concentrated effort to change his attitude, Joey took a few deep centering breaths, then picked up a book and started to read.
 

Good thing I brought this book, all the reading material in the cabin is about roughing it. With that he settled down to read. A good two chapters later, his mood was much better, and when he saw his partner walk in carrying three of the biggest fish he'd ever seen, he was able to be polite.
 

"Good fishin' Levon?"
 

"It was at that. Shoulda stayed and caught some. Ya don't know what ya missed," Levon said as he picked up a sharp knife and headed back outside.
 

"Where ya goin?" Joey asked.
 

"Out ta clean my dinner. Why?" Levon said, hoping to lure Joey out with him. One good look at fish guts should put him off food for the entire night. This was going much better than he thought. Joey was way out of his league.
 

"Guess I should see how it's done," Joey said as he trailed along behind Levon.
 

Smiling to himself, Levon said, "I'll clean them here. I remember my uncle cleaning fish here every summer. The wildlife gets a free meal from the innards," he added watching in satisfaction as Joey looked like he was ready to throw up.
 

Taking the sharp knife he deftly cut through the belly of the first fish, then quickly removed the soft internal organs, throwing them on the far side of the rock. Next he cut the tail, head, and fins off. Lastly he filleted the fish, and laying the pieces aside, proceeded to do the same with the next two. Finally he had a nice pile of fish set aside and ready to cook. Picking them up, he glanced at his slightly green partner and said, "I know I said ya couldn't eat, if ya didn't try catchin' any, but I have plenty. Dinner'll be ready in fifteen minutes."
 

"Uh..that's okay, Lundy. I'm not hungry." he said following his partner back to the house. Oh by the way, where are the bathrooms?"
 

At Lundy's grin, Joey moaned. The answer was worse. "There's an outhouse round back. Careful, it hasn't been used in years. Better check the hole lest ya anger somethin'"
 

"I'll do that," Joey replied, in his happiest tone. "Thanks for the advice."
 

"Think nothing of it. Better safe then sorry." Levon called to his retreating back. His partner was not enjoying this, but tomorrow should be better. There was lots to do and see, and he had it all planned. Joey would enjoy Texas.
 

Over the frying fish, Levon heard a yell, and a few moments later the door was flung open, and his shaken partner was leaning heavily against it trying to catch his breath.
 

"Somethin' wrong, LaFiamma?"
 

"Something wrong, LaFiamma?" Joey parroted back. "Yeah there's something wrong. For God's sake Levon, there's a whole pile a snakes out there, just staring and making this weird noise like a babies rattle at me. I had to go behind a dead looking bush. If ya have kerosene I'll go and burn the outhouse down."
 

"That won't be necessary. Sounds like the outhouse has been taken over by rattlesnakes. I'll get rid of them in the morning. Want any dinner," Levon added, holding out a big plate of fried fish.
 

"No. I think I better get to bed." Then on a lighter note, Joey added, think I'll find critters in the bed as well?"
 

"Laughing at the question, Levon said, "Ya won't. I made up the bed when we got here. Remember, you were shining your shoes from the dust?"
 

Joining in with Levon's laughter, Joey added, "I guess I haven't been all that useful yet. I'll do better tomorrow Lundy. Thanks for going to all this work to give me a vacation."
 

"Night, LaFiamma. I'll be on the cot in here. Remember, tomorrow we switch sleeping locations."
 

"Right," Joey said, as he closed the door behind him and undressed then slipped under the covers, hoping sleep would claim him quickly. Everything was fine while Levon was rattling around. He heard the washing up, the cot being prepared, the dishes being put away, and even Lundy's boots as they hit the floor, then his room was dark, as the lantern was extinguished in the front room. That's when everything went to pot.
 

The minute the light was extinguished and Levon was settled Joey was assailed by a myriad of strange noises. There were, hoots, howls, hisses, rattles, squeaks, bumps, and moans. Moving into the center of the bed, and pulling the covers up as far as possible so just his eyes showed, Joey waited for morning, glancing at the clock every ten minutes or so.
 

The next thing he knew he was being awakened at seven a.m. by a hungry Lundy. "You promised to do the breakfasts. Come on and get up, sleepy. I have a great day planned for us."
 

"Comin', hold your horses cowboy." LaFiamma mumbled back. The last thing he remembered was looking at the clock and seeing 3:12 a.m. peering back at him. Doing the math, he figured he'd gotten about three and a half hours of sleep.
 

"Well at least I can eat breakfast," he grumbled as his stomach reminded him that he had skipped dinner. Hastily throwing on his clothes, he joined Levon in the kitchen and quickly threw together a country breakfast of eggs, hash browns, biscuits, and bacon, as his partner watched.
 

Handing a plate to Levon, they both sat and ate, then trying to look awake and cheerful, Joey said, "What da ya have planned for today?"
 

"I thought we'd take a hike to a canyon a little ways from here. Eat lunch there, then do some exploring for arrowheads before heading home. Then of course more fishing, dinner, perhaps some cards, and the next thing ya know the day will be over."
 

"Sounds fun, Levon," Joey said, realizing he meant it. "I've always wanted ta hunt for arrowheads. I read lots of books on Indians when I was a kid. This should be great. I'll be ready in a minute."
 

"Settle down, Kit Carson," Levon called. "We have to clean up first or one of them so called critters you're so worried about will come in here. Food attracts everything."
 

"Right," Joey said, spinning on his heel and taking the plates to the sink. In no time they were washed, dried, and put away, and Joey was back and ready before Levon had time to get his boots on.
 

"Ready?" Joey asked, excitement shining out of his face.
 

"I am, but you sure as hell aren't," Levon responded.
 

"Whadda ya mean. I'm dressed."
 

"Ya can't wander through he desert in them Italian slippers, LaFiamma. Go change shoes."
 

"It's all I have. I'll be fine," Joey shot back.
 

"Suit yourself," Levon replied with a shake of his head, "But don't come crying ta me when your feet hurt."
 

"Get off it Lundy," Joey answered opening the door and walking outside into the stifling heat.
 

Letting him walk a few paces just for good measure, Levon called, "You taking any water, or do ya intend to just wait until we get home for a drink.
 

Refusing to let his partner goad him, Joey replied, "I guess that makes good sense," and returned to the cabin to fill up a water bottle. "There, I'm all set. Can we go get some arrowheads now?"
 

"Right behind ya," Levon said locking the cabin, then starting out in a brisk walk to the north. After about two miles, both men were hot and tired. By four miles, Joey was starting to sound like a child stuck in the back seat of his parents car on a long trip.
 

"How much farther, Lundy? Ya didn't tell me it was miles."
 

"Were almost there. Isn't the area pretty. Some think it looks dead, but everything in it is alive in one way or another." Levon said, trying to divert Joey from another question.
 

"What is this, the tour from hell?" Joey asked, smiling as he realized how irritating he must sound. "I'm just excited and hot Levon. Guess I'm just not patient."
 

Not patient. Now there was an understatement if ever he'd heard one, Levon thought. Another two minutes and they should be at the edge of the gorge. He was exactly right.
 

"Hold up LaFiamma, and come look here," Levon said motioning his partner forward. "Isn't this amazing?"
 

Joey stood in awe of the magnificent site stretched out before him. He'd never seen the Grand Canyon, but this looked like a miniature version of what he thought it would look like. From twenty feet away it was invisible, but from up top it was magnificent. Levon was right. He could picture Indians riding down the canyon, waving tomahawks, and calling their war cries as they fought to preserve what was theirs. There even looked to be a stream at the bottom.
 

"Levon, this is fantastic. You were right, it makes the trip worth it, fish and all. Let's go on down."
 

"Joey wait. We can't just go on down........." Levon said as Joey neared the edge to get a better look.
 

"Is that a stream down there?" he asked.
 

"Sure is Joey. It's called copper divide, cause it looks copper in the sunset. Now about just going on down, we need to........."
 

"And is that a ledge with a cave off to the right?" Joey questioned moving even closer to the gorge's edge.
 

"LaFiamma," Levon yelled, as his partner took another step, "Hold up," but he was to late.
 

LaFiamma slipped and went careening down the rough side of the gorge, trying frantically to grab on to anything to stop his fall. He tumbled over rocks, tumbleweeds, and scared animals back into their homes before coming to a rest at the bottom.
 

Laying there dazed, LaFiamma was surprised to see Levon reach his side so quickly.
 

"You okay, LaFiamma. That was a nasty tumble." Levon asked, concern evident in his voice.
 

'Don't wanna sit up ta check," Joey admitted. "Everything hurts."
 

"Let me look, LaFiamma," Levon said, laying down his backpack and checking his partners arms and legs over quickly for broken bones. "I think you'll be fine. The shirts a goner though," Levon admitted. Joey was going to hurt for days from all the cuts and bumps he'd received on the way down. The mecuricrom would be getting a good workout when they got home as well.
 

Helping Joey to his feet, Levon winced as Joey sucked air in quickly through his teeth. Things looked worse in the standing position. The back of his shirt was in tatters, and blood seeped from numerous small cuts. Walking behind him, Levon said, "This is gonna hurt, but these stickers gotta come out." Joey's back had imbedded thorns from the tumbleweeds sticking out of many of the cuts.
 

Helping his partner over to a nearby rock, and easing him down gently, Levon said, "Take a deep breath," and started removing the thorns one by one.
 

With every pull, LaFiamma gritted his teeth. He could feel the warm trickle of blood as it oozed out of the wounds. Knowing that they had a good long walk ahead of them to return home, and deciding that these were minor injuries, Joey said, "Why don't we just finish out our day as planned. Staying here or going back now won't change much, and anyway I really want to find an arrowhead."
 

"You sure, LaFiamma?" Levon questioned, removing the last thorn he could find. "Ya might feel better getting cleaned up."
 

Hearing the hope in Levon's voice, Joey replied, "No, I'm fine, really. Just wash them off and let's keep moving. I'd like to get a look at the stream as well."
 

"Sounds good," Levon said, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wetting it with some of his water. He dabbed it on his partners back, then stopped to wipe his gritty face off with some more fresh water. They could use LaFiamma's water for the return trip.
 

Assisting Joey to his feet, Levon started toward the "stream", closely followed by his limping partner.
 

As they neared the "stream" Joey stopped and stared in amazement. "This isn't a stream Levon. It's a river, and a good moving one at that."
 

"Reckon you'd figure that out on your own when we got there. It's called copper divide, cause farther up it divides. One is a meandering stream and cut a smaller gully to the east of us, and this forks a river. There'll be rafting here this summer for the folks that know about it."
 

"Do you know if the Indians used it any, Levon? Maybe there are arrowheads along the shore," LaFiamma asked, as he bent to look.
 

Laughing at his partners enthusiasm over the Indians, Levon shook his head and replied, "Sorry, doubt you'll find any arrowheads here. Let's eat, then head over to some good hunting grounds."
 

"Sounds good. I'm hungry. Guess even with the fall this isn't all bad," Joey said, as Levon unpacked his backpack and handed a sandwich to his partner.
 

Both found smooth rocks to sit on and started eating. Levon patiently answered all Joey's questions about the area, then reached back, determined to have a drink. All this talking was makin' him mighty thirsty. Grasping the water bottle in his left hand he started to remove it, when he yelped in pain.
 

"What the ......." he began as he looked at his hand.
 

"Somethin' the matter, Lundy?" Joe asked, concerned.
 

"Probably just a fire ant," Levon answered as he looked back and saw a small scorpion dart from his backpack. "Damn, LaFiamma, I'm gonna need your help after all. Scorpion stung me," he said through clenched lips as the pain started to take hold.
 

"Scorpion! Whata I do Levon, cut ya and suck out the poison."
 

"Lord no! Just get over here, my arm's goin' numb," he said as he got a good hold on the veins just above his wrist, cutting off the flow of blood. As Joey approached, he said, "get in the backpack and get the FREEZE spray."
 

Joey followed his orders almost perfectly. Levon watched as instead of putting his hand in the backpack, he instead gingerly picked up the bottom and dumped the contents to the ground, then picked up the spray. Levon continued, "Now spray my hand where ya see the red mark. Yeah, that's right," he said as the pain almost instantly left him. "Now take my pocket knife and make a small incision. I have some cream that will neutralize the poison."
 

"Anything else, Lundy?" Joey questioned. He really didn't want to touch anything that had been in the backpack.
 

"No that should do it. Short of some nausea for a few hours, I'll be fine. It was a small scorpion and one of the less deadly varieties. No cause for alarm."
 

"Guess we should get you back home," Joey said, starting to put the spilled items back in the backpack.
 

Hearing the disappointment in Joey's voice, Levon said, "That isn't necessary at all. I'll be fine. Let's go on. I'm gonna find more arrowheads than you are."
 

"Is that so," Joey replied. "Wanna place a bet?"
 

"You're on! If I win, you eat fish, and help me catch them." Levon joked.
 

"Okay, if I win, you make breakfast the rest of the trip, which is only one more day, Right?" Joey said hopefully.
 

"Right." Levon replied, laughing as hard as he ever did. Joey and wilderness adventures sure didn't go together.
 

Gathering their backpack, Joey carried it looped across his arm, to save Levon having to wear it. His partner was not feeling all that well. He looked slightly green when he had stood up, but in a moment it had passed, and they were off.
 

Another mile walk westward, and Levon stopped saying, "Were here. Best Indian arrowhead hunting grounds in these parts."
 

"So where do I look?" Joey questioned, dropping the backpack near a rock outcropping.
 

"If I tell ya and I lose then I don't get ta see you eat fish. Good luck," Levon said, heading off toward some another rock outcropping.
 

Watching as Levon bent and moved dirt from near the bases of the rocks, Joey decided to follow suit. He started at the nearest rock outcropping and stooped, wincing as the skin on his back pulled taut. Soon he forgot the pain and was engrossed in his endeavor.
 

An hour later, he yelled, "I got one Lundy! I really got one."
 

"Great!" he heard his partner call back from somewhere across the way. All he could see of Lundy when he looked was a splash of blue shirt.
 

Bending again, he resumed his search. He couldn't wait to find another one. Looking closely, he saw a small hole in the rocks just above eye level. Moving closer to the rocks on the bottom, he reached over his head and felt in the opening. He heard the rattling of small rocks as he dislodged them from the ledge, but still he pressed on, sure that they hid arrowheads in small niches just like this one.
 

Wedging his foot into a small opening to get a little more height, he again heard the rattling sound, but this time there were no falling rocks. Shrugging, he continued his exploration, and was rewarded when he felt a small round object. Closing his hand around it, he took a firm hold, only to scream out, "OOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCH!" Both his ankle and his hand hurt. Quickly withdrawing his hand, he found a very small barrel cactus imbedded in the flesh of his hand.
 

Staring at it in shock, he screamed, "Levon! Levon, HELP!"
 

At these words Lundy, hustled over the football field like distance to see his partner gritting his teeth and staring at a handful of cactus. Trying hard not to laugh, Levon said, "Cacti don't make good balls, LaFiamma."
 

"Funny," Joey croaked, as his breathing got heavy.
 

"Joey?" Levon asked concerned in the rapid change in his partners looks, anything else hurt sides your hand?"
 

"My ankle." Joey gasped, starting to sink to the desert floor.
 

Knowing he had no time to lose, Levon grabbed the backpack, dumped the contents, and picked up the opened bottle of FREEZE. Next he moved to Joey's side, and said, "Stay calm. Which ankle?"
 

"Right," Joey panted, starting to shake and trying to get the stuck cactus off his hand.
 

Ripping off Joeys' shoe and sock, Levon saw the telltale bite of a small Texas rattler. "Damn Yankee," he muttered, quickly spraying the area with the FREEZE spray. Then taking out his pocket knife, he cut an x in LaFiamma's leg, and raising it to his lips, started to suck, spitting every time he got a mouth full. Finally satisfied that he could do no more, Levon replaced the sock, and tried to get the now swollen foot back in the ballet slipper.
 

"LaFiamma, next time we go somewhere that involves walking on anything other than concrete, you're wearin boots."
 

"What're ya talking about. Get this cactus off," Joey yelled, flailing his hand in the air. "Don't just sit there."
 

"Sit here," Lundy spat. " I just saved your life, you greenhorn. For God's sake LaFiamma you were bit by a rattler."
 

Jerking into a sitting position, Joey gaped, then closed his mouth, just staring at his partner in wonder. "Like hell you say. I woulda noticed."
 

"You were to busy playing with that cactus to notice. Remember how your ankle hurt, well take a good look at it now and I'll handle the cactus." Levon said, rolling his eyes.
 

"I got the cactus, Lundy," Joey said flinging his hand really hard in a baseball throwers arc.
 

Both he and Levon screamed at the same time. Levon to say, for goodness sake whatever you do, don't rip it off, and Joey in pain, as the barbed cactus pulled free.
 

"Holding out his dripping palm, Joey raised bright blue eyes to his partners face and said, "It hurts, Levon."
 

"Reckon it does at that. Here's some information for you. That was a baby barrel cactus. They're really fun to look at, but they have barbed ends, so if you get caught on one you need to remove it in the direction of the spine, or the barb breaks off in your hand!" Levon said angrily.
 

"No need to get sarcastic. How was I ta know. Not like I have barrel cacti in my apartment is it?" Joey said, an injured tone to his voice. "Are the ends still stuck in me?"
 

Sighing resignedly, Levon lifted his partners palm and again took out his pocket knife, this time undoing the tweezers. "Just a few, LaFiamma, just a few. I'll get this done as quickly as possible."
 

"Seems thanks are in order again."
 

"Don't give it a thought, LaFiamma. First were partners, second you took care of the scorpion sting for me, and third I beat ya in the arrowhead collecting contest." Levon gloated.
 

"Couldn't have. I found two," LaFiamma said, displaying them proudly.
 

Reaching into his pocket, Levon pulled forth over fourteen arrowheads that he had collected, then smiled at LaFiamma and said, I'm still feeling a little queasy. Reckon watching ya fish will help me along lots."
 

"Now justa minute, Levon, I..........okay.....I guess we better get back to the cabin before it gets dark," Joey capitulated.
 

"Good idea," Levon agreed, still smiling. He wasn't about to tell Joey that he buried these arrowheads out here years ago when he was on a day trip with his uncle. Watching Joey fish would be worth years of stories.
 

The walk back was very slow going, and both men were grumbling but trying to hide their pain from each other. The sun was not yet ready to set, but there was a chill in the air. Starting to shiver, both men moved closer together for warmth and support. Conversation was slight and the only real sounds were the noises of the desert as it began to come awake for the night.
 

Levon chuckled slightly as he saw Joey glance furtively around with each new sound they heard. When he gave it a little thought, he realized that he would probably be as ill at ease in Joey's world in Chicago as Joey was in the Texan desert. Still he was looking forward to watching Joe fish. Every time he thought about it, his smile grew. A fish out of water, that is what he'd be.
 

Finally a tangible sentence broke the silent contemplative mood.
 

"My foot really hurts Levon. Could we sit down for a few moments so I can pour some water over it, perhaps ease the swelling?" Joey asked.
 

Glancing down at the swollen foot, Levon agreed. "I could use a few minutes off my feet as well."
 

Taking a seat on the nearest rock, Joey eased off his shoe and studied the purple, swollen ankle. "It doesn't look good does it?"
 

"Not really, but I promise you it'll be better in a few days. Put it up tonight when we get home," Levon advised.
 

"Why aren't you sitting, Levon? You've looked a little shaky for a long time now."
 

"That's from helping you limp slowly along," Levon complained, as he eased his tired body down onto another rock, nearby.
 

Once again, the two men did little talking. Levon watched a cute lizard scamper over the burning sands, while Joey was totally absorbed in massaging his foot. After a few minutes, Levon was lulled into a light sleep as the sun, the scorpion poison, the long hike, and the weariness of supporting his partner took their toll.
 

An abrupt, "haihhehaaaaaaahhhhh" woke him, and instinctively Levon reached for his gun, before he realized that they were in the desert.
 

"What was that? You okay, LaFiamma?" Levon asked.
 

"Uh, fine...."came the sheepish reply.
 

"Did you make that awful noise, or was I dreamin'" Levon persisted, sensing a story in this.
 

"I saw a lizard. Actually it ran across my foot, then I saw it," LaFiamma tried hard to explain. "It was rather large, and I wasn't sure what type it was. I'm not sure if it was poisonous. Everything else has been today," He continued, trying to make himself sound less frightened.
 

"Let me get this straight," Levon quipped. "You screamed because ya saw a lizard?"
 

"Uh......yeah," came the hesitant reply, sending Levon into gales of laughter.
 

"Hey, it's not that funny. Just cut it out, okay?" LaFiamma snarled.
 

"Not funny," Levon said, howling, as he held his sides and doubled over, sending himself sliding off the rock he was perched on.
 

Seconds later Joey was treated to an "EEEEOOOOWWWWWW!" of Levon's. Hobbling over to his partners side, he took one look at the situation and fell on the ground laughing and holding his sides as wave after wave of laughter hit him. Finally calming enough to draw a breath, he said, "Here's some information for you. That was a baby barrel cactus. They're really fun to look at, but they have barbed ends, so if you get caught on one you need to remove it in the direction of the spine, or the barb breaks off in your butt" and again fell into waves of laughter as Levon stared daggers at his back.
 

Seeing the mans back, sobered him as much as the pain in his posterior. He wouldn't want to be sitting for a week, then again Joey had a beautiful sunburn going on his raw bleeding back. What a fine pair they made.
 

"Uh...LaFiamma, could ya help me out here. If I lie on my side ya should be able to remove the stickers easily."
 

"Got the tweezers?" Joey shot back, looking thrilled to death.
 

"Right pocket, wiseguy." Levon muttered.
 

"Thanks, and the wiseguy is my uncle, it's your uncle that owns this delightful piece of property." Joey clarified as he took his turn at digging thorns out of his partner. His might have hurt more, but Levon's would make a funnier story, or be better blackmail evidence to keep him from talking.

"I think that about does it. How do ya feel?" LaFiamma questioned, again concerned.
 

"Like a pin cushion, but it makes no never mind. We still gotta get home and catch supper," Levon added. Hearing Joey moan at the mention of supper, brought a smile to his face. He still held the trump card.
 

Another thirty minutes of helping each other hobble back to the cabin was all it took. Trying to get their clothes changed was another story. Both men needed help, but refused to ask.
 

It took LaFiamma over an hour just to get his pants off over his swollen foot, using his bad hand. In the end he had to cut them anyway, and that made him see red again. These were expensive and to just ruin them was almost a criminal. Not as criminal as saying he'd go on this trip from hell, but close. When he finally got his shirt off, he was just as disgusted. First, pieces were stuck to his back and it hurt to remove the shirt. With each inch that pulled off, he felt his skin tearing and the wounds re-opening. His hand throbbed, and nothing seemed to help that either. All in all, short of finding a few arrowheads the day had stunk, and now he had to go fish for supper.
 

Angered, Joey called, "Levon, do you have any shorts I can wear?" as he slipped a black tank top over his shoulders, and winced as he drew it down over his back.
 

"Yeah, but give me a minute, I gotta get finished in here first."
 

"Okay, but hurry," LaFiamma called back, settling down to wait. How in the world was he going to sleep tonight. Hopefully exhaustion would mask the pain.
 

In the other room, Levon Lundy was having as hard a time as his partner. His butt positively burned as he pulled off the filthy, ripped jeans, and the scorpion sting made everything hard to do. Unbuttoning his shirt had taken half an hour in itself, and although he was hard pressed to admit it, the red welts from the cactus spines were sore and oozing, almost to the point of making it impossible to pull on fresh underwear. He did grit his teeth and get the job done, but now he was staring at another pair of his jeans, which under normal circumstances were perfect, but now, looked awfully tight. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed them with his good hand then leaned against the bed for support, rather than sitting down. He got his feet in, then did a slow back and forth one handed pull up job. When LaFiamma called, he was trying to get them buttoned, and failing. No way was he letting his partner know how sore he was. There, finally done. Breathing a sigh of relief, he picked up a pair of his sweat shorts and proceeded to take them to LaFiamma.
 

A quick knock on the bedroom door found Joey all dressed, sans shorts. "Thanks, Lundy. I owe ya one. Now about dinner, I could whip up a..........."
 

"No way partner. Your goin fishing. That was the deal, and I don't care how we feel, were sticking to it."
 

"Fine." LaFiamma snapped, his patience at the breaking point. "I want to take the boat then. No way I'm going wading on this ankle."
 

"Sounds like a right nice idea, Chicago," Levon said. "Meet ya out front in a few minutes. We'll get the boat together."
 

"Fine," Was the only reply Joey gave as he shut the bedroom door in Levon's face. It would take him minutes to get the shorts on. Every muscle in his body ached.
 

Fifteen minutes later, he was dressed and standing outside, trying to pretend he felt a lot better than he did. He helped Levon pull the rowboat from the side of the cabin to the banks of the river. Both men got inside, then using the oars and their good hands, pushed off. Rowing was a little more difficult but through stubborn determination they reached a nice distance from shore.
 

"Okay, now how do you do this, Lundy?"
 

As if instructing an imbecile, Levon said, "Do what I do. Ya take this hook in your right hand, then you pick up one of these nightcrawlers." He then glanced to make sure LaFiamma was following his lead. Seeing that he was, he continued, "Then you poke the worm on the hook about a quarter inch from the end, then take and poke him again in the middle, leaving the last part free to wiggle."
 

"Like this," LaFiamma asked, poking the middle through.
 

"Right, now cast, wait for a tug, and we have dinner," Levon finished, shaking his head slowly.
 

"No problem," Joey said. He picked up the pole and hurled it at the water just as Lundy screamed, "Not like that!"
 

"Whhhat!" Joey screamed, startled. He yanked back hard on the pole, causing the line to become imbedded in Levon's back. Feeling the counterweight, and not knowing what had happened, he cried, "I got one, Lundy," and yanked again with all his might, ripping the hook out of Levon's back and sending it hurtling into space, where it found it's next home in his shoulder. "Yeow, Lundy, I think I got bit. You got some nasty creatures in this swamp."
 

"LaFiamma, LaFiamma, LaFiamma," Levon muttered, at a complete loss for other words. Then he watched as Joey reached to swat the bug he thought was on his ear, and laughed outright, despite the pain in his lower back, caused by having a fish hook ripped through five layers of his skin.
 

"It's a worm. God Levon, you even got killer worms," Joey said, quite disgusted with the whole fishing thing, then feeling real foolish as he removed the worm and found it attached to his hook.

"Can I just go hungry again?" he asked hopefully. One fishing experience was enough for him.
 

"That's a good idea, LaFiamma," Levon replied as he put away the fishing supplies and handed an oar to Joey then picked up one for himself.
 

They paddled as best they could, but they were not making the headway Levon wanted, and both were tiring. "Let's head upstream a few hundred feet where the water is calmer, then row across there. I think it'll be easier."
 

"Right," came the monosyllabic reply.
 

Again rowing, the two men started to make headway, when Joey called out, "Levon, there's a rock behind you."
 

Turning around, Levon saw the rock looming and said, "I'll just push off when we get close enough. That will send us on around." He placed his oar in the bottom of the boat, and leaned near the edge getting ready to push. "Were almost there," he said. "Get ready LaFiamma, and row as I push."
 

"Right, skipper," Joey said, preparing to do just what Levon said. He refused to look silly rowing a boat. All Italians could row.
 

"Now," Levon called, and Joey rowed. Levon anchored his foot against the side of the boat, and gave a huge push, only to find that the boat was full of dry rot in that corner. His foot went through the bottom side and he slipped. Grabbing on to the rock to keep from falling, he caused the boat to tip and both he and Joey were thrown into the Rio Grande.
 
 
 

END OF PART ONE

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