New Writers 
            And/or courious bystanders... Corner
             
             
        Here's a list of rules I recieved by email one day, in the FUNNIES list. I laughed my... ears... off, and then I realized I needed to put it here, mainly because by the time you stop laughing, you'll realize this is not such a bad set of pieces of advice.
        It's kind of... well... accurate.
        hee hee
        Enjoy.
             

            Thank you Suzie!
            =)
             


        The Rules of Writing

        1.  Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

        2.  Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

        3.  And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

        4.  It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

        5.  Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat!)

        6.  Also, always avoid any annoying alliteration.

        7.  Be more or less specific.

        8.  Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)unnecessary.

        9.  Also, too, never, ever use redundancies.

        10. No sentence fragments.

        11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

        12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

        13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

        14. One should NEVER generalize.

        15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

        16. Don't use no double negatives.

        17. Eschew ampersands and abbreviations, etc.

        18. One-word sentences??? Eliminate.

        19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

        20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

        21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should
        be enclosed in commas.

        22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

        23. Kill all exclamation points!!!

        24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

        25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

        26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

        27. Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know."

        28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

        29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

        30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

        31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

        32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

        33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

        34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

        ************************************
         

        Contact Killash at killashtg@hotmail.com
         

           (C)  Page Copyrighted in 1999 (despite the U know whats) by Killash Productions
           
          home
          Main/New Fiction/Houston Knights/Sentinel Dungeon/Sentinel Challenges /AUTHORS
        Nash Bridges SIU/HK writing Contest page/Other Fiction Dungeon/Other Challenges
        Announce New Fiction /Links/ HK Links / Email Killash

        This page is hosted by Geocities   Get your own Free Homepage