THE PRANKSTER: A LITTLE SCENE - DURING PASSION WEEK
by Anton Chekhov

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Go on, they've already started ringing the bell. And mind that you don't fool around in church, or God will punish you."

Mother shoves several small coins into my hands – spending money – and, right away, having forgotten all about me, she hurries into the kitchen with her cold clothing-iron. I know full-well that after confession I will get nothing either to eat or to drink; therefore, before leaving the house, I force myself to have a hunk of white bread and to drink two glasses of water. The weather outside is really spring-like. The streets are covered with a brown mash, on which future tracks are already starting to form. Rooftops and sidewalks are dry. Under the fences, delicate, young, green shoots are sprouting through the decaying grass of yesteryear. Foaming and gurgling merrily through roadside ditches, run dirty streams of water, in which the rays of the sun are not loath to bathe. Chips and splinters of wood, bits of straw, sunflower-seed shells, are all being borne swiftly by upon the surface of the water, swirling and snagging on the dirty foam. Whither... whither are they being borne along by the water, these chips and splinters? Very possibly, they will find their way to a river from the ditch, plunge into the sea from the river, into the ocean from the sea... I want to imagine this long, frightful journey, but my powers of imagination break off without reaching the sea.

An izvozchik [cab-man] drives by. He smacks his lips, tugs at the reins, and cannot see that two street urchins have suspended themselves from the back of his prolyetka [droshki]. I want to join them, but recall the confession, and the boys start to seem great sinners to me.

"And they will be asked at the Dread Judgment: why did you tease and deceive a poor izvozchik?" think I. "And they will begin to make excuses, but the impure spirits will grab them and drag them into eternal fire. But if they obey their parents and give the poor a kopeika ["penny"] or a bublik [bagel], then God will take pity upon them and let them go to heaven."

The church-porch is dry and bathed in sunlight. Not a soul is on it. Hesitantly, I open the door and enter the church. Here, in the dim light, which seems to me to be thicker and gloomier than ever, I am overpowered by a sense of sinfulness and unworthiness. The first thing to strike my eye is a huge crucifix, with the Mother of God and Ioann the Theologian on either side of it. The large chandeliers suspended from the vault and the huge candle-stands are all draped in dolorous black coverings; the little lampadki [vigil-lamps] glimmer dimly and timidly, and the sun seems intent upon deliberately avoiding the windows of the church. The Bogoroditsa [Deipara (L.); Theotokos (Gr.)] and the beloved disciple of Jesus Christ, depicted in profile, gaze upon the unbearable suffering and do not notice my presence. I feel that I am a stranger to them, superfluous, unnoticeable; that I cannot help them either by word or deed; that I am a disgusting, dishonourable mal'chishka [a pejorative form of "boy"], capable only of pranks, ill-manners, and tale-bearing. I recall all those people whom I know, and they all seem to me to be petty, stupid, evil and incapable of diminishing, even by a single, little drop, that fearsome grief which I now see. The twilight in the church becomes thicker and gloomier, and the Mother of God and Ioann the Theologian appear lonely to me.

Standing behind the candle cupboard is Prokofii Ignatyich, an old retired soldier, assistant to the church starosta [warden]. Lifting his eyebrows and smoothing his beard, in a hushed whisper, he explains to some old woman:

"The utrenya [Mattins] will be this evening, immediately after the vechernya [Vespers]. And tomorrow they will ring the bell for the reading of the Hours after seven in the morning. Understand? On towards about eight...

And between the two wide columns to the right, there where the side-chapel for Great-martyr Varvara begins, near the screen, awaiting their turn, are those going to confession... Mit'ka [a pejorative form of "Dimitrii"] is here, as well – a ragged, unattractively shorn little boy with protruding ears and tiny, very wicked eyes. He's the son of the widowed charwoman, Nastasya. He's a bully, a squabbler, – a thief, who grabs apples from the market-women's hawker-stands, and who would often take away my knucklebones. He looks me over with that angry gaze and, so it seems to me, appears to take evil delight in that fact that it will be he who will be first to go behind the screen, and not I. Wrath begins to well-up and churn within me. I try not to look at him and am annoyed to the depths of my soul by the fact that this boy will now have his sins forgiven him.

In front of him stands a beautiful, sumptuously dressed lady, in a small hat with a white feather. She is noticeably upset, waits intently, and one of her cheeks has grown feverishly red with anxiety.

I wait for five minutes, for ten... From behind the screens, a well-dressed young man comes out, with a long, skinny neck and wearing high rubber galoshes. I begin to dream of how, when I am grown-up, I will buy myself exactly the same kind of galoshes – for sure, I will! The lady shudders and goes behind the screens. It is her turn.

It is possible to see, through the crack between the two halves of the screen, how the lady goes up to the analoi [an icon-stand built like a lectern] and makes a full prostration; then she rises up and, without looking at the priest, droops her head in anticipation. The priest stands with his back to the screens, and so I see only his greying, curly hair, the chain of his priest's-cross, and his broad back. I cannot see his face. Sighing, and not looking at the lady, he begins to speak swiftly, shaking his head and either elevating or subduing his whisper. The lady listens submissively, as one who is guilty; her responses are brief and her gaze is fixed on the ground.

"What is her sin?" I wonder, looking adoringly at her short, beautiful face. "O God, forgive her her sins! Send her happiness!"

But then the priest covers her head with his epitrakhil' ["Greek stole"].

"And I, an unworthy priest..." I hear his voice. "...by His authority, given me, forgive and absolve thee of all thy sins..."

The lady makes a full prostration, kisses the cross, and goes back. Now both her cheeks are crimson, but her face is composed, bright, happy.

"She is happy now," I think, gazing first at her, then at the priest who forgave her her sins. "But how happy must be the man who has been given the power to forgive sins."

Now it is Mit'ka's turn, but a feeling of hatred for this bandit begins to well up inside me. I want to pass behind the screen before he does. I want to be first... Noticing my movement, he begins to beat me over the head with his candle. I respond in kind, and for half-a-minute one can hear puffing and panting, and sounds such as if someone is breaking candles... We are pulled apart. My foe meekly goes up to the analoi and bows to the ground without bending his knees. What happens next, I cannot see. Everything begins to get confused and things seem to blur from the thought that now, following Mit'ka, it will be my turn; Mit'ka's protruding ears begin to grow and blend with his dark pate, the priest begins to sway, the floor appears to undulate and roll...

The priest's voice resounds:

"And I, an unworthy priest..."

Now I move behind the screens. I feel nothing beneath my feet, as if I were walking on air... I approach the analoi, which is taller than I am. For an instant, the priest's indifferent, wearied face flashes before my eyes, but after that I see only his sleeve with its light-blue lining, the cross, and the edge of the analoi. I sense the priest's immediate nearness to me, the scent of his riasa [cassock]; I hear his strict voice and my cheek, turned to him, begins to burn... There is much that I do not hear, on account of my anxiety, but I answer his questions sincerely, with some sort of strange voice that does not seem to be my own. I remember the lonely Bogoroditsa and Ioann the Theologian, the crucifix, my own mother, and I want to cry, to ask for forgiveness.

"What's your name?" the priest asks, covering my head with his soft
epitrakhil'.

How easy and light it all is now; what joy there is in my soul!

There are no more sins. I'm holy! I have the right to go to heaven! It seems to me that I smell just like the priest's riasa. I come out from behind the screens and go to register with the deacon, and I sniff at my sleeves as I do so. The twilight in the church no longer seems to me to be so gloomy, and I look at Mit'ka with equanimity, without anger.

"What's your name?" the deacon asks.

"Fedya" [a diminutive form of Fyodor]

"And your patronymic?"

"Don't know."

"What's your pappy's name?"

"Ivan Petrovich."

"Surname?"

I am mum.

"How old are you?"

"Going on nine."

Coming home, in order that I might not see those having supper, I hasten quickly to my bed and, closing my eyes, dream of how wonderful it would be to experience torments at the hands of some Herod or Dioskorus, or other such; to live in the wilderness and, like starets [elder] Serafim, to feed bears, to live in a keliya [monastic "cell"] and eat but a single prosfora [a small liturgical bread loaf]; to give away all I possess to the poor, to go to Kiev. I hear how they are going about setting the table in the dining room – they're getting ready for supper; they'll be eating vinaigrette, pirozhki [little pies (pl.)] stuffed with cabbage and roast perch. How hungry I am! I'm prepared to undergo all sorts of torments, to live in the wilderness without my mother, to feed bears out of my own hands, only first – if I could have at least a single cabbage-stuffed pirozhok [(sing.)] to eat!

"O God, cleanse me, a sinner," I pray, covering my head with the blanket. "O Guardian-Angel, protect me from the impure spirit."

The next day, Thursday, I awaken with a soul as clear and pure as a nice spring day. I go merrily, boldly, to church, feeling that I am a communicant, that I have on a splendid and precious garment sewn from the silk dress that had been left after babushka [granny] had died. In church, everything respires with joy, happiness and spring; the faces of the
Bogoroditsa and of Ioann the Theologian are not as sorrowful as they were yesterday. The faces of the communicants are bathed in hope and, it seems, everything of the past is given over to oblivion, everything is forgiven. Mit'ka, too, is kempt and dressed in holiday style. I gaze happily at his protruding ears and, in order to show him that I have nothing against him, I say:

"You look so handsome today, and if your hair didn't stick out, and if you were not so poorly dressed, then everyone would think that your mother was a noblewoman, and not a laundress. Come on over to my place for Pascha, and we'll play at knucklebones."

Mit'ka throws a suspicious glance at me and threatens me with his fist from under his shirt-tails.

And yesterday's lady seems wondrously beautiful to me. She is wearing a light-blue dress and a large, glittering brooch, shaped like a horseshoe. I gaze at her admiringly and think that when I grow up big, then, without a doubt, I will marry a woman just like her. But remembering that it's a sissy-thing to get married, I stop thinking of this and go to the kliros [choir-area], where the dyachok [chanter] is already reading the Hours.


(1885)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Translated into English by G. Spruksts from the Russian text of «Êëÿóçíèê: Ñöåíêà - Íà ñòðàñòíîé íåäåëå» ["Kliauznik: S'tsenka – Na strastnoi nyedele" ("The Prankster: A Little Scene – During Passion Week")] by Anton Chekhov. English-language translation copyright © 1995 by The Russian Cultural Heritage Society and the Translator. All rights reserved.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE

RETURN TO PASCHA INDEX PAGE

RETURN TO HOLIDAY INDEX PAGE

RETURN TO HOME PAGE