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Here's some random funny quotes that will make you giggle :)


 
 
There are only three things a girl needs to survive in her life:
Love that makes her weak in the knees,
Alcohol to emphasize her fabulous life,
And friends to pick her up when both make her hit the floor.
 
 
I don't like jail, they've got the wrong kind of bars there
 
 
College is the fountain of knowledge...
And students are there to DRINK
 
 
Keep on partying until the end! Go get fucked up with all of our friends!
And don't be confused when the next morning they call you a whore
cause you don't know what you did the night before!
 
 
When your all fucked up, piss faced drunk and throwing up,
Like a true friend, I'll be right behind you filling your cup
 
 
Love ya lots like tater tots... but not as much as vodka shots!
 
 
Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll! Speed, weed, birth control...
Drink tequila, have a shot! Fuck a guy you think is hot...
Fuck the panties, buy a thong! Party hard, and all night long...
Life's a bitch and then you die! Fuck the world, lets all get high!
 
 
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer.
Ray, the guy who brings me beer.
Me, the guy who drinks the beer.
Far, a long way to get beer.
So, I'll have another beer.
La, I'll have another beer.
Tea, no thanks I'm having beer.
That will bring us back to...DOH!!!
I
 
 
I don't like jail very much, It has the wrong kind of bars
 
 
I take a whiskey drink
I take a chocolate drink
and when I have to pee
I use the kitchen sink
 
 
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer;
they just like to pee a lot.
 
 
The worse you are at thinking
The better you are at drinking
 
 
Actually it only takes me one drink to get drunk.
The trouble is I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth
 
 
24 hours in a day
24 cans in a case
Coincidence...
 
 
Everybody should believe in something
I believe I'll have another drink
 
 
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving,
you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer
 
 
Well I've drank, I've stumbled, I've loved till I fell
when the drunk part was over, love hurt me like hell
 
 
I'll drink you pretty if you're buying
 

Good friends will be there to take your drink away
from you when they think you've had enough...
Best friends will look at you stumbling all over the
place and say "bitch drink the rest of that...!
you know we don't waste that shit!"
 

You can always retake the class... but you cant relive the party
 

There are only two absolutes in life
Friends and Vodka
And the best times usually involve both
 

Sometimes you just have to kick back and party
When life gets tough, break out the Bacardi!
 

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
 
 
Good friends get drunk with you
Best friends hold your hair back when you've had to many
 
 
I may be drunk, but you are down right ugly,
 and I shall be sober in the morning...
 
 
Prevent hangovers... Stay drunk!
 
 
Livin' it up and always causing trouble
Our nights don't end till we seeing double
 
 
Drink triple, see double, act single.
 
 
Two hands and just one mouth... now THAT'S a drinking problem!
 
 
Alcohol isn't the answer, But it sure as hell makes you forget the question!!
 
 
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
                  are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
 
 
WARNING: Alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
                 morning and see something really scary
 
 
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
 what the hell happened to your pants
 
 
There are two types of great parties,
the ones you'll never forget and the kind you cant remember.
 
 
Beer... helping white people dance since 1837
 
 
Beer... getting ugly people laid since 1700
 
 
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy. But the Bible says love your enemy.
 
 
Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so ...
let's all get wasted and have the time of our life
 
 
May you...
Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no-one is watching,
screw like it's being filmed,
and drink like a true Irishman.
 
 
Now I lay me down to sleep,
A bottle of vodka at my feet,
If I die before I wake
Tell my girls I drank it straight
 
 
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
 
 
I drink to make other people interesting
 
 
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser
 
 
A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
 
 
Drink what you want, drink what you're able.
If you are drinking with me, you'll be under the table
 
 
He who laughs last, hasn't passed out yet
 
 
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the
morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day
 
 
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink
 
 
Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.
 
 
If Drama were beer our whole school would be wasted.
 
 
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time
 
 
Buy me another drink, because your still ugly
 
 
If the ocean were liquor and I was a duck,
I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up,
But the oceans not liquor, and I'm not a duck,
So pour me a shot and lets get fucked up!!
 
 
If the ocean were vodka and I were a duck
Id swim to the bottom and never come up
But since it ain't vodka and I ain't a duck
 Just pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up
 


2003 Kristen's Quotes
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