January-March 2005
1/02/05: Kristin decorates her shirt with Chinese food.
1/03/05: Kristin hits Kyle in the head.
1/03/05: Kristin hits her head on a music stand while trying to lift her clarinet.
1/04/05: Kristin spills salsa on her shirt, then spills dressing on her pants (same meal).
1/04/05: Kristin is eating yogurt in bed and misses her mouth, deposting a blob of yogurt on the bed. This prompts Kyle to say "This is why I never have nice things," in a martyrish voice. Kristin then puts yogurt on Kyle.
1/06/05: Kristin drops the kitchen timer in the sink and breaks it.
1/07/05: Kristin accidently smacks Kyle in the face (his glasses) while watching a movie. He complains of spousal abuse.
1/10/05: Kristin spills mango sauce on the tablecloth at a nice resturant (just a little).
1/11/05: Kristin accidently spits while she is talking to Kyle's co-worker. Luckily, he is nice and said she did not get any spit on him..
1/14/05: Kristin accidently knees Kyle in a *very sensitive* region. As a result, they will probably have no more children.
1/16/05: Kristin elbows Kyle in the head (hard!) when he is trying to tickle her.
1/16/05: Kristin runs into a wall and drops the laundry basket.
1/16/05: The following events happened due to snow: Kristin smacksKyle in the face with her jacket, Kristin slides on ice, and Kristin smacks Kyle in the face with her scarf. Why didn't she learn the first time?
1/18/05: Kristin is walking down the stairs when she catches her clarinet bag on a railing, pulling her back and making her lose balance.
1/19/05: Kristin loses a mitten in orchestra, then whines about it to everyone nearby as she looks for it. Eventually, she gives up, only to have the mitten found a minute later.
1/20/05: Kristin drops her cell phone in a quiet music history class and the battery falls off.
1/21/05: Kristin slips on ice and bruises her knees.
1/22/05: Kristin drops a bowl in the garbage while she is trying to scrape out leftovers.
1/22/05: Kristin lays on the rules to the Trivial Pursuit game, wrinkling them. This again prompts Kyle to say, "I never have nice things" in a faux-martyr voice. Kristin doesn't retaliate this time, because she is too mature.
1/25/05: Kristin drops the remote on her toe and leaves a purple mark.
1/29/05: Kristin drops her metronome at least three times during her morning warm-up routine
February:
February 2, 2005: Kristin drops her lunch bag, and gets yogurt everywhere. She decides not to eat the yogurt, because it contains Phenylalanine and she didn't realize that when she bought it.
February 3, 2005: Kristin forgets to learn the Beethoven 8 excerpt and also forgets to bring her excerpt book to school.
February 8, 2005: Kristin is trying to flatten the chicken for Chicken Permesan, when she squishes it too much and the chicken shot off the plate. It hit the waffle iron.
February 8, 2005: Kristin burnt her finger on the stove when she was wiping the countertop. Kyle said, "Be careful." Kristin pointed out the futility of that remark.
February 8/9, 2005: Kristin somehow burned off a chunk of her hair. She either did it cooking the night before, or burned it blow drying. She doesn't know what happened.
February 11, 2005: Kristin spilled water onr her shirt.
February 12, 2005: Kristin tripped over Kyle and ran into the wall. This is why we never have nice things
February 14, 2005: While playing clarinet in the opera, Kristin started choking on a piece of cigarette paper, causing her to miss an entrance.
February 18, 2005: Kristin spilled cereal.
February 20, 2005: Kristin competed in the concerto competition. She got there early to warm up, forgetting that she was supposed to make copies. She ran around trying to find a copier, and finally drove to Kinkos, just in time.
February 21, 2005: While getting her urine test at the doctors, Kristin switched hands, and dropped the cup in the toilet. Gross.
February 26, 2005: Kristin spilled orange juice all over her shirt. (Actually, it was Kyle's shirt, as she has a habit of stealing his clothes. This is why he never has nice things.)
February 28, 2005: Kristin grabbed her fellowship cheque on the way out of the building and promptly lost it. After looking though all her possessions and re-tracing her steps, she gave up. When she went outside, she opened her umbrella, only to have the cheque waft out onto the pavement. Somehow, it must have gotten inside her umbrella. Kristin is losing her mind.
March:
March 9, 2005: I sat down in a chair, not knowing that there was a plate of fishtank rocks drying under my feet. One of the chair legs caught the fishtank rocks, and the whole chair slipped sideways, spraying rocks all over. (Kyle laughed so hard he started crying, which I have never seen him do before.)
March 10, 2005: During a clarinet lesson, I pulled back my hair and my turtleneck to show a student the motion in my throat. They pointed out that I had the turtleneck on backwards all day.
March 11, 2005: At the bank, I was talking to Kyle and filling out a deposit slip, when I dropped my purse face down on the floor.
March 15, 2005: I spilled the following things on myself this evening: Dirty Dishwater from the George Foreman, Cold Grease from the same George Foreman, Brownie Dough (I leaned in it), and the night is not over yet!
March 17, 2005: I broke my clarinet in half. This is too depressing to make it funny. :(
March 22, 2005: My pen leaked and I got ink all over my hands on smeared it on my face.
March 27, 2005: I dropped a lid on the bowl of peas, splattering peas and pea juice all over.
March 31, 2005: As I finished cooking a steak in the George Foreman, I dropped it on the floor. I quickly turned to pick it up (5 second rule!) and hit my head on the kitchen cabinet that I left open.
