 |
| Mostly Funny Quotes 11 |
|
| Stuff |
|
| "The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end." ~anon "When I was born, I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half!" ... ~ Gracie Allen "I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers." ~ Woody Allen Sign at a railroad station: "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating or complex - but Congress can. - Cullen Hightower "My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' " --Paula Poundstone "Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) "I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck." ~ George Carlin "I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering." ~Steven Wright Man, this whole hitman career is overrated. Stress, stress, stress -- that's all I ever do. If I don't get some time off soon, I'm gonna kill somebody! ~Pam Pickard Insanity is just imagination, that hasn't found its way back to reality. ~ Wayne Coyne "Orville Wright said to his brother, Wilbur, 'You were only in the air for twelve seconds. How could your luggage be in Cleveland?'" ~Red Buttons People demand freedom of speech to makeup for the freedom of thought which they avoid. -Soren Kierkegaard Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. ~Russell. "I can't say I was ever lost, but I was bewildered once for three days." ~ Daniel Boone "Anyone can have an off decade." ~ Larry Cole |