Mostly Funny Quotes 12
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I remember once I was walking through campus and my instructor grabs me, and
he's a real big guy, and yells 'IT'S BEEN SIX WEEKS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU IN CAMOUFLAGE CLASS!'
I said, "I'm getting good!" -- Emo Philips


I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me,
I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him
to a quiet place and kill him.
---Mark Twain


"It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your
annoying habits are gone!"
--Merrill Markoe


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no
influence on society.
- Mark Twain


ON MILITARY MUSIC -- "I feel that if ANY songs are to come out of World War Three, we'd better start writing them now." -- Tom Lehrer, introducing his song "So Long, Mom"


You know what would be cool? If on New Year's Eve, right at midnight,
we get 1 million people to point their laser pointers at the moon and blast it out of orbit.
~Ken Prentice


"Trying is the first step to failure."


Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. ~~Jeve Moorman


"I don't make jokes, "Will Rogers once said truthfully. "I just
watch the government and report the facts."


Neurotic: A person who worries about things that didn't happen in the
past... instead of worrying about something that won't happen in the future,
like normal people.


I've developed a new philosophy: I only dread one day at a time.
~Charles Schultz


The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.
~Charles Schultz


Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
- Charlie Brown


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll
probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for
advancement.
- Snoopy


Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's
already tomorrow in Australia.
~Charles Schultz


Promise me you'll never forget me, because if I thought you would I'd never leave.


"Every game ever invented by mankind is a way of making things hard
for the fun of it."
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