Mostly Funny Quotes 12 |
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Stuff |
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I remember once I was walking through campus and my instructor grabs me, and he's a real big guy, and yells 'IT'S BEEN SIX WEEKS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU IN CAMOUFLAGE CLASS!' I said, "I'm getting good!" -- Emo Philips I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. ---Mark Twain "It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!" --Merrill Markoe Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain ON MILITARY MUSIC -- "I feel that if ANY songs are to come out of World War Three, we'd better start writing them now." -- Tom Lehrer, introducing his song "So Long, Mom" You know what would be cool? If on New Year's Eve, right at midnight, we get 1 million people to point their laser pointers at the moon and blast it out of orbit. ~Ken Prentice "Trying is the first step to failure." Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. ~~Jeve Moorman "I don't make jokes, "Will Rogers once said truthfully. "I just watch the government and report the facts." Neurotic: A person who worries about things that didn't happen in the past... instead of worrying about something that won't happen in the future, like normal people. I've developed a new philosophy: I only dread one day at a time. ~Charles Schultz The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon. ~Charles Schultz Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything. - Charlie Brown Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. - Snoopy Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schultz Promise me you'll never forget me, because if I thought you would I'd never leave. "Every game ever invented by mankind is a way of making things hard for the fun of it." |