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| Mostly Funny Quotes 13 |
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| Stuff |
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| It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones "Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. ~ Steven Wright Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. ~ Robert Frost I hope we get this president thing sorted out soon, cause everytime the aliens ask me to take them to my leader, I don't know what to do. ~ George MacMillan "Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too." ~ Lichty & Wagner Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. -- Jules Renard I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy. -- Bern Williams "The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim." --E. W. DIJKSTRA "I said to my doctor, 'I've broken my arm in several places.' He said, 'Don't go to those places.'" - Henny Youngman "A politician is someone who lies to you about his yacht and then makes you do all the rowing." ~ Anon When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. ~* Steven Wright "I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds." ~* Steven Wright The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein "My doctor told me he'd have me on my feet in two weeks. He was right. I got his bill; I had to sell my car." - Rodney Dangerfield On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. George Orwell |