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| Mostly Funny Quotes 14 |
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| Stuff |
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| "Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number." - Unknown The problem with government is that it goes in two directions - nowhere and reverse. William Saroyan If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, without having to accomplish anything. -- Ashleigh Brilliant It is not true that life is one damn thing after another - it's one damn thing over and over. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind. -- Steve Allen "Now that I'm here, where am I ?" ~ Janis Joplin "Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." -- Nora Ephron "The one thing I've learned from all my years of cooking is that it's always quietest just before the fire alarm." - Robert Puckett Every man usually has something he can do better than anyone else. Usually it is reading his own handwriting. "We usually meet all our relatives only at funerals where someone always observes, 'Too bad we can't get together more often.'" - Sam Levenson "Every politician who runs for the presidency says he wants to turn the country around. That's why we have so many problems. The country's been turned around so many times, it's going in circles." - Joe Hickman "I looked out my apartment window, and I saw a bird wearing sneakers and a button saying, 'I ain't flying nowhere.' I said, 'What's your problem buddy?' He said, 'I'm sick of this stuff - winter here, summer there, winter here, summer there. I don't know who thought this stuff up, but it certainly wasn't a bird.' I said, 'Well, I was just making breakfast, come on in. Want some eggs? Sorry.'" -- Steven Wright At the end of your rope? Tie a knot and SWING! ~ Leo Buscaglia, the Hug Doctor Does anal-retentive have a hyphen? ~ Jim Mulvey Where do *I* want to go today? Back to bed. ~ Paul Hughes |