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| Mostly Funny Quotes 15 |
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| "I got an "A" in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist." ~ Judy Tenuta Q: What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A: A cat has its claws at the end of it's paws and a comma has its pause at the end of a clause. "Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind." ~ Terry pratchet, from the book 'Reaper man' Thinking is the most unhealthy thing there is, and it has killed more people than any other disease. ~ Oscar Wilde Always keep a song in your heart -- it's like karaoke for the voices in your head. (Robert Fulton Abernethy) It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract. -- Alan Shepherd Guilt is the mafia of the mind. -- Bob Mandel "I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache." ~ Jack Mayberry "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones From the movie 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective': Ace: "If I'm not back in five minutes ... just wait longer." "Just when you think you got the world on a string, someone comes by with a pair of scissors." ~Gerie "to do is to be - Rousseau to be is to to - Satre Dobedobedo - Sinartra" "Sometimes I just get so frustrated by the rush hour traffic that I slam my head on the steering wheel. That's usually followed by the bus driver telling me to get out." - J. Hutter "Only the good die young, want to be immortal with me?" They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said,"Body how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch ... do it and die." |