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| Mostly Funny Quotes 22 |
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| Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~George Carlin I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. ~George Carlin I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. e e cummings If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. Albert Einstein "Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted." -- Hesketh Pearson The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams You live and learn. At any rate, you live. Douglas Adams The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. Scott Adams Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams, 'The Dilbert Principle' I am at two with nature. Woody Allen Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day. - Anonymous Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. - Anonymous Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working. - Anonymous California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange. ~Fred Allen |