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| Mostly Funny Quotes 3 |
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| Stuff |
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| “Join in the new game that’s sweeping the country. It’s called “Bureaucracy”. Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.” “Nothing is impossible for the man that doesn’t have to do it himself.” “If at first you don’t succeed, see if the loser gets anything.” “Around here, we put the FUN in dysFUNctional.” “Q. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? A. I don’t know and I don’t care.” ~Norman H Cohen “In a fight between you and the world, back the world.” ~Franz Kafka “I think if I could turn my mind into some kind of amusement park ride, it would be really successful. It scares ME half the time and I know what’s in it.” ~R. M. Weiner “For sincere personal advice and the correct time: call any number at random at 3am.” “If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.” “Nothing is quite so annoying as having someone go right on talking when you’re interrupting.” “Thank you, but I have other plans.” ~ response to “Have a nice day” by Paul Fussel “If indeed there is no such thing as a stupid question, then how do you explain this one?” ~Ed Smith Last summer a business associate visited the UK for the first time and I arranged to meet him at the airport’s car hire desk. “I thought you British were a pessimistic lot” he said when I arrived “But I’ve changed my mind. They’ve just offered me a car with a sunroof.” "I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 'matches' to my key word. That's like saying, "Good news, we've located the product you're looking for. It's on Earth." ~Bruce Cameron. "A lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Winston Churchill "A federal judge has ruled that Microsoft should be split into two different companies. One company will have the Windows operating system and the other will count Bill Gates' money." - Conan O'Brien The earth? Oh the earth will be gone in a few seconds...I'm going to blow it up. It's obstructing my view of Venus. -- Marvin the Martian "Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon." -Jilly Cooper, How to Survive from Nine to Five |