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| Mostly Funny Quotes 32 |
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| Stuff |
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| "Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece." - Lisa Simpson "The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun." ~ Ralph Nader I don't see what's the big thing about this Year 2000 problem. According to my wristwatch, it's almost 1900 years away. (William White) "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." "Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." --Will Durant " I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it." -- Steven Wright I used to be Snow White - but I drifted. - Mae West "A US survey found that 40 percent of schoolchildren wanted Abraham Lincoln's head on a one cent piece replaced by Pikachu. Presumably the other 60 percent wanted Bulbasaur." I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. -Unknown "Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground." - Tommy Cooper "The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep." -- W. C. Fields Life is just a bowl of pits. -- Rodney Dangerfield "The only country in the world where everybody is happy doesn't exist - because everybody is dead in that country." - Singaporean official governing "Speaker's Corner" in Singapore (BBC World, "Simpson's World", Feb.2.2001) When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd Mortgages and junk like that, you know most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right? Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back! Just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. Heck, you can send it back empty if you want. Keep 'em guessing! |