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| Mostly Funny Quotes 34 |
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| Did you ever get the feeling that the whole world is a tuxedo and you're pair of brown shoes? -- George Gobel "I never said I had no idea about most of the things you said I said I had no idea about." -- Elliott Abrams, Assistant Secretary of State, clarifying himself before a 1987 congressional hearing. "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.' " -----Richard Jeni "I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again." ~ Joan Rivers Our planet is the mental institution of the universe. - Goethe 100 little bugs in the program, 100 little bugs If 1 of those bugs gets patched, {Line Error: 000824X0 Object not found} little bugs in the program Normal: what the average person can accomplish with little or no effort. So why be normal? -- Bob Seay This isn't right. This isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons. -- Will Cuppy "You (reporters) should have printed what he meant, not what he said." - Earl Bush Press aide to Richard Daley I need to get a new job. All the negativity at the photo lab is really getting me down. (mayboy) Yesterday I traveled into the future. I was laying on my bed, shut my eyes and then when I opened them I was 4 hours into the future! And now I can't seem to get back. (Jason Turvey) Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. -- Dan Quayle Is there life before death? -- Graffito, in Belfast My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake. ,,,,, I feel better already. |