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| Mostly Funny Quotes 37 |
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| DIETARY ADVICE Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was. Maryann's Law: You can always find what you're not looking for. Why does wal-mart have 20 check out lanes and only 2 cashiers working? Its a conspiracy to make you stand there just long enough to forget where you parked your car. In school I was never the class clown, but more the class trapeze artist, as I was always being suspended. ~~Emo Philips I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence. ~~William F. Buckley "I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" - Dave Barry When fish jump in the air, do they take a deep breath and close their eyes? --Lawrence Brotherton "Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive." - - George Carlin The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners. Ernst Jan Plugge "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality." - Jules de Gaultier "Everything you can imagine is real." - Pablo Picasso "Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?" - Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. Dennis Ritchie I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me. -- Dr. Seuss The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. -- Robert R. Coveyou |