Mostly Funny Quotes 45
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"This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week. It comes with
an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards. Your challenge
is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment."
- Dilbert  


Among the things money can't buy is what it used to.  ~~Max Kauffman


A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his
eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.


It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when
we have lost our way.
--Rollo May


"Now that I'm here, where am I?"
--Janis Joplin


Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in
the afternoon.
---Jilly Cooper, How to Survive from Nine to Five


I leave you to draw your own conclusions. With crayons, no doubt.
-- Marc Wolfe


Ade's Law - "Anybody can win -- unless there happens to be a second
entry."
~ George Ade


There are moments when everything goes well; don't be frightened, it won't
last.
-- Jules Renard


"I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it, "Do not eat
if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough..."
- Brian Kiley


Ettore's Law - "The other line moves faster."
~ Barbara Ettore


A few additions to Murphy's Laws ...
C01: To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
C02: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.


Ever notice...
that food with half the calories costs twice as much?
that the only vacant parking space is always on the other
side of the street?
that there are always more last-minute details than there
are last minutes?
that as soon as you make your mark in the world, someone
shows up with an eraser?


"Sometimes I get the feeling that the whole world is against
me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the
smaller countries are neutral."
- Robert Orben


"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."
- Garrison Keillor
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