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| Mostly Funny Quotes 46 |
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| Stuff |
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| I can't grasp the notion of time. When I hear the earth will melt into the sun, in five (or was it two) billion years, all I can think is: "Will that be on a Monday?" If knowledge is power, and power corrupts, what does absolute knowledge bring? -- AJ Melten With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. - Ransom K. Ferm If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! -- Homer Simpson I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. -- Rita Rudner A computer program does what you Tell it to do, not what you Want it to do. People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. -- Russell Baker Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. -- Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin) A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell I'm looking forward to looking back on all this. - Sandra Knell Soon I'll be wearing a straightjacket with a glow-in-the-dark belt buckle that says "I AM NOT NUTS. I AM RAISINS." -- Bill Ballance Good morning - any one you sleep through; usually a contradiction in terms. ~ Garfield The less we learn the less we understand; the more we learn the more we don't understand. - Paradox of learning If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn't be so anxious. -- Mignon McLaughlin "I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil." - Steven Wright Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear, but forgetting where you heard it. - I forgot |