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| Mostly Funny Quotes 55 |
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| Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. ---Albert Einstein "Sometimes I think I must have a guardian idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me... only he's an imbecile." ~Jake Stonebender "I wonder who discovered we could get milk from cows and what on EARTH did he think he was doing?!" ~ Billy Connolly "If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?" -Lily Tomlin "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." ~ Sue Murphy "Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?" ~ Unknown "If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?" - Steven Wright Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat. -- Sir Julian Huxley "If you took NyQuil and No-Doz at the same time, would you dream you couldn't sleep?" - Carrot Top I suppose that when ants get stepped on, they have no idea what hit them. But I'll bet that hasn't stopped them from coming up with fancy names for it, like "spontaneous compression" or "vertical planar syndrome." (LeMel Hebert-Williams) I think; therefore, I am. Except in Algebra class. I'm pretty much non-existent there. (Mystic7) I drank what? ---Socrates "I'm not good at saving money. My parents say, 'A penny saved is a penny earned.' But if that's true, then my vacuum is the World Bank." - Lesley Wake "I was on a job interview, and was asked what my dream job would be. I said, 'The words dream and job don't really go together for me. How about "dream, no job." Do you have that?'" -Chris Mancini |