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| Mostly Funny Quotes 61 |
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| "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."--Stephen Roberts I was sitting outside one cloudy day, reminiscing on all the bad luck I was having. Everything was going wrong. Feeling bad, I looked up to the heavens with outstretched arms and said " Why me, Lord, Why me. All of a sudden there was a clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning, and as the clouds parted, a booming voice came down from the sky, and said "Because, there's something about you that just pisses me off" ~Unknown My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, 'How was that drive-by shooting?' You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get out alive. My So-Called Life "Your federal income tax return has been selected for examination." This is really scary. They must get Stephen King to write these. My So-Called Life Don't ask me, I just live here. My So-Called Life Indecision may, or may not, be my problem. Jimmy Buffett "Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." Nora Ephron A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. -- William S. Burroughs "Year; A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments." -Ambrose Bierce "Any resemblance between myself and someone who knows what's going on is simply coincidental." -- Michelle Drew "Paranoia is just knowing all the facts." ~ william s. burroughs "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realise, oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner." ---Lynda Montgomery "I've never really been fond of mornings, especially weekdays. They mean work, and getting up, in that order." - SpookyJenni "Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth." - Daria You know what's a great exercise? Weight lifting! Well, it's not really the weight lifting. It's the running around you do when you drop one on your foot. |