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| Mostly Funny Quotes 7 |
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| Stuff |
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| "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." - Albert Einstein "Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at." "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." - Malcolm S. Forbes "One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow." - Vincent T. Foss "I'm not the person your mother warned you about... her imagination isn't that good." - Amy Gorin "I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not." - Fran Lebowitz "You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience." - Stanislaw J. Lem "I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times." -- Unknown "I recently moved into a new apartment, and there was this switch on the wall that didn't do anything. So anytime I had nothing to do I'd just flick that switch up and down, up and down, up and down. Then one day I got a letter from a woman in German. It just said, 'Cut it out.'" - Steven Wright "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place." -- Steven Wright "The bad end unhappily, the good unluckily. That is what tragedy means." Tom Stoppard, playwright "When will some people realize that perfume should be used to enhance your aura, not announce your arrival?" He's turned his life round. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. ---David Frost A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God! There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish something! ~~Thomas Edison |