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| Current Events |
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| The Limerick Savant |
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| Current Events |
| Ism or Isn’t As Bush wages his War on Terrorism He claims this will make it a rarer ism But it’s not a sure bet, If he makes good the threat, The void will be filled with a fairer ism |
| Ad in the Kabul Times If you believe you are a self-starter Then you can really do nothing smarter Than to join al-Qaida You won’t be well paida But you can be an Islamic martyr Or come enlist in the Taliban If you’re conversant in the Koran And vacation today At Guantanamo Bay Where the Marines will work on your tan |
| To avoid presidential flatlines It doesn’t take a meeting of minds Just heed dad’s advice Though pretzels are nice Your much safer eating pork rinds |
| They’ve counted and recounted the vote And George W. still gets to gloat That Gore’s choke on a chad Lost the chance that he had To get Osama stuck in his throat |
| FOTA (Fear of the Alternative): A letter to the editor in us all The real evil of Mohammed Atta Cannot be discerned from the data, For facts often lie When beliefs go awry And the Truth doesn't fly on errata. But your heart may eventually find What you already know in your mind. No matter the fear To which you adhere, True believers are all of a kind. In your race for a new human member Of the Heroic Club of September, Oh please hear the call Of life 'fore the Fall That is urging you on to remember As you select that upcoming headline And which stories to run or to redline So few of us squint To read the fine print That says "Your life comes with a deadline." |
| They are laying off workers at Ford Though their flag-waving ads aren’t ignored; While South of the border They are taking more orders. So please tell me, just whose ox got gored? |
| The State of the States Though the U.S. is under attack As a Superpower “We’ll be back!” In George Bush’s rendition Of the Union’s condition We can purchase whatever we lack |
| To the person who made the attacks That found postal security lax, I can’t say it louder, “OH, PLEASE TAKE A POWDER!” And preferably make it anthrax. |
| In a game of stock market poker Gruttadauria turned up the Joker. His clients were deceived By the bluff he'd conceived That left everyone broke but the broker. |
| In deference to Daniel Pearl and his family, I have removed the limerick concerning his kidnapping at this time. |
| Mayor Campbell aint you got some pain At the end of the Michael White rain? Now can Cleaveland be runn'd Since he spent up the fund And left you a Calamity, Jane? |
| (Best read with a bit of a twang) |
| Will campaign finance reform stay aloft With all the lobbying funds that were coughed Up, to shoot down the bill; And on Capitol Hill, House and Senate, like their money, turn soft? |
| Clearing the Air Mr. Bush has a plan, that is bold, To combat global warmth, I am told. The Kyoto accord Is completely ignored To make certain the plan leaves us cold! |
| Nothing-Noble-About-It, Georgia This most burning of questions obtains That the body count nary explains: If the lately expired Have been properly fired, There’s no question of burning remains? |
| His own lawyer, he'll rave and he'll rant Trafficking legal skills that are scant. Can this famed Congressman? He most certainly can, But his client, the fool, Traficant! |
| Political Grooming The congressional rep from Youngstown, A city that would turn your lungs brown, Is in Federal court. The latest report: He made his aides shovel horse dungs 'round! |
| The Limerick Savant |
| The Verdict As his lawyer, James couldn’t quite hack it. But for chutzpah – he never did lack it. So as to the charges ‘Bout whence came the largesse, Traficant sure did make a racket! |
| Visit the new Taxing Our Patience page |
| From Islamabad to Verse When I learned bin Laden can’t hide a Talent for verse, I confide a Slight envy. You see, The man, unlike me, Knows Arabic rhymes for “Zubaydah!” Get the story |
| Oregon has a new shibboleth We’ll assert with each undying breath. And so, here’s to you, doc! Pass the cup of hemlock: “Give me liberty AND give me death.” Get the story |
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