These Words

These words
They flow from my heart
From the depths of my soul
From the pain
Sorrow
Joy
Heartache
From life

These words
They tell the story my voice never could
They tell of the experiences
Wisdom
Memories
Hopes
Fears
The dreams I'm too afraid to share
The love I long to feel
The life I left behind
The life that lies ahead

These words
They are the thread
The key to my existence

These words
They haunt me
They bring me comfort
Peace
Serenity

These words
They are my everything

These words
They never leave me
They stay with me
Throughout my life
Throughout my death

These words
Many ask the age old question
What do you do
Meaning
What path have you chosen
My answer

These words
They will tell you
What you want to know
What you need to know
What you're afraid to ask
What you're afraid to hear

I am a poet
A writer of words
These words

March 3, 1999



Awakening

She awoke one morning from a wonderous dream.
Taking in that first conscious breath
releasing the impurities that haunted her.
Rising from the bed,
she gazed in the mirror
that she'd avoided for many years.
Unable to take her eyes from
the image that stared back at her,
unfamiliar with the feeling that came over her.
She closed her eyes for one brief moment
to savor the feeling of contentment.
The woman staring back at her
was the woman she tried for so long to see.
Beauty exhuded from her,
a tear formed
ne'er to fall upon her soft, rosey cheek.
A smile so brilliant
came across her face.
She found the answer
she'd been desparately searching for.
Oh that wonderous dream
had become her reality.
Never again to see herself
as she once did.
Far from perfect, she realized
the beauty she possesed was far more pleasing
than the beauty she'd never acheive.
This beauty will last forever.

February 18, 1999



That Night

You held my hand that night
Your touch soothed me
You told me it would be alright
Your words comforted me

Time went by so fast that night
Yet seemed to stand still
It was as if time didn't exist
You closed your eyes
Your head lay on my lap
In an instant I knew
All had become clear

You were my
Compass
Always directing me
Down the right path

You were
My day and Night
My Hope
My Dreams
My World
You were
My Hero

That night
You left me
My existence was shattered
My world was torn apart
All I knew to be true
Was no longer

I failed you
You left me

You left me when
I needed you the most
You left me wondering
what I had done wrong
You left me the responsibility of
explaining what you had done
You left so many questions
Unanswered

I forgive you
I forgive me

When you left
You took a part of me with you

That night you killed yourself
You killed a part of me too

March 2, 1999



I Had A Dream

~For J~

In my dream, your lips meet mine,
you taste so sweet, like vintage wine.
your kiss..so soft..makes me weak in the knees,
your breath moves past me like a warm summer breeze.

In my dream, our bodies collide,
your carress rushes over me like the evening tide.
your touch..so tender..makes my heart race,
my fears subside in your warm embrace.

In my dream..we two..become one,
we sleep with the moon and rise with the sun.
we laugh and cry and share the best times,
and I sit and scribble out lame, mushy rhymes.

In my dream I am happy as my love for you grows,
so why when i wake up do i feel so alone.
the answer is simple..somewhat obvious it seems..

it was, afterall
Only A Dream

November 18, 1998

What Happened To Us

I used to think love just happened
I was wrong
I used to think love could last forever
I was wrong
I used to think you were meant for me
I was wrong
I used to think we could work through anything
I was wrong

You used to look at me that special way
You stopped
You used to write me love letters
You stopped
You used to come to bed with me every night
You stopped
You used to touch me
You stopped

Why do we stay together
Is it for love
What is that anymore
Everytime I look at you I want to cry
I've changed
You haven't
I don't want this.. what we have
How can I tell you this
Have I been lying to you this whole time
Did I ever really love you

I don't know

Why did I have to change
Why did I stay for so long
I need to go
It's so hard to say goodbye
I have to do this
I'm not happy
I used to think I was happy
I was wrong
I was asleep
I was comfortable

I woke up

I can't stay
You were good to me
You just aren't right for me
It's time

TIme to go


Goodbye

March 10, 2000


Teddy Bear



Lying in my bed late at night
all alone and full of fright
suddenly out of the shadows
you appear and come to my rescue.
You do not say a word
your eyes put me at ease
your smile wraps around my soul
your touch takes my breath away.
A poet warrior
with words to tickle the strings of my heart..
but banish forever
those who dare question my honor.
I drift off into a pleasant slumber
safe and sound.. fearless
knowing you're there
keeping watch as I sleep
I dream sweet wonders
as I lay in your embrace
a fragile soul nestled sweetly
in the arms of
her teddy bear

February 4, 2001

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